Who the hell is Max? What, i miss something?Quote:
Originally posted by slim
Have you met Max yet... you know he wants to be a doctor.
Printable View
Who the hell is Max? What, i miss something?Quote:
Originally posted by slim
Have you met Max yet... you know he wants to be a doctor.
Max is retarted.Quote:
Originally posted by KrisSkis
Who the hell is Max? What, i miss something?
heh PNWBrit...good ones. Gotta love those "tearful outbursts." Especially from the men.
And while we are at it: how about the cube dwellers who constantly shift in their chairs all day long? What the hell is up with that?! Get some Preparation H or Vagisil already. Jeez!
:mad:
Sprite
Edit: Squeaky chairs. Very freakin' squeaky chairs. (yes, you'll probably be hearing about me on CNN soon...)
So clumsy. May I suggest (courtesy of The Onion):Quote:
Originally posted by slim
Time to buy an Assault Rifle.
SKOKIE, IL—Toshiro Tenchumaru, a 34-year-old ninja and longtime employee at Azuma Copier Corporation in Skokie, stealthily took the lives of 12 co-workers Monday after suffering what investigators theorize was "a breakdown due to job-related stress."
The disgruntled ninja was later captured by police while attempting to flee on foot across telephone lines.
Tenchumaru, who, according to office manager Diane Ellsworth, had been "unusually quiet lately, even for him," was reportedly deeply upset about his worklife.
Following a 9 a.m. staff meeting in which management discussed the possibility of eliminating Tenchumaru's position as Special Secretary For Nocturnal Liquidation, the ninja rose, gave a shallow bow and returned to his shadowy cubicle.
Ellsworth said that shortly thereafter, she and other employees could hear what sounded like a Shinto death-consecration ceremony, as well as "sharpening sounds," coming from Tenchumaru's cubicle.
The first deaths are believed to have occurred just minutes later.
"After the meeting, I was having lunch in the company cafeteria with Eric [Miller], James [von Lustbader] and Frank [Clavell]," office comptroller Timothy Marzano said. "I looked down for a moment to take a bite of my sandwich, and when I looked up, Frank's head had been cut off and placed on his tray, Eric had been sliced in half so neatly that his hair was still in place, and there was blood dripping from the ceiling directly above James' chair." Von Lustbader's dismembered body was later found inside the ceiling.
Sales supervisor Irene Young, whose cubicle was directly across from Tenchumaru's and who on several occasions had questioned the wisdom of having an office ninja, was the next victim, killed instantly when a single thrust from a razor-sharp ninjato-katana sword pierced her cubicle wall, sheared through her computer monitor, and plunged through her heart.
Tenchumaru then snapped the neck of associate marketing coordinator Donald Brodhagen, shredded the body of office manager Meg Whalen with 18 throwing stars, and used his Butterfly Soul Razor technique to stop the heart of office intern Ian Dallas long enough to drive the intern's nose through his brain with a single punch.
After killing Dallas, Tenchumaru ran along the tops of cubicles to reach the office of senior sales supervisor Leonard Haller, who was hit with eight arrows from Tenchumaru's saisumimen, a whisper-quiet recurved bow of ancient design and unparalleled craftsmanship.
"Tenchumaru's first arrow severed Haller's vocal cords, silencing him without hitting any of the major arteries or veins in the neck and without penetrating deeply enough to touch the spinal column," Skokie Police Department ballistics expert Ken Draper said. "An arrow was then fired into each of the seven henzoitoichi, or major nerve clusters, of Haller's body. Though the hits themselves were not fatal, the excruciating pain killed Haller within 10 seconds."
Four more Azuma employees were later found dead, two of them eviscerated, one garrotted and one impaled upon cunningly folded quarterly report folders. Forensics experts said none of the bodies seemed to indicate that the victims were aware of the ninja's presence at the moment of death.
you show up to work whenever you feel like, you wear shorts and a tshirt with a darn hole in the sleeve to work (looking very professional today i might add0 like your exempt from professionalism.
i have to say its pretty poor of you to waste your entire workday here on some stupid bulletin board instead of working and then complain about the people that work with you. this board is up on your screen practically all the time, i finally came here to see what you actually do all day.
no i'm not going to say who i am, but you shouldn't think that people here don't notice what your doing (or not doing like actually working) and that your special around here. who the heck do you think you are?
-but i'm just some idiot, right? :-(
Listen.... I gotta give a clue here now. I dont want any more bullshit, anytime during the day............. That includes me.
-WM
phUnk - this must be for you.
Don't think I've ever worn shorts to work?
Plus no one I work with has the sense of humor to write that.
That's my red stapler.
And in this corner wearing the blue trunks.:DQuote:
Originally posted by idiotcoworker
you show up to work whenever you feel like, you wear shorts and a tshirt with a darn hole in the sleeve to work (looking very professional today i might add0 like your exempt from professionalism.
i have to say its pretty poor of you to waste your entire workday here on some stupid bulletin board instead of working and then complain about the people that work with you. this board is up on your screen practically all the time, i finally came here to see what you actually do all day.
no i'm not going to say who i am, but you shouldn't think that people here don't notice what your doing (or not doing like actually working) and that your special around here. who the heck do you think you are?
-but i'm just some idiot, right? :-(
And I thought today was going to be boring.
Flaming Thread Viewing Supplies
popcorn: check
Beer: check
comfy seat: check
paper towels for when I blow beer through my knose from laughing to hard: check:D
Quote:
Originally posted by idiotcoworker
-but i'm just some idiot, right? :-(
It was fucking idiot you dolt. Now go club a squirrel.
Hmmm, that idiot coworker almost sounds legit.
That would be amusing, in a way.
edit: but how would the idiot know who phUnk is? That idiot coworker could be almost anyone's idiot coworker.
Or it could just be tuffy or frizzo, which is my bet.
How funny would it be if idiotcoworker really is one of phUnk's cube-mates?
Me thinks pretty funny.
edit: bested by iceman
tuffy can spell.
It's probably one of your IT guys. We see you when you're sleeping (always), we know when you're awake (never)...
:p
Sprite
Thanks for this. Exactly what I needed today. My f'n-cubmates are full idiots as well.Quote:
Originally posted by Arnold Pants
So clumsy. May I suggest (courtesy of The Onion):
SKOKIE, IL—Toshiro Tenchumaru, a 34-year-old ninja and longtime employee at Azuma Copier Corporation in Skokie, stealthily took the lives of 12 co-workers Monday after suffering what investigators theorize was "a breakdown due to job-related stress."
blah blah blah
Jeez that could be one of them above. Jose? Rob? Dan!?
tuffy's also very devious and good at alias creation. Peeple kan fayk badd spelun, ya noe?Quote:
Originally posted by yogachik
tuffy can spell.
I like the use of the Ned Flanders type anger phrases; heck, darn, very in character.
Are you team leader, or just assistant (to the) regional manager?
Respect to JayFrizzo who called Mrs phUnk to ask her what I wore to work today so he could use that info to strengthen an otherwise obvious alias appearance in this thread.
Except Mrs phUnk told him nothing, then ratted him out when I had lunch with her today. :D
I rule. JayFrizzo drools.
Kisses,
phUnk
Booo. I just called her to congratulate, but she still played dumb.
Further strengthening the idea that she has no sense of humor (made quite solid by the fact that she didn't laugh at Winebago Man nor The Family Guy.)
AKPM wants to come to your workplace and fuck some idiots too.
And then called me and laughed her ass off about it. :DQuote:
Originally posted by jayfrizzo
Booo. I just called her to congratulate, but she still played dumb.
I dare say you got "served."
It was *my* idea. And I didn't do anything foolish other than assume she'd take the ball and do something funny.Quote:
Originally posted by phUnk
And then called me and laughed her ass off about it. :D
I dare say you got "served."
Verdict: Kinda funny, but still gat.
Quote:
Originally posted by phUnk
And then called me and laughed her ass off about it. :D
I dare say you got "served."
And you poke fun at the mormons...HA!
What does 'gat' mean, other than firearm?