Printable View
Start by loosing the orange lens glasses (unless its flat light) and the face paint. ;)Quote:
Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
How do I pull this one off (boooty call related)
Just kidding.
I think the yogachik nailed it. Conversation that “she” is interested will go a long way…even for a married dude like me.
Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.
You're young enough that this will not affect your ability to perform, in the unlikely event that it becomes an issue.
Ha Ha Ha! This is good advice for a guy your age...Shit it's good advice for any guy.Quote:
Originally posted by Spats
Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.
Damn, I need to get one of those for my room.Quote:
Get a haircut, ya damn hippie.
werdQuote:
In all honesty - whatever you do - DO NOT OVER DO IT. Nothing will turn a maggette off more than going over the top. Be yourself and just make it a fun night. Get a movie. Play a stupid board game or something. If you try too hard, she'll catch onto your motivation immediately. And nothing sends a girl out the door faster than knowing that the only thing on your mind is getting in her pants.
I scared off way to many quality women in Aspen by going way over the top first date ( flowers music, etc) cuz I was tired of the odds & the bar whores.
once I got here & was not so, well desperate, I just was me & showed a keen interest in them & the rest is, well legend around these parts........
ok the last part is kidding but the rest is serious.
at her age she better think ya want her & not parts of her or yur done & she will tell all of her friends how it was you handsy bastard
Ha! :DQuote:
Originally posted by Woodsy
once I got here & was not so, well desperate, I just was me & showed a keen interest in them & the rest is, well legend around these parts........
First she has to know that she can be comfortable and have fun with you.
Then she'll make herself comfortable and have fun with you! ;)
What I remember about being a 17year old idiot trying to beat the long shot odds of getting laid, the most useful advice came in 2 parts:
1) girls want to bone just as bad as you
2) mostly, you just have to not screw up and you're in there
A list of things not to do would include a bunch of things that have already been mentioned: don't go overboard, don't have any expectations.
Some not mentioned: don't go for her pants as soon as you want to (not even half as fast as you want to), don't keep score in your head of things done right and wrong over the course of the night, don't think you can read her mind (read her body language and listen to her words/tone/pace), don't make a big deal about it when you make your move, don't think it's over if she asks you to slow down, don't talk about yourself in a manner that has any chance of grossing her out or making her not trust you, don't act cocky, don't act like you're not worthy, the list could go on longer..
Treat her with respect and get her to give you the lead.
Actually, it's a two way street. I ask tons of questions. If I'm out with you, I want to know you better, know who you are. In my experience, guys don't ask many questions. They want to cut to the chase and get to know you later.Quote:
Originally posted by road trip
He he... no offense, yoga, but somewhat ironic comment! Dissing guys for talking about themselves and not me!
AKPM - so keen to lose the "V" plates this summer. ;)
And yes, so was I a few years ago...
bust out some Norwegian on her!
"Vil du kline med meg?" (vill doo cleeneh meh mey) = will you make out with me
vil du pune med meg (poone) = will you fuck with me?
Substitute hunglah (see under my screen name) for kline and you have the Swedish version.
All of these worked for me this winter.
Quote:
Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
So I'm taking the norwedgion chick fishing on wedsday and my rents are both out of town and I get the houses to myself so far my plan is to inviter her to come eat dinner and I'll cook up her fish offer some wine ect. that gets her in the house then what? I can't drink because I have to take her home that night and I have to be at work at 7 am the next day... how do I pull this one off? (besides making a kickass dinner) And does anybody put stuff on the fish when they bbq salmon?
And wish me tons of luck
Dude, you can't drink because you have to take her home? uh, you drink, then you can't take her home, so she has to stay. Then you get to playing guitar or looking at pictures in your room, you both end up sitting on the bed, then you lay on the bed, and then you are humping and pumping (or at least making out) in no time. You would be suprised how well it works.
Since this is AKPM, I recommend you follow this advice twice.Quote:
Originally posted by Spats
Beat off just before she shows up. It'll keep you from acting like a drooling horndog.
Don't forget to hide the evidence. ;)
That only works on chicks that banged your best friend.Quote:
Originally posted by White Chocolate
Then you get to playing guitar or looking at pictures in your room, you both end up sitting on the bed, then you lay on the bed, and then you are humping and pumping (or at least making out) in no time. You would be suprised how well it works.
[/Phoebe Cates] Mike Damone is a fucking prick! [/Phoebe Cates]
"First of all Monkey, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."Quote:
Originally posted by SponsoredByDuctTape
That only works on chicks that banged your best friend.
[/Phoebe Cates] Mike Damone is a fucking prick! [/Phoebe Cates]
Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."
And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."
Well she's moving back to norway on the 27thQuote:
Originally posted by Telenater
Slow pitch in the title....
At risk of being too serious... Are you sure it's a booty call that you're interested in? Your previous post regarding this lady seem to indicate a deeper interest
But, what do I know?
Nevermind, just being bitter again...
Best of luck AKPM!
Quote:
Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
Well she's moving back to norway on the 27th
All throw some advice into the pot. I scored a chick my current gf that is way hotter then I am just on some simple things.
Since you are going fishing together then it's a start. Have some fish ready to be cooked at your house just in case you guys get skunked. But don't have it prepared just have everything you need to cook it good. Look up my thread they had some killer ideas that were simple. Offer to cook her a simple lunch nothing to fancy, make sure you offer her a selection of boose. Wine tastes like ass, maybe a Mike's hard whatever would suit her better. Throw on some music that she likes not you your job is just to pretend you like it.
Follow yogachick's advice ask her questions to the topics she seems most interested about. I know this is a little to late but chicks dig the mysterious guy. The less she knows about you the better.
For you I would recommend beating off twice or until it stops working.
Make sure you say things like "Wow you look really pretty in _____ " and "I really like your ____"
Just in case you do get a piece of ass just remember the collar bone is where it's at.
And whatever you do, do NOT under any circumstances say the words "thank you" after you're done.Quote:
Originally posted by Sublime
Just in case you do get a piece of ass just remember the collar bone is where it's at.
it's really interesting that a bunch of people with the same problems can give advice to others. haha, it really cracks me up how everybody thinks they know something. but, not really.
Hiding the evidence is key.Quote:
Originally posted by 13
Since this is AKPM, I recommend you follow this advice twice.
Don't forget to hide the evidence. ;)
http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-imag...ssomething.jpg
then I highly suggest busting out some lines in her native tongue. You do that, and you'll get her native tongue!Quote:
Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
Well she's moving back to norway on the 27th
In addition to my previous lines, try these:
Du er so vakker= you are so beautiful
vil du dusje (doo-she) med meg= will you shower with me
vi loss i sangen nack nu= let's get naked on the bed right now (Swedish correction for Norwegian...she'll probably understand it if you have the balls to try).
When you meet her parents (who probably know a thing about cross country skiing, bust out this:
hvor var du nag Oddvar Bra brakk staven? (voor var doo nog Oddvar Bro brock staven) it means "where were you when Oddvar Bra broke his pole" referring to 1982 or 83 Nordic Skiing world champion moment.... sort of like "where were you when the US beat Russia in Olympic hockey".
In my experience, Scandi women can be quite Scandi-lous (or at least sexually liberated). Go for it!!!
It's Wed, AKPM. Whatcha got planned?
if her ass looks anything like Yogachik's avatar, tell her
"du er so sterk rompe"