Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Charade? What?!

What did she think snow seeds did, exactly? Grow more snow? I have trouble believing someone could be that stupid, but I suppose I've heard worse.

When people go on vacation, they leave their brains at home.

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Originally Posted by nemophilist

Not technically a gaper - because this didn't really occur on a hill. But a stupid tourist nonetheless: Was driving on the pass between Keystone and Breck, and this lady coming the other direction (with an out-of-state license plate might I add) was STOPPED in the middle of the road. I slow down because I thought maybe something was wrong, and I see her start to frantically point at an...elk...on the side of the road - just chillin, eating some grass. (I should also add that she was not stopped because she was oogling at the elk, she clearly thought the elk was posing some sort of threat to any passing vehicles). So I speed up again and as I start to pull forward she starts frantically pointing at the elk as if I don't notice it, and then as I continue to drive without stopping she starts HONKING and throws her palms up towards me, desperately trying to get me to stop. Like what? Go home.

I kept an eye on her in my rear view mirror for a while and she was still there. Watching...waiting...what will this dangerous elk do next.

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I for one like this story. It's better than the hundred or so posts in this thread about wide skis.

I was riding my bike on the American River Parkway when I had to steer around a 5 foot diamondback. How do I know it was five foot? It's a ten foot bike path and the snake had its rattles on the center line and its head on the shoulder. I was thinking I should warn people coming the other way as I passed them but came to the conclusion that the snake was hard to miss.

Used to be you flashed your lights at oncoming traffic to warn people about a speed cop up ahead. Do people still do that?

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Originally Posted by old goat

Used to be you flashed your lights at oncoming traffic to warn people about a speed cop up ahead. Do people still do that?

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I do if it's the right scenario. The only time I can definitely say I saved someone from a speeding ticket was driving home from skiing this season. It was a country road with a speed limit of 45 but would allow you to go 55-60. I turned onto said road just as a cop was pulling into his hideout on the inside bend of a turn where a bridge blocks the sightline from upcoming traffic right before it. I get past the bridge and see a car barreling down the road and flash him the lights. He waves and slams on the brakes.

Maybe he was a local and was familiar with the spot but regardless it felt pretty cool for that to actually work.

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Originally Posted by creaky fossil

jesus, you stay inside your shitty office and stanky apartment all the time after moving to McBoulder 1 year ago, and you're not a gaper?

wait. I forgot. you frequently say "get the red ones" here in Maggotville. that proves you're no gaper, gaperboy.

you really are the poster boy for Internet Hipster, Meatspace Loser.

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Hey croaky, speaking of gapers, any chance you could supply us with a list of the top ten black diamond cat tracks in the United States? I hear you're an authority on the subject.

Used to be this thread was the one place you could get away from the trolling and flaming and have a couple of laughs.
All of y'all need to try to remember that one day we'll all be dead and none of this will matter. In fact it doesn't matter now.

And one day the sun with swallow the inner planets.

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Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

And one day the sun with swallow the inner planets.

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Won't have to wait that long--I give the human race another 200 years max. This thread is proof of that.

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Originally Posted by yeahman

Hey croaky, speaking of gapers, any chance you could supply us with a list of the top ten black diamond cat tracks in the United States? I hear you're an authority on the subject.

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what a winning bit of 4th grade snark. maybe you should get up there on the snake trails and groom them perfectly so's you don't feel all emasculated 'n' shit.

despite your heroic efforts, stuckboy remains a gaper whose online image of Big Maggot Expert is not substantiated by his skiing or MTB skills. I'm not surprised you'd try to buff his profile again, he may get suicidal!

Would you quit crying about stucky and post an actual bit of gaper quotage (no, quoting stucky doesn't count).

This is a chestnut, but last summer I was in a outdoor shop in Bishop, and a seasonal ranger girl was talking to the manager about crazy things the tourists ask her, and one was "At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?" Up to that point, I really thought that was something TGR people had made up.

every post about stuckboy is a post about a gaper and here's another gaper quote, paraphrased, from stuckboy:

You can just run the fuck out of your Trail Dog. Trail Dog knows when to quit. Trail Dog is a genius. Trail Dog can't be hurt by heat, dehydration, or a too-fast riding pace. Trail Dog is a hero.

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Originally Posted by coldfeet

Would you quit crying about stucky and post an actual bit of gaper quotage (no, quoting stucky doesn't count).

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You'll have to forgive croaky, he was bullied as a child and the resulting inferiority complex has led him down the path of becoming an Internet Big Mouth.

I thought deer turned into elk at a certain time of the year, not at a certain elevation. I'll have to go do a little more research on that one.

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Originally Posted by coldfeet

...and one was "At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?"

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Oh come on guys. Lets cut some slack, eh? :nonono2:
Obviously thought (as did I) that Deer are commonly found at a lower elevation than Elk are.
Is that wrong?

I mean I have seen Deer in Alameda & Angel Island (SF Bay). At Sea Level.
I have not seen any Elk.

So did "the 49'ers" hunt down all the local Elk for meat????

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

Oh come on guys. Lets cut some slack, eh? :nonono2:
Obviously thought (as did I) that Deer are commonly found at a lower elevation than Elk are.
Is that wrong?

I mean I have seen Deer in Alameda & Angel Island (SF Bay). At Sea Level.
I have not seen any Elk.

So did "the 49'ers" hunt down all the local Elk for meat????

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Interesting question. Elk only moved into the mountains to live when humans (the dreaded white man) pushed them there. Previous to that they were essentially prairie animals, as were grizzly bears (consult an account of the Lewis and Clark expedition for more on this). As for elk in the San Fran area, perhaps there were Roosevelt elk at one time (those are the smaller type of elk that still reside on Washington's Olympic Peninsula). But I'm just guessing at that.

In any case, having worked in Grand Teton National Park, I can say for sure that "When do deer turn into elk?" is a fairly common tourist question.

I've heard that big horn sheep and bears were also more of the prairie type, but something about white man yadayada.

I think Roosevelt elk are also in the Siskiyous but I don't think they ever were down to the bay area. Could be wrong though.

There's a good-sized herd of Roosevelt elk up the California north coast around Humboldt County:
http://www.redwoods.info/showrecord.asp?id=481

Transplants, IIRC, but nonetheless, just, as we say, sayin'.

^Awesome gaper quotes, keep'em coming. You guys are killing it!

Well I think the real question is, when do the moose turn into elk?

A: when you cross an ocean

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

Oh come on guys. Lets cut some slack, eh? :nonono2:
Obviously thought (as did I) that Deer are commonly found at a lower elevation than Elk are.
Is that wrong?

I mean I have seen Deer in Alameda & Angel Island (SF Bay). At Sea Level.
I have not seen any Elk.

So did "the 49'ers" hunt down all the local Elk for meat????

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Sea level to around 5000' - Deer
5000' to around 11'000' - elk
Depending on the aspect, any higher than that, most elk turn into caribou or reindeer

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

Obviously thought (as did I) that Deer are commonly found at a lower elevation than Elk are.
Is that wrong?

I mean I have seen Deer in Alameda & Angel Island (SF Bay). At Sea Level.
I have not seen any Elk.

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I've seen elk swim in the ocean several times. I don't think they care about elevation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e5REuWIILo
Start at 2:00 for shots of elk in the surf

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Originally Posted by mrburns

Sea level to around 5000' - Deer
5000' to around 11'000' - elk
Depending on the aspect, any higher than that, most elk turn into caribou or reindeer

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The moose are on South facing aspects between 1 and 2 thousand meters.

Tule elk were common in the Central Valley at one time. (But there are no elk in Elk Grove).
A valid question would be at what time of the year does the wild elk turn into the domestic elk in Jackson Hole?

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

Oh come on guys. Lets cut some slack, eh? :nonono2:
Obviously thought (as did I) that Deer are commonly found at a lower elevation than Elk are.
Is that wrong?

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I used to think this might explain the deer-elk question, but from the way ranger-girl told the story, that would clearly be giving the questioners too much credit for rational thought.

Another gaper question she mentioned was asking the weather or if it will rain on (name a date 5-10 days in the future). She'd offer them the weather forecast and some of the tourons would get angry and insist that she tell them exactly what the weather would be on said date. I really don't understand this because even lifelong city dwellers know weather forecasts are imprecise, but maybe these tourons were conditioned by the usual predictability of flatland-California summer weather.