Fast Fred is a performance piece
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Fast Fred is a performance piece
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I wasn’t dating her, just a friend. We dated a yr ago, I stayed friends cause she had two kids, I even tried to get her back with her husband. I’m just a dumb nice guy. I do like her, but stayed the fuck away after the first rehab fail. I would have dumped her at her parents house, but they took off. So I stayed to keep her from another dui, keep her sober.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunion 2020
Fast Fred is right, totally stupid of me, but if she dies, at least i know I gave it my best.
Very sad for those of you in here with loved ones in this state, you have my sympathy’s.
Next stop Solitude and a 50 plus day season, this town sucks.
Might want to introspect on this while you drive out to your new home. You will want to make friends out there and many times the easiest people to meet and connect with are the type of people you have a pattern of being with. Dont want to fall into the same old trap in a brand new town.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cono Este
I don’t want to get into dating here, but they hide it. I just make friends now, too old.Quote:
Originally Posted by californiagrown
Fair enough, best of luck with your new locale. SLC has a lot going for it.
I’m w byates, no go on the NA beers..too close to home
Yeah, agree, I don’t understand them. They don’t actually taste that good, and have a bunch of empty soda calories, basically.
6 years ago I was given an ultimatum to get a counselor. After three rehabs, burying a bunch of buddies, and countless failed counselors, I laughed and gave what I thought was lip service. Well my google search was a win, probably one of the few times I’m actually thankful for google other then a good new porn stream. Anyway, guy was a builder, divorced twice, remarried, smokes herb, doesn’t drink, went to Rikers, grew up homeless, and has real life experience. I have been seeing him weekly religiously since. Some weeks we shoot the shit about nothing, but some weeks I need that session.
So anyway, where I was going with this, I lost a friend a few years ago to heroin. I don’t keep in touch with many from my drug using past but this guy I did. I’d see him around. Sometimes he was on the mend, others a complete shit show. I ended up helping him out in trying to get clean. He asked me and it’s the least i can do I feel knowing what I went through. So I helped him, full well knowing that first and foremost I had to be careful for myself, but also it may or may not work. 12 days clean he woke up and was out of suboxone. Instead of detoxing and getting sick his inner junky kicked in and he went and scored. Went home and over dosed in his bed at his parents. I was really upset. I knew it could happen but I thought I would help him beat it. I was wrong.
On that Wednesday I sat talking to my guy about it and he stopped me after I explained and talked for a while. He told me about his mentor and counselor he had. My counselor had been through the same and so had his counselor. We he was dealing with his situation his counselor stopped him and asked him if he knew what the plaque on his desk said that faced him when he sat there. My counselor said no and asked what. The plaque simply said “not everyone can be saved”.
I’ve taken that with me. It’s helped me not to beat myself up and not hold responsibility for things I don’t control. I will always help and support when I can, but I also have to remember that drugs and addicts are very selfish and if I’m not selfish and don’t look out for myself I can end up getting sucked in to owning others issues or, for me, verging on disaster.
Long story short, you’ve tried. It hurts you and makes you want to do anything. But it’s not up to anyone but the addict. Unfortunately.
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Oh and btw, I don’t get the NA beers. Probably because I only like drinking beer for one reason and it’s not the taste.
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Thank you. It’s a sad truth I am learning. I don’t drink, but with weed being legalized in Mo. this drove me to smoke my brains out. During the first collapse last yr, and inbetween when I stepped away per the program and got depressed. I’m talking 24/7, an 1/8 every two days. I’ve always self medicated but took a.break with kids after leaving Cali. Had two weeks of withdrawal, never had that before. I also have had some bad depression in my times, and this brought out some bad memories living overseas as a kid in dangerous places. It’s basically ripped me apart watching this person kill themselves. When I got control in May, realized how I got in this fucked situation, an empty nest,her narcissism and addiction, plus a 30 day season reminded me of who I really am. I decided I had to bail from this town, listed my house, then this started again. Everything happens for a reason.Quote:
Originally Posted by SoVT Joey
I havent had the urge to smoke, cause I made a plan. So far so good.
Thank you again.
Thanks to those that recommended the book This Naked Mind by Annit Grace. I'm only half way through, but I think it's a good read whether you drink or not, just to get someones insights on why people drink. I particular like the comparisons between the conscious and unconscious mind.
Alcohol finally killed a friend of mine today. We had worked together for years until he was fired for performance issues a few years ago.
It was the classic case of a very good and kind soul who had unshakable demons that eventually cost him his job, most of his friends, and his family. And then it finally destroyed him. Many of his friends and coworkers tried to help over the years--covering for him at work, offering treatment, etc but he never wanted it. Alcohol is a motherfucker.
And as mentioned up-thread, you cannot help anyone who doesn't want it. It's like a law of physics--it just can't be done.
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shit man sorry to hear.
Condolences Rev.
I too have a friend, one of my tightest old acid buddies from the 70s who's been a hard drinker for years. But when his wife went nuts, he really went at it, lost his job and has been through rehab 3 times now, the last time after a serious DUI with the clink in the recipe unless he stays off the booze.
So far, so good, but I wonder if he really wants it. I spent a lot of time visiting and just trying to be there, discouraging alcohol, going for walks in between dropping and picking up my son from that freaky school in SE Stumptown. I didn't harp on it too much, just tried to be there in a really shitty situation.
Probation and the threat of the big house is keeping him clean, but I'm wondering what's going to happen once probation's over.
Ok mags, here’s my story (abridged). I have struggled with ETOH my entire adult life. I’ve had periods of sobriety/ clarity many times. But not in recent times. I am exhausted of being exhausted, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Seano is as well. I haven’t had a drink in 24 hours, and I am terrified of physically withdrawing and dying. I feel ok right now, just restless…. I have lurked on this thread for a long time, and have met one of the mags here irl (looking at you WRG), so any advice, support or anything is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Take a breath Focus on how it feels different and that’s okQuote:
Originally Posted by seano732
Be patient and it will get easier
Don’t go to the usual places and find new activities
Take a walk or sing or rock out
Anything else is better than drinking just don’t switch to something else that’s bad
One day at a time and take a breath
It’s so much better than drinking and you can focus on the joy
Remember what it’s like when you drink and don’t drink and learn how that feels better
Give it a few weeks and the weirdness will subside and you will settle in
Remember to not go back to familiar drinking places for at least a year
Rinse and repeat
Feel free to pm me for more info
I’ve led chemical recovery and helped a lot of people get sober
You got this!!!!!!
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I'm 3 yrs this Saturday. If I can do it you can do it dude. I am at such a good place. Completely clear and quiet. You'll get to this place.Quote:
Originally Posted by seano732
I'm an AA fan. Tried for yrs alone. I'm not fighting alone. I've got an army now. I rest easy. Most people will not get the quiet alone. We are here.
Thank you so much. Pm incoming.Quote:
Originally Posted by whyturn
Do you have time to PM me? I appreciate you.Quote:
Originally Posted by byates1
Absolutely
Sending positive vibes seano.
Photo of that meeting. Good times.Quote:
Originally Posted by seano732
Attachment 497290
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Absolutely. Thanks Harry.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry
Congrats on the milestone!Quote:
Originally Posted by byates1
Thx in advance mister!
Another lap around the sun for this old pile. Big ups to WRG!
Seano good of you to reach out for help. Glad you linked up with byates. I'm currently at my brother's wedding but feel free to hit me up whenever. My digits are in one of the links in my signature. We're here to help. Don't fuck around detoxing on your own if you were drinking as hard as I was. At least go to urgent care or the ER. Withdrawal nearly killed me. We want you to stick around!
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Thanks man. On day four, so far so good just wicked insomnia. Thing two is in nursing school and is keeping track of my vitals, temp etc. Had a really long talk with byates earlier today, which was awesome. Enjoy the wedding, I will hit you up for sure. I plan on sticking around, you owe me a Jenga rematch….Thanks again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Whiteroom_Guardian
And, how hard was that? I think that’s a key point readers are always looking for.Quote:
Originally Posted by Whiteroom_Guardian
I wasn't like a falling down drunk, but in early 2010 kinda full time ski bumming it was beers all day and some hard booze at night. Maybe 20-25 drinks a day. Just steady intake. Really not that crazy compared to people drinking vodka round the clock.Quote:
Originally Posted by gaijin
Decided to dry out a couple days. Shakes, hallucinations, seizure. That was the end of my drinking career really. Thought I was dying when I had that seizure. Pretty fucked. Tried to drink a couple more times and and just couldn't do it anymore. Just instant panic attacks from like 2 beers after that. I swear something clicked in my body and it was trying to tell me, "Hey shithead....stop poisoning me you fucking dummie." One of the best things that ever happened to me.
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Keep kicking ass dudes. Every time I think I might be done with this place, I read something like this that reminds me that there are so many good people helping each other and being real that I keep coming back.
Going cold turkey can be dangerous. My ex GF did that and ended up seizing. Could have died. Recommend a medically supervised detox.
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So at what point is cold turkey dangerous? What daily intake over time makes quitting cold dangerous?Quote:
Originally Posted by 54-46
What’s the literal daily intake?
Because tapering is also insanely hard. The alcoholic can set a taper schedule and once the numbers get too low after a few days the monkey brain will take over and day 6 of 50% intake results in the monkey saying— “Fuck it. We’re drinking again.” This is kindling for a disaster.
And then— said tapering alcoholic failed the schedule. And now he has to start all over again… under the belief that cold turkey is too dangerous.
So— go to a clinic.
No fucking way. That goes on the social security number health system record. Meaning— all future employers will know of your past battles.
So, back to the OG question. At what point is quitting cold the more dangerous road than failing the taper schedule over and over again?
I was drinking 6/8/10/12 a day, beers 6.5 abv. I stopped in my own. Couple nights sweating.
I think if you are deep into hard liquor hitting a handle or more daily then yeah want to be ready for detox.
Ymmv
Update, my gf is 30 days sober. A month ago she was mixing pills and Chardonnay and I thought shed die after we were into a hike and I figured it out. Her parents and family,friends were all telling me she was hopeless, and going to die. Glad I followed through. Def learnt a lot.
As great as this all is, it’s the second time in 6 months, and there won’t be a third for me, both times after I help, her aa sponsor shows up a day late and says no dating, even though we’ve been off and on for two yrs . It fucked my whole summer up and my house sale fell through.
I feel for all of you, and I will personally never have a drink again. Although this all made me start smoking blunts again. Need to turn that around for myself and stay away from crazy chics.
Employers can check on health records? In the US? I have no idea but that would surprise me.Quote:
Originally Posted by gaijin
Gaijin might be drinking again. Your SSN isn’t tied to your medical records and even if it was you are protected by HIPAA.
As far as DTs and seizures during detox it depends on the individual. Body weight, duration, how you drink through the day etc.
Like if you’re drinking a few liters of wine or a case of beer or a liter of vodka everyday day and starting in the morning until you go to bed you’re going to have issues with stopping.
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Just checking in. Day seven. I had three straight nights of insomnia, then the night before last woke up drenched in sweat. I was hyper aware of any SxS that would send me to the ER, but so far so good. Thanks again to all the mags who reached out. One day at a time.
Way to be seano.
^^^ this. And, it’s not just tapering. My GF was having benzos Rx and was being supervised by a nurse. Look into getting assistance instead of trying to detox solo.Quote:
Originally Posted by MagnificentUnicorn
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