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^^ It seems that nothing good would come from contesting it so... Onward>>>
In fits and starts :redface: Is it weird that every time today that I want to miss my dad the words he used in his will enter the picture and I don't miss him. Fuck, this is gonna take a while. grr
Don't leave anything unsaid no matter if it hurts or not even if you think it's the right thing to do at the time. Get it done.
It does sound like things kind of lead back to your Mom and her hatred of your wife. Not unheard of - mother-daughter in-law relationships often start off bad and get worse. Had to threaten any Mom with choosing my wife over her to get her to back off. Perhaps Mom poisoned the well? In which case, probably far too late to do anything about it.
I'll wager a beer that over time you'll slowly get more of the picture from your brother. I've never met the guy and he sounds sanctimonious and smug in a way that he won't be able to help himself. The less you pry, the more he won't be able to stand it. And of course, not knowing shit about your family, I could be way off base. Find your own peace.Quote:
Originally Posted by gravitylover
Both of you are right. Thanks for listening folks :)
I found this worth a read: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...edundant-carer
The comments are worth a read too of course; every article on elder care seems to trigger an avalanche of personal responses.Quote:
Next morning, the care worker made an astute but painful observation: I was the problem. This level of confusion would happen only when or after I came home, as if my spending the night in the house I had grown up in opened up too many pathways into the past, at the expense of Mum’s frail connection to the here and now. I started staying elsewhere, visiting for just a couple of hours when I was in town. Mum improved accordingly.
Get an email today from Dad asking myself, wife and daughter to download the Signal app immediately "just in case" the internet goes out. Couple of weeks ago, got an email from my Dad about the stock market and to move some things in a few accounts to cash "just in case".
Of course I ask him what he has been reading lately to all of a sudden send today's email. He said "well if you don't want to that's fine. I’m just told that if the worldwide internet goes out the military will texting/messaging through equipment they are in control of. And that Signal does not need a server to operate."
People smarter than I, what do you make of this? Cause I'm at a loss currently.
Signal still needs a data connection. Let's be honest, if "the internet" isn't reachable, it's likely your data connection is not going to work either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
Signal is just WhatsApp but not owned by Zuck.
No offense intended, your dad is acting a little nutty.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
There was a theory floating around a year (or two) ago that solar activity was going to take the internet out. There's also the reality that we're currently in a solar storm event that is expected to peak some time in 2025. So maybe that?
How old is your Dad and what's his medical history?
never forget y2k…
I face palmed so hard I may look like a 50's housewife at work tomorrow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Touring_Sedan
I fucking know and I am wondering if things are ok down in AZ.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser4
Late 70s. Not bad but like anyone that age has a chart, with a few majors listed. My parents are at the age they shield me from anything going wrong with them now. I tried to go down there a few months ago to visit and my mom said she was not up to it. I believe she is ready to call it a good life. She seems incredibly bored.My mom has also commented to my wife she is worried about my dad's memory. I am worried about both of their memories and more the cognitive decline I have noticed over the last 2 years. They don't go out much. Dad golfs at least once a week but that is it. Mom does nothing that I am aware of. Used to quilt but her hands aren't great anymore. She scrolls Facebook.Quote:
Originally Posted by PB
This is hard. Lost my mom in law in February. I see a lot of similarities life span wise with my parents.
Yeah, sounds not good. Any chance of getting them in senior facility with activities and lots of people to interact with?
If you have any siblings, maybe get together to make plans for what's coming down the road?
As someone your parents age, I see a lot of similarities. I should probably start going to the Silver Sneakers. And I was were you are 15 years ago with my dad, telling him to exercise and eat right. He believed that "We all gotta go sometime".
Must be the drinking water.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
My Dad just passed. It hurts a lot even though we knew he was getting close. He had a good life, he passed at home where he wanted to be. Ironically he was getting so frail that just 2 weeks ago we started the process of getting him to long term care so that my Mum (the caregiver) wouldn't herself get injured trying to help Dad.
Before we started the process of putting Dad into LTC myself and my brother/sister put together a list of public resources for senior care. It's highly Canada/BC specific and very regional for SW BC. I scrubbed out personal info but can email it to anyone who may find it useful. You can PM for this
My sincere condolences. It sounds like you did the very best for him.Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeLau
So sorry for your loss LeeLau. Glad to hear your father was able to leave this life on his own terms.
Sorry LL!
My mom will be moving into unassisted living home next month. It's a good thing. She's doing great but also getting up there in age. And she's been more isolated than any of us would like her to be since my dad passed in 2010. I'm hoping she can make some friends or at least get involved with some of the classes and events they have.
Condolences Lee, how old was he, it did look like mom was the caregiver in the picts on FBQuote:
Originally Posted by LeeLau
edit: seen it on FB, thats a pretty good run !
I forget where i read it but the blurb said an 80 yr old should not be in control of their own finances, I don't particularly want to at this point but I realize i will have to move closer to oldest son to make it easier for him to help me
Condolences, Lee.Quote:
Originally Posted by LeeLau
So sorry Lee.
Text from dad this afternoon asking if I’m available to talk right now. Heart sank. Dad FaceTimed me and turn out is actually my sister. Kidney and liver failure, in the hospital. My mom also is about on kidney dialysis with the numbers she’s sporting lately as well. These kinds of days are quite difficult.
Shit man best wishes.
Vibes Buzz.
Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums
I wanna go skiing real bad
Can't help with that but I can send a virtual hug.
I do too. You know what I did last night ? Put my Bosu ball in the middle of the living room and put Blizzard of Ahhhhs on the 72 inch flat screen. Stayed balancing on the Bosu for the whole movie.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
I am stoked AF about the upcoming season. I am going to break 100 days on skis this season. Some of those days will be skiing with Buzzworthy.
It’s good to have a plan.
Definition of Rock Star:yourock: This year, I turned 65. My realistic goal is to ski 65 days.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry
+++VIBES+++ Lee and Buzz
Buzz. Hang in there. It does and will suck. But the pain becomes an ache and gets a little less painful
>>>vibes<<<Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
I appreciate the kind words and encouragement. Harry it’s on.
Met with a kidney specialist as the numbers showing 14%. I don’t know much about this but the internet says that’s dialysis territory. I have a lot of reading to do. With a transplant liver needed too, fuck.
+++vibes buzz+++Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
Sent from my Pixel 8 Pro using Tapatalk
I’m sorry to hear that Buzz.
Trying to get more information about my sister and I’m trying to figure out what is real data and what is fluff my mom is adding to the issues at hand.
They are old. My mom is thinking she can donate part of her liver. In her responses on text, it’s clear she’s confused with all of the information coming in. But I’m wondering what’s up with my dad. He’s just quiet on our group text.
So she’s been in the hospital now for 4 days. I know zero more now than I did then. Except my mom has given her hand and foot massages. What? I asked for real updates and I can’t seem to get them.