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Northstar New Years day, gaperfest!!! Many jeans and gators, many fag bags, many google gapes. This one guy behind us in line was going on about some nonsense he said, "I shold have brought my other skis these ones keep Shattering at high speeds." I almost "shattered" my pants. The he said "I wish I had my El Caminos those don't shatter as bad". HE had on like 1995 Solomon X-creams, and when did el caminos come out? 1998. Classic
Cypress Bowl parking lot.. Barbie girl's car with summer tires is stuck in 30cm of new snow since she parked. I ask if she has chains.. she says "this is vancouver, they're all-seasons.. whatever".. Comedy Gold!
Today..."Let's start an avalanche." I also witnessed the best lift unload fall ever. Gaper female about 50 years old fell backwards so her arms went up and out like she was doing the "Y" in the YMCA song. Her poles went about 30 feet in the air.
"Vail resorts should connect Breck to Keystone...and make Imperial a magic carpet."
Along with standing in Chair 11 liftline today when I snaked infront of a guy to get to some friends when I got infront of him he swung his pole at me hitting me in the leg. My dad a few people in front who never gets mad says, "I will beat our ass little man shut the fuck up." The guy said some stuff back and it ended with," Take that Yameca and your Jewish ass back to New York." Good times at Vail!
not really gaper'ish but good ones from my last trip to WP/MJ.
While taking my recently started 4 year old son down an easy green a boarder bit it right in front of us. As he skis around him he loudy says "Ha Ha you crashed" I corrected him right away to the effect that it wasn't nice to say things like that. To which his imediate response was "but daddy.....he was a boarder" I was laughing so hard I had to stop.
That morning after getting off of the new gondola from the free parking to the base I'm trying to keep a galking 4 year old walking in a straight line and I see a couple behind us. Had said hello earlier like I do to just about anyone with a smile on thier face and looking in my direction. He is decked out in nice gear with skis over the shoulder and wasn't wearing a helmet. His wife was behind him with a snowboard and a helmet. About that time the hubby turns and cracks her in the head/helmet with the back of his skis. I prepare for holy hell to rain down on him like it would have on me if I were still married to my gorgon of an x-wife. She just smiles at us and says "now you know why I wear a helmet." Now that's good people.
saw some kid in the lift line at loveland carrying his snowboard; decked out in an orange one-piece hunting suit and bicycle helmet without the shell. priceless
Walking back to the car on Kirkwood Meadows Rd. right before Timber Creek this past Saturday - a older man in an SUV leans out the window and asks me "Is Kirkwood this way?"
"Um yeah it is - the main ticket area is just down the road."
"OK? For skiers right?"
"Yeah for everybody!" (i was carrying a snowboard)
It was pretty funny.
Not skiing related, but I was living in Anchorage a few years ago when my roommate had a buddy from NY visiting. They had gone for a hike that day, and his buddy (in thick Bronx accent) said on the phone "Yo - check this out! I saw a husband moose AND a wife moose!"
Is he sure they weren't just F buddy meese? :fmicon:Quote:
Originally Posted by kttate75
This made me laugh - last week at Targhee I was walking back to my truck and a guy commented on my helmet cam. He was like "is that a video camera?" and I was explaining how it worked to him. His wife and daughter were with him, and very loudly he says "you could use that to make some good pornos!" The look on his wife's face was priceless.
The gapers at Moonlight tend to keep to themselves so I don't get any good quotes. Apparently, it's pretty difficult to load and unload from a fucking chair lift because it has been stopping and slowing down a lot this holiday season. Which is just great when is bitter cold and windy. They don't even slow the lift down for ski patrol dogs, and the six shooter couldn't come around the wheel house any slower. You know what you are if you can't get on and off a lift? Dumber than a dog.
Yesterday the guy next to me grabbed the safety bar and said "Want it down?" I said "no", and there was a pretty awkward silence after that. Hey, he gave me a choice!
Also, there is practically never a lift line a MLB, so I can just hang back when I see a bunch of people with rentals or 20 year old shit, and get the next lift.
And I am from NY and I am so local. Kidding.
They might have been deer that just kept heading north ...Quote:
Originally Posted by Making a Pizza
Today, as I was surfing the couch after a decent day on the hill, I came across some Gems. There's too many to pick just one, so I'll quote the whole thing...
jus' yankin your chain buddy.Quote:
Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn
I can take it.
OMG, I couldn't even watch that whole video. I think the key the Anton's problem, is that he's a shitty skier. "A poor carpenter blames his tools."
"So I was going down the cattrack and I heard someone behind me say on your right. So i went right and he hit me."
ya I was out there today and a idiot has wandered over to the small cliffs area and I was with some buddies taking pictures and skiing hard all day. The kid looks super scared and is pro skiing on 160's so we lead the kid to gully to take back to Earls. We tell the kid not to go back there because you can get hurt and all that BS.Couple runs of lovers leap we head back over there and the kid is back. I just wish he would have listned. But i bet he had all his rescue gear in his sweet Dakine pack!Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoBCSkier
i'm sure the kid had brought all his buddies with him to show-off his hardcore "hey, i'm a local now" knowledge of the "hard parts", eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by televback1
similar story from some time ago: a friend just starting up skiing gets his first "powder day" on 20cm of fresh. since then they refuse to ski anything but "powder" because it's, apparently, the best.
I just started ski patrol this week so I've heard quite a few already.
Me and another patroller see this kid walking down a somewhat steeper beginner run and go over to see what is wrong. "I don't know, my snowboard won't move at all."
us: "Do you have any idea why?"
"No, my buddy waxed it last night."
us: "What kind of wax did he use?"
"Candle Wax"
After an incredible amount of snow pretty early in the season here in Wyoming, our mountain is completely covered. We got almost fifty inches in one week and all runs are open, and almost every (small, its all we have) drop has disappeared under the snow. Its more snow than we've had the past few years. I was riding up with some people that I've never seen before who obviously aren't from the area.
"Man, I can't believe we're having such a bad winter. I can't wait until we get some real snow."
He then proceeded to ask me if I could show him some "my secret spots." This is at a ski resort with two lifts, and 1,000 vertical. Its pretty obvious. I told him what you see is what you get.
TeleHoar and I skied East Vail on Saturday. After our first lap, I got on the bus and sat down next to this guy. He turns to me in amazement and says, "Did you guys just ski the face?!" I laughed and told him what we skied was called Watertower.
Good idea. Just make sure to wear your helmet while filming...Quote:
Originally Posted by 72Twenty
Years ago when I was a liftie at Targhee I was loading chairs on Balckfoot (center pole double chair). A single skis up to get on the chair, as you approach the loading area there were 3 sings that said "singles load on Left". The guy is standing right in the middle, I tell him 3 times to load on my side (the left) he never acknowledged me, I had said it quite loud the last time, there were 3 signs... Here's the chair, so I push it over to put him in the left side and he goes for the right side at the same time, BAM! center pole right to the back, yard sale right on the loading ramp, fuckin' Jong.
Him: "Why did you do that?!?!?!"
Me: "As a single you are supposed to load on the left, there are 3 signs telling you that as you ski up to the loading area."
Him: In a pissed off tone"I don't read when I'm on vacation!"
first and only day i've been to breck this season, i DO have my head phones on and i get tapped on the shoulder and have to take them off for this question. (when you're standing in line at the bottom of the beaver run chair you are basically pointed in the direction of where the bus drop off and pick up is, it's very obvious, mostly cause of the large busses coming in and out but there are signs directing you to where each route will take you. so like red, blue, black and brown and they will go to different places like the ice rink or the various parking lots around town) so this 40 year old something man asks me "if i've been up on the red route yet today? how it is? and if it is harder than the black route because he's never been to a mountain with red trails before."
Douchebag comes into the lodge yesterday and he is covered with snow. Turns out he is wearing a fleece jacket and it is throughly caked. The guy sitting next to me says " Looks like today wasn't a good day to wear fleece" and the douchebag says " I always wear fleece because when I fall I dont want to slide too far" Then he takes off his fleece to hang it on the fireplace and he had body armour from head to toe. What?
Couple of quotes from my Floridian friend in his first season of skiing:
(First minor powder day, on the lift ride up, watching people skiing under the lift) "Holy shit! You can't even see their skis!"
(First run on a real powder day, comes off the first run with a big grin on his face) "I just got it in the face!"
He had various other revelations that season, such as "tree skiing is fun," and "skis turn better when the edges are sharp."
LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by beefcake
That bus stop is right across from my office.
My favorite one is the lady that asked if the YELLOW buses really went to AMARILLO!?
Where do you put the snow during the summer?
Saturday I am @ Wilmot (Yes Wisconsin) coaching my sons ski team, the person next to me in line says to her friend "Your stick things are bent" she looks at her poles & says oh you dont use them except to push in the lift line it doesnt matter look at how bent his are refering to my GS poles...
you guys have some great gaper quotes.
thanks for adding to the bullshit around here. :fuckyou:
seriously worthless thread.
Some of us find it amusing... you don't have to open it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ono
Yes, we could get in another discussion about "to each their own", fuck gapers, they pay for your cheap pass, blah blah blah. No specific people are being called out here so just chill out.
This is a fucking hilarious thread. "Lighten up Francis" Try overheardinnewyork.com if you want to see some really funny shit people sayQuote:
Originally Posted by ono
This is more of a chair lift experience than a direct quote. Several weeks ago, I was riding up Teacup at Vail with some douchebag attorney dude from Denver in his 40's along with what I presumed to be the secretary he's currently fucking.
This was soon after montanaskier's Lover's Leap incident, so patrol was pretty adamant about bombing. As we near the ridgeline, there's clear evidence of avy control on the ground with several bombholes and avy debris present.
Well ... DADFD was 100% convinced that the avy debris was ice, and he was talking to the SHCF as if he absolutely knew what he was talking about (common trait among lawyers). When SHCF asked about why the snow was gray in color, DADFD said it's because the snow there was very shallow and it's the ground beneath making that color as such.
Did you explain to them that you were a douchebag paralegal, and though he may be partner, you had a bit more on the ground information about the matter?Quote:
Originally Posted by NPG
A guy in Aspen politely informed me that I was missing a chunk out of the back of both of my skis.
I was on Sanouks.
Not a quote but:
I had the opportunity to ride a lift with a well kept rancher whose appearance and presentation were obviously very important to him. Apparently he grew up skiing, was a self proclaimed “very good skier,” had been out of it a while and was excited to be getting back into skiing. His wardrobe ensemble included a nice western print wool coat; pretty silk bandana tied just so, sun glasses, hair and a cowboy hat that had all received effort an attention to be just right.
Getting off of the lift that has a relatively flat exit ramp, his tips cross, he swerves right whipping out a series of cones and then left back into the ramp. I turn around in time to see his hat has been knocked off, glasses are crooked and bandana is awry, one ski is on the other is off and he is sitting in the middle of the ramp rubbing the back of his head where the chair had hit him with a look as if he were about to cry on his face.
As I skied off laughing to myself, I thought that would be the end of the entertainment cowboy provide but:
At the end of the day I find that cowboy is parked right next to me and his is preparing to load skies into the rocket box on top of his “rig.” He is wearing his ski boots as he steps up into the open door of his “rig” as his is reaching to put the skis into the box he looses traction and slams his shin into the floorboard.
As I walk off, again his hat and glasses are crooked and he is rubbing his shin with the same, about to cry, look on his face.
about the SHCF or the avy?Quote:
Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark
Nah ... I try to keep my douchebag paralegal self in check on the lifts. I didn't bother to mutter a word for fear that his monologue full of bullshit would come to an abrupt end and the flight entertainment would cease. He was also poking fun and critiquing form at many skiers we saw below us as if he was an acclaimed expert.Quote:
Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark
And yeah, he also slammed the armrest bar on my head too.
After a snowboarder fell in the lift line his friend yelled at him "is that spilly ray cyrus over there"
As funny as that is, isn't it kinda mean? I would have helped him up after the chair unload wipeout - especially if it hit him in the head. Just sayn'Quote:
Originally Posted by mtsprings
I saw one a while back when I was a lifty at Wolf Mountain (pre Canyons days). I was working at Raptor lift with a buddy and this guy in a one piece skis up to get on the chair, it is pole in the middle type of deal, sign says load on left, my buddy is loading him and says, load on the lift sir, look to the middle, he mutters that he knows how to get on a chairlift. Keep in mind I just finished smoking a huge bowl so I am thoroughly toasted, and I watch as the pole hits the guy in the ass, starts pushing him up the ramp (chair had a steep ramp immediately after loading) and the chair starts swinging back, (if we stopped the chair everytime this happened, nobody would make it up the hill) and right at the top, both skis pop off and the chair throws him headfirst down the other side of the ramp. I start to laugh as he climbs back up the other side screaming about how we need to fix the ramp. My buddy says, I warned you to load on the left and look inside, he keeps yelling and demands to speak to our supervisor. Our supervisor basically tells the guy he is an idiot. I was laughing so hard I had to go in the shack to laugh. Fuckin hilarious.