Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

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Originally Posted by riser3

Bump.

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Why don't all threads start by asking what the idiots think?

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Originally Posted by jono

Why don't all threads start by asking what the idiots think?

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They don’t need to. It is implied.


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I lost track. Somebody remind me. Twelve people voted that they could take a gorilla. Stealsurface admitted to being one of them and made his case. Do we know who else and what their thinking is?

If you click to view results it will show who those macho denialists are. AEvospace, bearcub69, bobz, exsparky, frorider, grskier, m2711c, pepperdawg, RootSkier, sirbumpsalot, stealurface831, VTskibum are all tougher than King Kong.

Edit: Whoops. Looks like you lose the ability to do that after voting.

I dispute the poll premise.

How could you kill a gorillla if you don’t have arms?

Karate kicks are awesome. But that’s a hard fight without arms.

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Originally Posted by Brownski

I lost track. Somebody remind me. Twelve people voted that they could take a gorilla. Stealsurface admitted to being one of them and made his case. Do we know who else and what their thinking is?

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incorrect. i never said i could take a gorilla. i said--and maintain--that i could take a 120lb chimpanzee if given flakka.

Who has the advantage in any physical category? Let’s just go with the chimp instead of the gorilla because the chimp should in theory be easier.

Strength: chimp
Bite force: chimp
Agility/speed: chimp
Raw animal ferocity: chimp

Really we humans (I’m assuming most of us posting on TGR are humans, although some are possibly chimps) and only have the edge in things that take brainpower (again, questionable for your average TGR poster)

So maybe high-level martial arts folks that can use body geometry and the opponents strength against them could have an edge. Or if there were tools on the battlefield that the human could use to reduce the physical advantages of the chimp, like a spear.

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Originally Posted by Falcon3

Who has the advantage in any physical category? Let’s just go with the chimp instead of the gorilla because the chimp should in theory be easier.

Strength: chimp
Bite force: chimp
Agility/speed: chimp
Raw animal ferocity: chimp

Really we humans (I’m assuming most of us posting on TGR are humans, although some are possibly chimps) and only have the edge in things that take brainpower (again, questionable for your average TGR poster)

So maybe high-level martial arts folks that can use body geometry and the opponents strength against them could have an edge. Or if there were tools on the battlefield that the human could use to reduce the physical advantages of the chimp, like a spear.

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i did the math. it is somewhere up thread. i am stronger than a 120lb chimp.

Does unarmed include shedding COVID?

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Originally Posted by jono

Why don't all threads start by asking what the idiots think?

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All poll threads start by asking what the idiots think.

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Originally Posted by ZomblibulaX

All threads start by asking what the idiots think.

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FIFY


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Originally Posted by stealurface831

FIFY


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Here you go:

https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/...ss+speculation

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Originally Posted by stealurface831

incorrect. i never said i could take a gorilla. i said--and maintain--that i could take a 120lb chimpanzee if given flakka.

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I stand corrected. Apologies. And I stand by my “the chimp would eat your face off” conclusion.

What about a Buffalo?

Would that require Flakka and/or pcp ?

PCP Buffalo doesn't quite have the ring to it like Cocaine Bear.

i have no intention of ever going toe to toe with a buffalo/water buffalo/bison, no matter the drug or dosage.

the real question is who can defeat MTT's furnace.

Head to head, on land. Buffalo or water buffalo, who do you like?

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Originally Posted by ötzi

Head to head, on land. Buffalo or water buffalo, who do you like?

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buffalo or bison?

I know someone who worked on a movie that featured a buffalo for some key scenes, he said the the wrangler kept it calm by continuously feeding it oreo cookies.

It would work for me, too.

I think now is an appropriate moment, if any, to kindly ask that we all take a second to remember #Harambe.

And maybe Macho Man Randy Savage too.

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Originally Posted by stealurface831

buffalo or bison?

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Beefalo. There's no purebred North American Bison anymore.

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Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

I think now is an appropriate moment, if any, to kindly ask that we all take a second to remember #Harambe.

And maybe Macho Man Randy Savage too.

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https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/p...s/pou_7153.png

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I think that most people when attacked switch into flight/protect mode and that doesnt work against a wild animal in a rage trying to kill you. You cant ropeadope a wild animal.

But being able to "flip the switch" (think on PCP uncontrollable rage) and fight back with the intention to mash the opponent into a fucking pulp gives the bigger animal quite the advantage. So, a 180lb fit male human should be able to come out the winner against a 120lb chimp (not unscathed, but the winner). The biggest disadvantage humans have is our super fragile skin, and our hands and teeth being pretty shitty for ripping, cutting and tearing... so we should be able to smash, choke, grab & break limbs etc as long as the flesh wounds received in the process arent too serious.


So, im pretty sure i could take on any chimp under 120lbs without dying first. Odds get much sketchier and top weight gets lower when we start talking about animals with sharp teeth and claws who are natural predators who instinctively kill as efficiently as possible.

That 120 lb chimp will eat your face.