Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

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08-13-2021, 09:37 PM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

I think they swing their necks and hit with the skull. That's a lot of muscle and velocity.

I'm (reasonably) afraid of giraffe headbutts.

while those neck swings would be devastating if hit, i don't know that they would be able to easily swing that low.
08-13-2021, 09:41 PM
pfluffenmeister

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

this is why i have opted for flakka instead. there are many accounts of users displaying "superhuman strength".

AKA regular chimp strength.
08-13-2021, 09:41 PM
jono

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

while those neck swings would be devastating if hit, i don't know that they would be able to easily swing that low.

They drink from the river. I think they could manage if they saw you coming at them with a bat.
08-13-2021, 09:45 PM
stealurface831

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jono

They drink from the river. I think they could manage if they saw you coming at them with a bat.

they drink by doing this:
Attachment 382221
08-13-2021, 09:46 PM
JayPowHound

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

while those neck swings would be devastating if hit, i don't know that they would be able to easily swing that low.

Fair enough, seems with low attackers they utilize the legs. Legs that are long and strong enough to kick off a big male Lion.

Going for the neck seems to be the appropriate strategy.
08-13-2021, 09:49 PM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

Fair enough, seems with low attackers they utilize the legs. Legs that are long and strong enough to kick off a big male Lion.

Going for the neck seems to be the appropriate strategy.

i can't find any video but apparently some have decapitated lions with their kicks.
08-13-2021, 09:58 PM
JayPowHound

Fixed the post with video. Seems like the only way to avoid the strong ass legs is a sneak attack at the head/upper neck with a quick takedown.

Not sure the Olympic high jump champ can get up there for the choke out, let alone us plebs.

GL
08-13-2021, 10:01 PM
jono

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

they drink by doing this:
Attachment 382221

Dude, you're like 6 ft taller than that water. He's got all his options available. If you lay down he stomps you.

What is the plan?
08-13-2021, 10:02 PM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by jono

Dude, you're like 6 ft taller than that water. He's got all his options available. If you lay down he stomps you.

What is the plan?

i have no plan. i am not fighting a giraffe. even with a bat.
08-13-2021, 10:02 PM
JimmyCarter

Quote:

Originally Posted by bendtheski

Piranha and electric eels, and sharks with frickin’ lasers attached to their heads.

I’ve been waiting for a chance to recycle this:

Attachment 382219

Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Has no one mentioned whelks yet?
08-13-2021, 10:05 PM
jono

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

i have no plan. i am not fighting a giraffe. even with a bat.

Makes sense. Of all the animals mentioned I think the two hardest to engage might be the giraffe and the honey badger--cause he don't give a fuck, why bother?
08-13-2021, 10:10 PM
abraham

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Has no one mentioned whelks yet?

We're not trying to drown the kid. The goose might drown him though.
08-13-2021, 10:23 PM
JayPowHound

I admittedly got sucked into a giraffe youtube hole.. but it delivered this:

Content is irrelevant, the announcers voice is incredible. Do you think he talks this way all day, or does he save it for work?

Is this a failed radio host?.

I wonder if he has a podcast...
08-13-2021, 10:49 PM
jono

That's amazingly on point for this thread. The deadly voice over while the giraffes gently nudge each other in the neck is great, but I have to give finest moment to "Salvador Dali."

That's a channel, right?
08-13-2021, 10:55 PM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

I admittedly got sucked into a giraffe youtube hole.. but it delivered this:

Content is irrelevant, the announcers voice is incredible. Do you think he talks this way all day, or does he save it for work?

Is this a failed radio host?.

I wonder if he has a podcast...

that guy is a meme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zyg0CakB4cA
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/numbe...lowed-to-smoke
08-13-2021, 11:52 PM
Skidog

Flakka huh? I wonder if you might consider the crocodile....that shit seems spacey.

Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using TGR Forums mobile app
08-13-2021, 11:59 PM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skidog

Flakka huh? I wonder if you might consider the crocodile....that shit seems spacey.

Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using TGR Forums mobile app

i would rather the chimp kill me than the drug i am taking to beat the chimp. i don't think krokodil would help me too much anyway. it acts as a sedative.
08-14-2021, 12:54 AM
subtle plague

Stick with the fkakka, but don't forget to double up with meth.
08-14-2021, 05:08 AM
riser4

Quote:

Originally Posted by stealurface831

this is why i have opted for flakka instead. there are many accounts of users displaying "superhuman strength".

Why just one?
08-14-2021, 05:11 AM
riser4

Quote:

Originally Posted by ötzi

Yeah neither have I.

Poser.
08-14-2021, 10:33 AM
TahoeJ

Only chance to take down a giraffe is to break one of its legs... which would probably be difficult to do even if it just stood there and let you try. How many chimps would it take to beat a giraffe? How many chimps on flakka?
08-14-2021, 10:45 AM
subtle plague

Quote:

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

How many chimps on flakka?

That depends on whether SuF is allowed to train them in baseball bat fighting techniques and / or flakka use.
08-14-2021, 11:35 AM
stealurface831

Quote:

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

ow many chimps would it take to beat a giraffe? How many chimps on flakka?

i'm gonna say 20-25 non-flakka'd chimps. subtract 8 or so if given flakka.

Quote:

Originally Posted by subtle plague

That depends on whether SuF is allowed to train them in baseball bat fighting techniques and / or flakka use.

i don't think bats would make much difference. chimps don't have the range of motion to effectively swing a bat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swm8W7n5nfs
08-14-2021, 11:44 AM
smartyiak

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayPowHound

Fixed the post with video. Seems like the only way to avoid the strong ass legs is a sneak attack at the head/upper neck with a quick takedown.

Not sure the Olympic high jump champ can get up there for the choke out, let alone us plebs.

GL

If it’s the women’s champ (or pole vault gold) I’m 100% watching!

Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums
08-14-2021, 02:43 PM
Core Shot

Fucking pussys

Give me a bat and I can kneecap that giraffe

Long spindly legs. Easy target

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