I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

my dad has been hanging ping pong balls in the garage for years and my mom still runs into the garage opening

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

Any suggestions for if you're backing into the garage?
(Driving jong here. Had my licence just over a year now).

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You're probably too young to have gotten married.

They make a chock thing you can bolt down in the perfect spot to stop the tire...

I wish...on the young part.
Geezer foh life, yo!
Married twice, fwtw.

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

They make a chock thing you can bolt down in the perfect spot to stop the tire...

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If you can hit the chock each time sure. I believe this is the problem.

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Originally Posted by jackstraw

Wedding rings. Do you wear one? What a complete waste of money.

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Yeah I'm with you, I've never had one.

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Originally Posted by TurxSki

I wish...on the young part.
Geezer foh life, yo!
Married twice, fwtw.

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How the fuck did you only just get a driver's licence but have been married twice?

Last summer I was away and my wife wanted to use my car since hers was going in the shop. (I must've mentioned the FREE LOANERS the dealership where her car was has at least 10 times, to no avail). The car is low. Not radically low but lower than stock. You can't pull right up to a curb or parking lot divider without hitting it. She knows this, since the last time she used the car she did just that and it cost $1100.00 to get it fixed. Still, she wants to use my car and what can I say? I'm not even there. You gotta have faith, right? I tell her about the car being low about 5 more times for good measure.

Texts:

Her: Okay I droppped my car and ubered home I'm gonna take your car.
Me: Okay, just remember what I said - it's low and watch out for curbs and speed bumps and stuff or you'll hit them.
Her: LOL!!! Of course. I learned my lesson!

Eleven minutes later. (Literally, eleven minutes.)

Her: Ooops.

^ Gold.

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

They make a chock thing you can bolt down in the perfect spot to stop the tire...

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Good advice for backing boats and trailers up to a designated spot as well.

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My wife has her car, and I have mine. Nuff said

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My buddy says:
“Jill is not car aware”

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Originally Posted by El Chupacabra

And use your wife as a spotter only if there is absolutely no one else available.

No matter how many times I explain exactly what I want for spotting instructions, she never does it. It's always just "keep going, plenty of room, you've got like 6 feet" - all while looking at her phone - and then suddenly, "STOP!!!"

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Similar to asking for help when I'm up a ladder to hand me tools, footing the ladder etc. I ask for a tool and she needs to either come back from wherever she wandered to and ask what I asked for or the ladder starts tipping since shes not paying attention.

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Originally Posted by iceman

Last summer I was away and my wife wanted to use my car since hers was going in the shop. (I must've mentioned the FREE LOANERS the dealership where her car was has at least 10 times, to no avail). The car is low. Not radically low but lower than stock. You can't pull right up to a curb or parking lot divider without hitting it. She knows this, since the last time she used the car she did just that and it cost $1100.00 to get it fixed. Still, she wants to use my car and what can I say? I'm not even there. You gotta have faith, right? I tell her about the car being low about 5 more times for good measure.

Texts:

Her: Okay I droppped my car and ubered home I'm gonna take your car.
Me: Okay, just remember what I said - it's low and watch out for curbs and speed bumps and stuff or you'll hit them.
Her: LOL!!! Of course. I learned my lesson!

Eleven minutes later. (Literally, eleven minutes.)

Her: Ooops.

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didn't your wife pay for your car?

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Originally Posted by krp8128

didn't your wife pay for your car?

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Lol

'Accidentally' take both sets of keys next time.

Sorry honey I was a bonehead.


You're welcome.

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Originally Posted by krp8128

didn't your wife pay for your car?

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No that was your wife.

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Originally Posted by jackstraw

Wedding rings. Do you wear one? What a complete waste of money.

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rarely wear the original one - it's kinda nice & with kids I'm always washing hands, so I prefer the $5 band I found at an art fair.

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Originally Posted by My Pet Powder Goat

Come for the poo-slinging, Save a fortune on a plumber.

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I've never had a sig, but now I have one. thanks. perfect.

i keep referring to my wife as ‘my wife’ to people that know her by her first name. it’s douchey as shit and i’ve been catching myself a few times a week.

i blame my wife

My wife's hockey team is the Mother Puckers. Prolly wrong thread, but whatever.

My wife is on point with almost everything in life, an airhead sounds nice actually. I can't get away with anything.

I know right?

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Originally Posted by muted

My wife is on point with almost everything in life, an airhead sounds nice actually. I can't get away with anything.

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Holy shit. Sounds like we're married to the same person. :D

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Originally Posted by muted

My wife is on point with almost everything in life, an airhead sounds nice actually. I can't get away with anything.

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Same. So organized its not funny. Half German therefore Ordnungsliebe

Unfortunately this means 'we' are the airheads in the relationship....

OhMaGodIknowRight

srsly

We're just eye candy.

True dat.

I’m so much moar than just a hot piece of ass.

I know. I feel like I'm just an accessory.

The big dick paired with some ridiculously good looks is a blessing and a curse, amiright guys?!

#feelmypain

Buncha trophy husbands in here.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

I get the feeling Skifishbum has a pretty good trophy husband gig going.


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Originally Posted by shroom

i keep referring to my wife as ‘my wife’ to people that know her by her first name. it’s douchey as shit and i’ve been catching myself a few times a week.

i blame my wife

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maybe start referring to her as "my old lady" instead.

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Originally Posted by neufox47

I get the feeling Skifishbum has a pretty good trophy husband gig going.


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Fo sho. I'm jelly

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Re: the chock bolted to the garage floor idea, that's great and all, but I don't want a giant fucking chock that spans the full fucking width of the garage (serving as a huge obstruction/tripping hazard) since the wife cannot figure out how to line up the car horizontally.

Actually had to threaten to revoke garage privileges to her at one point. Sounds super dickish, sorry, but I got tired of her literally running the car into the cabinets on the side of the garage (ripped the doors off the cabinets once or twice), or whipping her car doors open into my car parked next to it and dinging the shit out of my doors. Told her I'd move her car back outside each time I found it in the garage, or park my car in the center of the garage, or put the 3rd beater car in the garage instead. We lived in MT at the time, and the thought of scraping windshields on a cold car every winter morning was enough of a deterrent.

Frustrated it had to get to that point, but she got a lot better and paid a lot more attention after that.

Also regarding those portable power banks for jump starting...how do those hold up when stored in cars? Temperature extremes sap battery life, just wonder if it'd be useless after sitting in the cold or heat.

I have a big portable jumper, but I keep it in my garage for that reason. Which doesn't do me any good if my battery dies away from the house.