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Sitting at my desk working away yesterday when the coffee hit the colon. Ran to the washroom and barely got seated when it all rushed out in a single blast. I'd always wondered how shit got on the sides and underside of the seat... now I know.
The thing is I was working from home. A quick wipe with the brush and a match later and nobody would be the wiser.
Its called a 'blast radius' for a reason.Quote:
Originally Posted by hafilax
Slaying...
You wipe your ass with a brush? Aggressive.Quote:
Originally Posted by hafilax
this page has endless laughs...
anyone ever visited a porta-shitter during/after a triathlon? trust me avoid at all costs...the mix of electrolite gu/gels, powerbars, powdered drinks, sweat and sun is too much to be contained. add into the mix that their will-be-shitters are wearing hard to escape clothes/wet from the swim and are literally racing against the clock and you have a nasty combo...beware of race day porta-shitters, beware
And here I was thinking about the dangers of searing your sphinchter with a match.Quote:
Originally Posted by Adolf Allerbush
Hell yes... ran Hood to Coast a half dozen times... the porta potties are fckin savage after a few hours.Quote:
Originally Posted by grateful2ski
Time for me to 'fess up.
Shitting and skiing related:
Towards the end of last season I had an operation for a Hiatus Hernia, all went well, but the surgeon did warn me that for some people there could be an adjustment period when one's workings could be "windy" as he put it.
In my case...no kidding!
So we stop at a mountain restaurant for lunch, and at the end of the meal...I have to go, I mean I HAVE TO GO!
The men's room is just that, a room. Just one. Enclosed. No window. Just a fan. The fan does not work.
I do what I have to do. A lot of it, with wind. Wet and wild.
Did I mention the wind?
Even I was aware that this was obnoxiously windy.
Someone is trying the door...giving me the hurry-up. There is nothing I can do...there is unfinished business. They will just have to wait.
All good things must pass, and eventually I finish.
I open the door to the unventilated, enclosed, men's room. A little kid is waiting with his dad. His dad mutters something along the lines of "about time" and the kid is holding himself in the way that a busting-for-a pee kid does.
They enter the room.....
OH MY GOD! says the dad.
DAAAAD! I CAN'T GO IN THERE! says the kid.
They exit the room. At speed.
Then a wail from the kid......
Daddy I've weeded in my pants!
I left the building, not sure if I was proud or ashamed
^^^^^bwahahahaha!!!!!
nice work. be proud.
My work poops take place in Port-o-sans, so they are pretty much SLAY3D before I ever set foot in them.
I have gone so far as wearing a half face respirator with charcoal filter to enter one.
So my work has small restrooms: one stall, one urinal, no fan. I go in there a while back to punish said toilet with a proper beer shit. Mid-way through this BM a co-worker makes the ill-fated decision to start to walk in. Door only opened 6", co-worker exclaims "Oh Jesus!" loudly. Turns around a leaves without coming in.
I fucking laughed my ass of in that tiny stall for the remainder of that deuce drop.
this thread is full of win.
I am in the action of "Lmao"-ing right now
You're welcome for the bump.
Was reading some of this after linking to it from the "TGR Threads you must read before you die" thread.
It made me think of this stall door sign at the men's restroom at the Kilauea Lighthouse in Kauai.
http://i368.photobucket.com/albums/o...NewImage-1.jpg
Unfortunately, I failed to heed the advice on the sign. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say - it was heinous!
Pizza and a growler of beer last night + New ski porn from Getboards =:biggrin:
Remembering you're lactose intolerant in the morning = Crap
Someone call in FEMA for what I just did to that toilet
Got a "jesus christ" out of an investment banker in the next stall this morning. Good, hoppy beer shits get 'em every time.
Oh man.
some of the people i work with are barely 1 step above monkeys. Some of the stuff that goes on in the bathroom is fucked.
Yesterday I needed to dump and before I even opened the bathroom door I could tell something was terribly wrong. I went to my usual stall and the toilet was over half full with shit. no water, just shit. Who goes into a stall and shits on shit when there are 2 other perfectly good stalls. Later that day the janitor finally sacked, put on a big rubber glove and reached in to try and dislodge whatever was in there. Turned out to be a styrofoam cup full of screws.
dunno why someone tries to flush a cup of screws.
To clog a toilet obviously.Quote:
Originally Posted by wicked_sick
I was doing some work a few years back in a small community in central BC called Boston Bar. There is a large Native band there, and this one seems to have a pretty bad alchohol abuse problem.
Walked into the bathroom of the gas station we were working at, and was horrified by what i saw. I was warned of the impending disaster by the scent that wafted out door as I entered. Opened a stall to see a toilet that had obviously clogged. That didn't stop anything. People had continued to shit in the toilet until it was full. Full. Mounded up out of the bowl. Then they shat on the seat. More than once. And then the top of the bowl. Several times. On the toilet paper roll. Some sick person had even smeared it on the walls of the stall.
They even managed to shit in the garbage can.
I told the manager that he should look at what had taken place. He sent some kid from behind the cash register to check it out. I apoligized to him for what i had found.
It looked like the public bathroom from Candyman, only i could smell it.
Ptavv on a powder day. To his credit, there was a line for the good stall, but still......Quote:
Originally Posted by wicked_sick
It's a problem shared by most rural bands, sadly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Caucasian Asian
Yeah, the summer i spent in the Nass Valley really opened my eyes to how bad things are. The only mornings that I didn't pass somebody walking home from the drunk tank were the mornings after a tribal feast. And those days i'd pass six or seven people stumbling home.
Oh man, thanks for bringing this back to the top. Never gets old!
I think one of the worst things about portapottys is when they're fresh... you know - the surface of the water below is smooth like a lake on a calm day. Dropping a deuce into that only assures your ass will be blue with whatever splashes up... though I've found a partial solution, drop a few free cowboy hats from the dispenser down there. Then you're dropping onto paper - no splash. Win.Quote:
Originally Posted by Helldawg
^^^^^
If there's time, I do that in regular bathrooms when I know things are going to get violent and there'll be a good chance of splashback. Nothing worse than having to wiped down the WHOLE undercarriage because of splashback.
I don't have mad skills, yet I amaze even myself, with the amount of my game that is above the rim!
Pre-emptive flushing solves that problem, its all in the timing. Gotta pinch and release into the whitewater rapids rushing into the hole. Doubles up nicely as a courtesy flush, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Herr Doktor