whats wrong with a watch ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWp6hZ-5ndc
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whats wrong with a watch ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWp6hZ-5ndc
Dildo therapy is where it's at. What are the s(l)ide effects?
Calling your Doctor Peggy?
DependsQuote:
Originally Posted by tellybele
Lulz
Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums
Just checkin' in with ya Buzz. Looks like the weather has been a bit gross out here and I know that's a challenge.
One think I was thinking about was that not only did it take true courage to start this thread, it looks to me like that kinda got the ball rolling in a positive direction around here. It provided a bit of context around life just generally being a challenge and enabled people to talk about it.
As much as we are just a bunch of fucksticks talking 'bout nothing, this place is primarily good people just keepin' on keepin' on. It works better when we are real. I have a lot of respect for those that share a bit of themselves versus perpetrating a front.
Word up^. Hope things are good mister.
Well said foggy
I lost my dad when I was 27. It’s been 27 years and I miss him every single day in my life. Any success I’ve had is tempered by the thoughts of he would have been proud of me. I didn’t get a chance to show him the best version of me and it hurts every day. My Mom passed from a heart attack 7yrs ago. I was fortunate she saw some of my successes but still have regrets.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
Your kids need you to grow old so they can tell you “I told you so.” or I’m sorry I was an out of control dumbass.
Generational trauma is a real thing. Consider your offspring you can enriched their lives even if they aren’t paying attention.
Chiming in late, but I can tell you from experience, quit drinking if you do. It'll start to provide moments of unfcked clarity. Vibes mang, hope you're hanging in there.
Also, I have an elephant for sale, cheap, reasonably well behaved. That might give you new found meaning?
I’m always happier to help others than myself. Maybe in some way that is me helping myself, by helping others. I’m trying to stay busy. Working more than I should. Planned two outings only to end up covering for sick employees both times. Trying again Tuesday for Snowbasin. Looking sunny even.Quote:
Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles
Talked to another therapist. Didn’t really help as I’m just telling the same story over and over. Talked to the U. Saving up for Ketamine. It’s not remotely cheap.
I have no desire to get drunk. Maybe I’m finally past that stage of life. I’ll always be a stoner. However with the lack of joy from anything, I’m not even smoking much. I’m clearly still in a rut. It’s very difficult to put myself out there. I’m very very embarrassed still. I want to take you guys up on your offers through your PMs to me. I do. I just need for me to feel right or better a bit before I can. It’s exhausting to deal with these feelings and continue forward. Add in talking about all of this with others and man, I’m out of all energy. So I sit there numb. I kinda feel like a walking zombie. But when I get lots of rest my mind takes over again and any progress I felt I’ve made is gone to the brain spiders. They rested and are ready to fuck shit up again.
I’ve made it out to a mags house and talked a little face to face in his garage.Thank you sir, that really helped me get over the initial hump of not wanting to show my face since I started this thread.
All of your PMs are still there for me to respond to. This is just fucking hard. But I will. I’m trying.
At least right now I don’t feel a need to drastically end my life. I have so many of you to thank for that.
I didn't realize you were in Utah. Snowbasin should help.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
Have you considered moving away from Utah? That place sucks balls when there's an inversion in the winter. Can't be good for mental health. Also, do you still like the things that brought you to Utah?
Go to Wendover and buy a hooker.
You may not feel like you've made much progress but this right here:
Shows you've made massive progress since you started this thread. So, fuck yeah man, keep on keeping on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
We finally got out of some dreary weather where I'm at and man, going out and throwing a frisbee for the pup in the sun for 20min the last couple evenings sure has helped my disposition.
I hate to play the guilt card but I've seen, in multiple cases intimately, how utter and completely suicide of parent completely fucks up children of any age permanently. It's like all the good years are completely erased and these people and their relationships going forward are fucked for life.Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperChief
So if you want to fuck your kids for life, at least know that is exactly what you would be doing. Even the natural death of a parent is traumatizing, but suicide has a completely different wave signature.
That being said, any step you make, be that walking outside and enjoying some quiet, or picking up the phone, is a step forward, and I hope you have millions more left in you.
This is good stuff Buzz. It's fucking hard and you can't really rush it, you have to go at the pace you can manage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
This thread is awesome in a way. Lots of people sharing lots of stuff, we're not alone, we all struggle, most of us anyway. Community and commiseration help, even on the other side of the screen.
Damn am I happy to hear that Buzz. I live a long ways from Utah and until I get my shit together and start doing the mag meetups I'm pretty unlikely to ever meet you. Still for some reason after reading your post I found myself sitting on the couch next to my dog with tears in my eyes. I'm incredibly happy you are feeling better and I really hope it continues.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
I also hope I can get my shit together in the next five minutes before my wife gets home and asks "why are you crying?" Keep on keeping on man and good luck getting out for a ski this spring!!
You wana talk about trauma both my parents came of age in the active war zones of WW II, my father in the battle of Britain my mother in occupied Singapore and it fucked them up pretty good which in turn fucked me up but less so and my kids less than thatQuote:
Originally Posted by SuperChief
Keep on keepin' on man. This thread is hard to read for me personally so apologies, I haven't read every page. Glad you're still here.
Maybe this was mentioned/asked before, but do you happen to be taking Singulair? Some people do not do mentally well while on it, like at all, as it can trigger suicidal thoughts, depression, nightmares, feelings of void and other bad shit out of nowhere, hence the black box warning. Again, apologies if this was already covered.
Generational unfuckery….good jobQuote:
Originally Posted by XXX-er
Buzz give yourself some credit, you’ve made progress and it obviously won’t change over night. Keep hope alive and go easy on yourself. You’re making progress in the right direction.
No reason to be ashamed or embarrassed (easier said obviously).
Yeah— shame is a hard one. That’s why we pop in. We get it.
Thanks for the update.
And give us a ring. We’re not you. But we’re like you.
Really glad to hear this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzworthy
Appreciate you chiming in Buzz. I’m just another internet kook but I think this thread is helpful to a lot of us too so thanks.
Buzz - you know I love you, just not so good at posting on this thread. Let's ski basin next week. And drink some non-alcoholic beers.
Sent from my Pixel 8 Pro using Tapatalk
Yo Buzz, I can imagine how discouraging it could be to talk to a therapist who you don't connect with. If you can, keep trying different ones until you find the one who clicks with you.
And thanks for the update
Guinness 0.0. I admit I didn't like it when I had it for the first time in a bar. I've found that at home I like it.Quote:
Originally Posted by tgapp
Meh see my review in the NA beer thread. It's fine. Untitled Art and Sam Adams are still the best in the game IMO, with Athletic somewhere behind them.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser4
Sent from my Pixel 8 Pro using Tapatalk
“So I took my medication and I poured my trauma out
On some sad-eyed middle aged man's overpriced new leather couch
And we argued about Jesus, finally found some middle ground
I said "I'm cured"
And I divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts
Keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart
I'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them
But it's a start”
Noah Kahan “Growing Sideways” hits it on the head for me.
Learning of and researching the Adverse Childhood Study longitudinal study by the CDC and Kaiser Perm. really helped me eventually turn some corners. I wouldn’t take the test unless I was ready to tap into memories and events that have probably long been compartmentalized.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-...nd-doesnt-mean
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?h...es&oq=adverse+
For me, the immediate response was not positive after learning of and taking several different iterations and getting the same score. In fact I was exposed to the test cold before knowing about the study or the purpose; that was a hard day to go back to work.
A very common response from high ACEs kids and childhood trauma in general is to grow to become a “helper” at least this is what my therapist tells me why I do the work I do and volunteer for fun.
Me and the fam watched the Mr. Roger’s movie last week. There are a couple of really great scenes when Fred reminds the protagonist that he is who he is in part because of his trauma and Fred likes him just how he is. Also, Mr. Rogers’ classic, “if it’s mentionable it’s solvable.” Fuck this world needs a new Mr. Rogers again and they need to be on YouTube!!
Ps. Buzz, regarding the PMs. In due time and when and if it suits you. They weren’t sent to make an obligation for you. They are to give and not take.
Nothing much to add here buzz, other than one day at a time man. You're not alone.
I heard that song for the first time as I was going through my divorce and it hit me hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hood26
I forgot to mention growing up in the deperession followed by moving back to Britain cuz there was nothing to eat on the canadian praire, then getting beat up every day by english school boys, he developed an english accent till the day he died even tho he was from saskatchewan, then out all night during the bombings putting out naplam fires, building Spitfires and then being shipped off to war.Quote:
Originally Posted by Trackhead
my mother watch the japanese take her American father away
They had it so rough so all one can do is on the one hand I cut them slack but acknowledge I'm fucked up in ways too complex to imagine
Generational Trauma: ^^^
Imagine being Alaskan/Canadian/American native.
They got fucked hard and continue to suffer for it. Spiraling �� for what seems like forever.
Yeah, our upbringing’s can shape us, for better or worse.
My dad had an issue with alcohol. He was a bit of a tyrant. I learned after he died that his crazy ass mom tied his ass to a tree and left him there as a kid. Can’t imagine why he was an angry drunk.
That shit rolls downhill. It’s hard to get out of the way. His drinking left an impression on me and I swore I’d never be like that, and I haven’t. Never drink, can’t stand being around people who do. See enough of it at work.
Hey Buzz, I really hope this doesn't come off as preachy or anything. I've been wanting to post this for a few days and keep deleting it because I don't want it to come off that way but here goes.
Are you getting much physical activity?
Personally I've been pretty 'low' lately. Have been unemployed for too long. Had a few good prospects lined up and I've watched them fizzle out, one by one. It's getting tough.
This winter I got a bike trainer set up. Was a great decision especially given how bad our alpine and nordic ski season has been.
Been using the trainer pretty much every day. Up until a couple weeks ago when the family all got a nasty cold. I never had any cold symptoms other than really low energy so either I had a mild version or I was fighting it off.
During that time I was off the trainer and not doing anything remotely physical for three days. During those three days my mind went to some very dark places, including thoughts of suicide. Back on the trainer lots and my mind set has improved.
I know we're all different and have different triggers and responses but I just wanted to share that with you.
I just wanna chime in on the always helping others, and sacrificing yourself for benefit of others. It's good to help others, but you've got to stick up for yourself. Meaning, if you got a ski day scheduled, that's important. Gotta do it. If someone else is out, let someone else do it. Don't always be that guy. Help when you can, but give yourself priority as well. Nobody else will...
I've seen it with my wife to a degree and definitely with my mother in law. Sacrifice themselves all the time for others and have resentment towards others as a result. But they would never admit it.
Take the step to get something good for you on the schedule, and stick to it.
Skiing has been good lately ... Get some.
Keep on keeping on people.
Edit, if your skis or board need a wax, bring it over, we can chill in the garage and get it done. Will get you stoked to ski! Same with a bike, if you need a tune up, bring it by. Aves here.
Buzz and anyone else near, I'm at the beav Sunday -wed. Buzz I've got a comp pass for you. It'll be snowing and good vibes
Glad you checked in buzz, keep going.
Hey buzz you’re doing great mang, one day at a time small steps, deep breaths , we’re here with ya , feel the love.
Snowbasin Tuesday. I have to pick up my pass. It’s going to be sunny and I’m going to ski. I’m slow and I have no ski legs. Not sure how long I’ll last. But I’m going to have a smile on my face. That’s what matters.
If there’s a TFW needing a ride I owe ya a good talk on the way. Tgapp, wanna enjoy some Gondi views? And any other mags that are out and about, I’d love to ski ya.
Work can be closed for all I care. I need the exercise. Period.
Also now that I’ve hit the ❤️ on every single one of all of your posts.
And to those out there feeling my words, keep fighting too. You’re important to so many people and you too can fight the spiders. You’re important to you.