Really, only a complete gaper thinks someone else is a gaper because of what they're wearing or skiing on.Quote:
Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn
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Really, only a complete gaper thinks someone else is a gaper because of what they're wearing or skiing on.Quote:
Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn
get a lotta q's asking if you can really ski fakie on twins.
Then stop fucking skiing them.Quote:
Originally Posted by WALKER TEXAS RANGER
..................WTF?
Kidding!Quote:
Originally Posted by WALKER TEXAS RANGER
at the Beav today, someone asked DaHeel if he had a snorkel.....he was wearing his avalung pack.
As well it shall be mine, "BEGIN", BEGIN DAME YOU !!!!!!! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by KungFu Eddie
Variation on the Mogul Question. Some New Yorker asks his friend "How do the snow cats groom diffrent style moguls and are they the same ones that make cordouroy?" His friend didn't even answer.
I was laughing too hard to try to make a smart ass comment.
Two gapers go skiing in 80's ski suits and rear entry boots and at the end of the day in the parking lot I hear the woman say, "Honey, is this our car?"
Also another one, we're at Magic on 3/1 with 19 inches of new snow and at the top of the red chair we're cutting GS turns down and this gaper lady flags us down and asks, "Are you guys headed to the magic carpet?"
Old guy gets on the chair with me, he has a huge grin on his face as it is a beautiful day out, and just before he starts talking to me I noticed the "80 year-old skiers club" sticker on his helmet. Badass.
Then, he throws this at me, with a hearty old man laugh:
"I wonder what poor people are doing today, eh? Probably waiting in life for their welfare check!"
He starts laughing his ass off and I have no idea how to respond. I couldn't figure out if he was actually making fun of poor people, or if I missed some joke and just got owned by an old guy. He spent the rest of the lift ride telling me war stories.
At least he got the memo about not using racial slurs on the chair lift...:nonono2:Quote:
Originally Posted by dipstik
I believe you just got jonged, ON the ski lift no less.Quote:
Originally Posted by xksrx
JONG joins TGR then posts about making super gnar GS turns at Magic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth
Oh wait, that was you..........................
Breckenridge used to make bump lines for the world cup every year, when they had the event on Pk 9. They used a cat going up at an angle then went up again at the opposite angle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laxsnowskisquatch
I've been told they do this at Okemo too.Quote:
Originally Posted by KillingCokes
NOt a quote, but gapers always seem to bring bottle water with them to the mountains like their getting ready for a nuclear war or something. I work at a hotel in squaw and we have some of the best water in the country from the tap out of artisian wells no chemicles added and gapers still insists of bringing cases of evian, and aquafina. Waste of plastic.
i hear that, people bug out when they come up from nj to vt and i tell them the cabin gets water from a well, it is really good.Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Boz
they look at me funny and go straight for the poland spring.
At Squatters, SLC:
Me: "Good weekend to pick to come out to Utah."
Gaper: "It's not bad, kinda cold."
Me: "Yeah, it's chillier than it's been. Where have you been skiing?"
Gaper: "Deer Valley. What's the local's picks around there?"
Me: "At DV? uhhhhh, I hear the trees stay pretty good. I never ski there."
Gaper: "Why not? Where do you ski?"
Me: "LCC....Alta and Snowbird"
Gaper: "I don't get it. Everybody always talks about Snowbird. I went there once, and it f*cking sucked. They don't groom sh*t."
Me: "Where are you from?"
Gaper: "Connecticut."
Me: "Thanks for the beer."
Not a quote, but more something I saw happen.
Standing in like to have my ticket scanned, I catch a gaper skiing up, ticket taker asks for his ticket, he pulls up his jacket to reveal..
His ticket (a day pass) is stuck on his wicket, except unlike the traditional way to do it, he has not removed the covering one the sticky stuff, he has simply speared it through the part where hte wicket comes open, and bent it around so it doesn't come off.
The scanner dude takes a look at it and says
"Uh oh your ticket isn't on right, let me help you there"
He proceeds to put it on the right way while the gaper stands there with an ill be danged face on.
"Falling down is more fun than the skiing"
I was waiting at the bottom of the lift for the rest of my group and talking to my friend that was bumping chairs. A guy comes to get on the chair and asks what kind of skis I have. I reply dynastar mythic rider. So he asks "What are those for?". I said "Uhh skiing"
Up at Snowmass today (god why the fuck did I ski today, so many spring break asses)...lady on the chair next to me asks if I have the phone number for the grooming department, she wanted to complain that ski had to ski across ruts in the snow made by other people. I told they take Sundays off from Snowmass and only groom at Buttermilk
I witnessed this conversation between two boarders and a patroller today.
2B's: Why is the gate closed on the Knob?
P: Because there was a slide there yesterday and we have get someone over there to check the stability.
2B's: Yeah. We started the slide! We dropped the little bowl and it broke right behind us!
P: You started it? Yesterday? How big was it?
2B's: About 6 inches deep, maybe 25 yards across. Not very big. We want to go back today and kick off another one.
P: What?
2B's: We want to go back. You know, finish it up.
P: Are you serious? Do you guys even have beacons? A shovel?
2B's: Naw, man. Beacons are overrated.
P: Go ask at the patrol building, but I don't think it'll open today.
heard under the chair lift by a teenage girl at pomerelle mtn resort, ID. There was a group of about 400 baptists youth there, 95% of which were obviously first timers. " If you point these straight down the hill, you go faster"
She is correct. I tried it today. It works.Quote:
Originally Posted by JabbaTheHuck
buddy clicks in his Trekkers to start a quick skin in to where our Avy course is training when one of the women in the group asks "Are those the new Duke bindings I've heard about?"
Clearly he did not know that though. And they dont do that for every run on the mountain anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by KillingCokes
i like the beer bong tap things they serve there. good stuff.Quote:
Originally Posted by mrkristofo
This happened a few years ago--there's about a quarter mile line of cars waiting to turn into Alpine Meadows. Guy passes the whole line of cars on the wrong side of the road, forces his way into line right behind me. We turn into Alpine Meadows road, the road is solid ice. The guy passes me on a blind curve, gets into the lot about 30 seconds before me, gets out of his car and puts on a helmet. Safety first I guess.
Overheard in line and on the chair (he was one chair back) at Gad 2 Sunday.
"I've got a buddy who camps all the time"
"I've got a buddy who is an awesome rock climber."
Lots o buddies that do shit, but not him I guess.
Happy St. Patricks Day. Now go drink a beer.
I rode up with a skier and newbie snowboarder gf. She watched the skiers below turning side to side and asked bf "do you do that?" he said yes. she asked "if you go straight do you go fast?" He said yes. she then said, "Then I don't want to do that."Quote:
Originally Posted by JabbaTheHuck
I was on the peak chair at whistler yesterday and overheard a dad explaining the finer points of avalanche control to his son as we went over the bomb tram.
Kid: "Whats that dad?"
Dad: "Thats a bomb tram, they use it to place bombs in those rocks"
Kid: "How does it work?"
Dad: "Well the patroller wears a harness and hangs off the cable. He then wheels out over the rocks and he drops the bomb in. Then he wheels back quickly before it blows up".
Kid: "Wow!"
I have to say, our GS turns were super gnar as I said in my first post about it. Oh wait, I don't see anything about that....................Quote:
Originally Posted by ski3 P O
also if you are interested I was a longtime member and then my fucking account deleted itself so I had to join again
On the skate uphill portion of the Chair 9 high traverse at Loveland today passing a struggling starter jacket and he turns to me and says...
This isn't designed very well.
Almost busted a nut and fell off the traverse!
Quote:
Originally Posted by montanaskier
fixed it for you:D
Something original and pretty amusing!
Getting pretty tired of the 77 "Where do they put the moguls", and the 52 "When do the deer become elk" posts.
(and no, I have nothing useful to contribute, all skiers in NY [especially Huntah] are experts, not gapers.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yukonrider
Alright, alright. I was the Gaper this weekend. First lap EVER in Granite Canyon (endless to mile long in waist deep pow all the way down, gimped with a knee brace from a torn MCL in Jan.) Boyfriend with a cracked shoulder in arm sling insists on carrying my skis on part of the never ending side step/traverse out. Tells me to turn around and look up, Amazing sun hitting a gorgeous peak. My reaction- "Is that the GRAND?" yuk yuk.
At KT a month or so ago,
Do those fat skis make you faster in the powder?
Ahhh, they are better in the powder.
No, do they make you faster?
Lighten up Francis. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth