Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

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02-10-2008, 02:01 AM
Huck_Schmuck

Some of the posts in this thread make me laugh, you fucking tools, you're just SO much more 'core than everyone else.

Heard this one on Thursday though. A friend of mine asked me to pick her boss (40ish?) up from a small airport near here (Sion). He was arriving on his private jet. In the car this Brizilian chick (early 40s) asks the boss man:

Darling, I need to get a new ski suit, where shall I go?

Oh, go to Fellay Sports. They're the best.

(I think I'm about to crash the car! People go in this shop? I thought they used it for money laundering or something. No body under 60 should go in this shop, oh and Russians).

And what are the best makes daaarling? A friend tells me Colmar, Bognor and some other lame make I've never heard of, only it might have been Prada.

Get a Bognor, Bognor are the best.

End of conversation. I pulled over on the pretense of getting some gas. Went in to the bathroom and flushed my own head down the pan.
02-10-2008, 02:30 AM
born2ride

While working at the concierge desk at a slope side hotel in Beaver Creek on a recent powder day a guest walk up and asks (sounding disgusted) ‘when is it going to stop snowing?” He go’s on to say “my clothes are getting snowy and I can’t see a thing!!” Of course he’s sporting brand new Bogner gear.
02-10-2008, 07:42 AM
Lonnie

Quote:

Originally Posted by born2ride

While working at the concierge desk at a slope side hotel in Beaver Creek on a recent powder day a guest walk up and asks (sounding disgusted) ‘when is it going to stop snowing?”

"Umm, April or May is when it usually stops. You can't ski on sunshine..."
02-10-2008, 07:44 AM
Lonnie

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrincessGruntyPuffs

Fucker was rocking Volkl 6-Stars with powder cords.

Yesterday? HAHAHA, That's awesome....
02-10-2008, 08:00 AM
Lonnie

Quote:

Originally Posted by lionelhutz

it gets better!

I'd say it does, HOLY SHIT!!!

Quote:

For this season, the $4,400.00 Special Limited Edition Carbon Series models are only being sold internet direct and by the Demo team during their travels. They will also be available through a select group of specialty retailers later in the season. Please check back to the “Purchase” page for the developing list.

Who the fack spends $4,400 for skis?!?!?!
02-10-2008, 09:54 AM
iscariot

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonnie

I'd say it does, HOLY SHIT!!!

Who the fack spends $4,400 for skis?!?!?!

Yah...but the "expert is built into the skis." That means your actually saving money on all of the lessons you'd have to take to learn how to ski. These things make you ski like an instructor on day one. I'm definitely getting a pair.

:rolleyes:
02-10-2008, 04:58 PM
robgoose

I was very amused by the location of the video shoot....
Hint: Its the kind of place where many many gapers need skis with the expert built into the ski.
02-10-2008, 05:31 PM
mutineer

I'm not sure what this guys story was. LI accent...after a bunch of spew.
Alta last weekend.

Him: ...They're going to open the Castle I guarantee it.
Me: I don't know, it might not open today.
Him: Of course it's going to open they are bombing it now.
Me: That doesn't necessarily mean they will open it.
Him: Then why are they bombing it? Where are you from?
Me: Salt Lake.
Him: Oh you don't ski here.
Me: I ski here every week.
Him: Then why am I telling you where to ski?
Me: I don't know.

silence for the rest of the chair.
02-10-2008, 05:58 PM
lakegirl

Heard today at Lake Louise:

"Good thing I was wearing my one-piece"

by guy in sweet 80's one-piece with matching neon striped headband, after a serious yard sale in 7 cm of new snow.
02-10-2008, 06:22 PM
PrincessGruntyPuffs

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutineer

I'm not sure what this guys story was. LI accent...after a bunch of spew.
Alta last weekend.

Him: ...They're going to open the Castle I guarantee it.
Me: I don't know, it might not open today.
Him: Of course it's going to open they are bombing it now.
Me: That doesn't necessarily mean they will open it.
Him: Then why are they bombing it? Where are you from?
Me: Salt Lake.
Him: Oh you don't ski here.
Me: I ski here every week.
Him: Then why am I telling you where to ski?
Me: I don't know.

silence for the rest of the chair.

Holy shit that's hilarious!
02-10-2008, 06:24 PM
Ski Moegain

HAHHAHA
153 I am on 149
I am 13 and 5'3''
02-10-2008, 06:25 PM
PrincessGruntyPuffs

This happened to a friend of ours who works in a shop back east. Some redneck dude comes in and says:

"Do you sell any of them short skis for the trick ditch?"

It took our buddy a minute to figure out he meant Snowblades for the terrain park....
02-10-2008, 06:33 PM
khakis

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutineer

I'm not sure what this guys story was. LI accent...after a bunch of spew.
Alta last weekend.

Him: ...They're going to open the Castle I guarantee it.
Me: I don't know, it might not open today.
Him: Of course it's going to open they are bombing it now.
Me: That doesn't necessarily mean they will open it.
Him: Then why are they bombing it? Where are you from?
Me: Salt Lake.
Him: Oh you don't ski here.
Me: I ski here every week.
Him: Then why am I telling you where to ski?
Me: I don't know.

silence for the rest of the chair.

So did they open it? :FIREdevil

"trick ditch" awesome!
02-10-2008, 06:38 PM
Caucasian Asian

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrincessGruntyPuffs

This happened to a friend of ours who works in a shop back east. Some redneck dude comes in and says:

"Do you sell any of them short skis for the trick ditch?"

It took our buddy a minute to figure out he meant Snowblades for the terrain park....

I've heard that before. Only it went like "Ya'll have eny of 'em double-ended skis for thut there stunt-ditch?" As he set his spit-cup on the counter.
02-10-2008, 06:56 PM
Helldawg

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutineer

I'm not sure what this guys story was. LI accent...after a bunch of spew.
Alta last weekend.

Him: ...They're going to open the Castle I guarantee it.
Me: I don't know, it might not open today.
Him: Of course it's going to open they are bombing it now.
Me: That doesn't necessarily mean they will open it.
Him: Then why are they bombing it? Where are you from?
Me: Salt Lake.
Him: Oh you don't ski here.
Me: I ski here every week.
Him: Then why am I telling you where to ski?
Me: I don't know.

silence for the rest of the chair.

As a Long Islander, and a Gaper, I officially deem this hilarious.
02-10-2008, 07:45 PM
mutineer

I am happy to say - Yes, they did open it!!
02-10-2008, 08:48 PM
P_McPoser

^^Doesn't that make you the gaper in that story then?
02-10-2008, 09:08 PM
~mikey b

approaching the top of Buttermilk......

"Do they let you hike up the mountain with the baby in the backpack like that?"

no, dipshit - we are a figmentation of your imagination
02-10-2008, 09:44 PM
HotCarl

At Cypress this friday........"I rode that grind rail"
02-10-2008, 09:47 PM
yemntftb

Two good ones from the same kid, 2 different encounters.

1) Lift #9 Telluride - I've got my dragon slayers on, hes behind me.
Texas Gaper: "Wow, that kids got some old school skis, what the fuck, in this snow, those must be from the 70s..."
Texas Gaper: "He dude...how are those skis in the pow pow? Don't they sink?"
Me: "Actually Toby Dawsen and Jeremy Bloom ski on these, do you know who they are? Do they look like powder skis?"
Texas Gaper: "Are they skiers?, What do you mean powder skis?"

2) Later that night we were a bit intoxicated @ the sheridan and I run into the kid-
Texas Gaper: "I saw you in the lift line...this is the best mountain isn't it?"
My Buddy: "Actually, its great, but you know Jackson, Alta, they are great too, different terrain...(cut off by gaper)"
Texas Gaper: "This is the BEST, I'm a local here, my grandmother used to have a house here like 5 years ago, so I'm like a local, yeah, you obviously don't know where the good skiing is."
Me: "Every heard of bear creek?"
Texas Gaper: "Whats that?"
(We walk away) - wow that explains it all.
02-10-2008, 10:46 PM
skibumps

Red Light

Riding the chair in Breck, guy asks me "Can you turn right on red here?"

Why did he just ask me a question about driving, no matter how stupid it was, while we are skiing?

So overcome by stupidity, I could only muster one word for an answer, "Yes"

Jongalicious
02-10-2008, 10:54 PM
flyby

Snowboarding gaper to me, earlier today:
him: that cornice is deadly.
me: that's like a 10 foot drop......
him: yeah, but it's bigger than it was in recent years
me: it's pretty stable. Saw some dude jumping up and down on it earlier today
him (turns to friends): that cornice is deadly.
02-10-2008, 11:09 PM
Lonnie

Quote:

Originally Posted by iscariot

Yah...but the "expert is built into the skis." That means your actually saving money on all of the lessons you'd have to take to learn how to ski. These things make you ski like an instructor on day one. I'm definitely getting a pair.

I hope to hell I don't ski like that (I'm an instructor @ alta....)
02-19-2008, 11:20 AM
Art Shirk

Not too sure why this one made me laugh this weekend:

Goofy dude in lift line to goofy girl: "Wow, I had a hard time keeping up with you on that last run."
Goofy girl: "I know. It's my favorite run."
02-19-2008, 12:05 PM
tex1230

Heard at Flatton on Sunday:

"Why don't they groom the glades?"

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