TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

Heed the wise words of Master Floater you should young padawan. Much he has learned, much he has to teach you.

BoShek called he was in the past…..
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...px-Bo_shek.jpg

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Don't just expect to stroll into a room of nipple licking ex jet ski racing belly dancers and expect not to have to step over some baggage.

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Another gem.

definitly one of the best padded room threads ever!

http://www.crazy4tees.com/images/gang-bang.gif
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...px-Bo_shek.jpg

Tell her you refuse to have sex with her again unless she brings a cute friend along.

Later, tell her you have made plans to move in with her.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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FanFUCKINGtastic. Laughing SO hard right now.

Have fun Raps! Just watch out for her claws. Meow.

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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i just had to walk out of my office because i was laughing so hard that i was tearing up hardcore

genius. pure fucking genius.

Along the line of Rev's Idea (star wars themed).

1) Start calling your unit "the force" --> "Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

2) Start calling her muff "Chewbacca" --> "Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! Get in there and don't worry about it. "

3) pooperhausen = "The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station."

And finally,
http://inet.uni2.dk/~d186554/ralph%20wookie.wav

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Originally Posted by Lonnie

Along the line of Rev's Idea (star wars themed).

1) Start calling your unit "the force"

"Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

2) Start calling her muff "Chebacca"

"Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! Get in there and don't worry about it. "

3) pooperhausen = "The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station."

And finally,
http://inet.uni2.dk/~d186554/ralph%20wookie.wav

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Just when you think it can't get any funnier.

good lord everyone in my office thinks somethings seriously wrong with me today cuz i keep on bursting out with laughter

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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Very fine conceptual writing there, my friend.

:fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon:


peace,
D.

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Originally Posted by Raps

Ok yeah so I just woke up with her in my bed again........but this time I have pictures......

However I am going to be a tease since I am runnin out the door to go skiing.....so yeah I will be back at the end of the day to give u all some visuals....clothed of course (for now)...

But thanks for all the support, damn I love you guys....see some of you at the gondola to rip up these few inches of fresh woohooo!

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Lets get back to your integrity...you gave the mags your word!

COUGARS ARE NOT ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!

:eek:

Hey, it could be worst.

You could be with a someone that age and not getting any (oh, I might be writing in the wrong thread or not). :p

Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

popcorn....

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

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Way to go with a subtle, believable alias.:rolleyes: Do you even know what candor means?

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

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Oh, snap! :D Dude, Raps, if this isn't an alias, I'm sorry, buddy....

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

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:fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon:

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Originally Posted by Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo

Way to go with a subtle, believable alias.:rolleyes: Do you even know what candor means?

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whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid

and since he is spreading shit about me on the internet, i'll just add he wears tighty whities, BVDs

I've been expecting this alias. What took so long?

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid

and since he is spreading shit about me on the internet, i'll just add he wears tighty whities, BVDs

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Lame attempt....no donuts.

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid

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yeah, he needs to be more candid for sure. :p

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Originally Posted by AspenCougar

Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

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http://photos.imageevent.com/bluesx/...nkey-peach.jpg

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Originally Posted by f2f

http://photos.imageevent.com/bluesx/...nkey-peach.jpg

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BWHAHAHAA...

'Monkey Steals The Peach'

"followers of the Iron Hand styles immediately clench their fists tightly, with a crushing grip, and jerk the hand sharply back to the near hip, effectively ripping away the genitals. Massive blood loss causes death.

Hey AspenCougar, I single handedly prevented Raps from posting your pics all over the internet. Wouldn't you say that is worth a few bj's from you and your slutty friends?