TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

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Originally Posted by Marv Albert

Yessss!!!!!!
:yourock:

could be the first time Marv has posted 2x in one thread!

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the way this thread is going, Marv may get a 3rd chance!

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Originally Posted by divegirl

Oh god, I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!
The tears.....they're flowing!
Holy crap!! Awesome.
I may have to make this my new sig...

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Yeah, your other one has an expiration date.


Raps- you have two options.


Treat her like shit. She might like it though, and then you are screwed. Some girls, the worse you treat 'em, the more they want you. Her ex is in jail and she has a restraining order. You do the math. He didn't just turn into a criminal overnight.

or


Smother her, and never get laid in town again. Your reputation as a clingy pussy will be legendary in the cougar community, but you will be freed. Hopefully your reputation won't make it to the chicks your age. Don't count on it, though.

Looking at it this way, I think the Rev has your only answer.

Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

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why not? we ain't got anything better to do anyway. it's not like it's winter or something.

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Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

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decisions. decisions.

eeny meeny miny mo, catch a cougar by her nip, if she moans, giver mo?

... mucho mucho blow and ho.

Restraining order from ex-boyfriend? I'd be careful.... Aspen is a very small town. People find out what's going on too easily!

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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That's gold Jerry, gold!

Whatever happens, keep your composure. Stay cool. Don't forget this line..

Baby, please . . . I am not from Havana!

http://www.schnitzengruben.com/schnitzengruben.jpg

I have a feeling you're gonna need it.

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Originally Posted by Jim S

I <3 MY COUGAR

pictures

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Sorry Jim, but by definition cougars don't date middle-aged men. You're disqualified

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Originally Posted by stump832

Sorry Jim, but by definition cougars don't date middle-aged men. You're disqualified

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Oh snap, that hurts. I smell something burning: me.

Is anybody really surprised about the restraining order part? Don't just expect to stroll into a room of nipple licking ex jet ski racing belly dancers and expect not to have to step over some baggage. Keep the blinders on Raps, you've got a long way to go til mud season.

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Originally Posted by Aldo

Raps, you've got a long way to go til mud season.

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Its always "mud season" when "you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge."

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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BEST POST EVER! :yourock:

/Tears

You really want out?


Fuck her kid.

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Originally Posted by IrieRon

You really want out?


Fuck her kid.

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Have you never heard of www.momsteachingteens.com? SERIOUSLY NSFW!!!!!!

As a chick " treat em mean and keep em keen". Always!!!!

If she gets clingy be a barrrstarrd-every time, every comment. Cougars love guys that can't commit, they have spent their life failing to find one.

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Originally Posted by alpinedad

Been to? 15 or 20 years ago, I used to host them.

As a voice of reason, though... don't take pics without consent.

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Freakin lawyers!;)

How much for the couchspace presidents day weekend?

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Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater

My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

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If I could do something that cool just once in my life, I'd find some way to write a book/movie about it and retire on a beach in mexico....

fIxEd

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Originally Posted by IrieRon

You really want out?


Fuck her kidand post pics of it on MySpace and YouTube

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.
.

Will somebody save this for when Raps takes it down? I smell a big blow out coming.

Thanks.

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Originally Posted by BLOOD SWEAT STEEL

Wait a minute.

She needs a ride? As in..... she's a 46 year old single cougar living in Aspen and doesn't own a car?

Coupled with the fact that she has a restraining order against her ex boyfriend in jail - probably a real good indicator of her failure to recognize the poor choices she makes (still, at 46) in her personal relationships....

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if the fact that she banged her friend's new 24 year old roommate the first night she, actually, any of them met him doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does.

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Originally Posted by grskier

Woodsy has some wise words...

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thanks GR, as a current RFV residnet I thought you m,ight appreciate that.
A lot of people tossing advice out there dont or haven't been a 20 something male in a ski town, I gave my advice from that angle.
OF course Rev did too, and he has done it longer and better than most.
that & the fact he is a real deal superpimp that women just walk up and throw pussy at whenever i am with him...

Oh yeah, Rev!
"That's the droid I'm looking for!"

Raps, I have no sage advice for you. Just have as much fun as possible.

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Originally Posted by Raps

we did it again and then she left to wait for a furnature delivery at her house

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I wonder if the delivery boy got any?