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This morning was the first time that I had to slay it next to one of the partners. I tried to hold out until he left--even though he engaged in some serious grunt and plop. I couldn't hold on, however, and unleashed in a fury of machine gun farting and topped it off with a KAPLUNK!
Just watch the toe-tappin ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele
Yea-well one time this summer I accidently opened the stall door on the chairman of the firm. He yelled "in here" as I did it. It was funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele
That's a requirement fo the job.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tye 1on
Someone slayed the women's room so badly today that three hours later it still reeked and they actually had to close the bathroom. It was truly foul.
Yogurt (breakfast)
+ Guadalajara Espresso Burrito (lunch)
+ 1 Red Bull & Vodka
+ 5-6 PBR's
+ 1 porky treat (brat - dinner)
= next day swamp ass
Feels like my ass is running jihad on the bathroom. I feel sorry for anyone who goes in there within an hour of my last strike.
I miss furturama
That's disturbing. Do you know the culprit?Quote:
Originally Posted by wandering, not lost
'twas me. Heh heh.
Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.
ya...well whoever keeps taking an f'ing dump in the sink at my school needs to be shot
O man, today was another olymic level shit.
I was in the engineering building here at school evacuating some beer and chineese food. My eyes were watering. Half way through the ordeal someone walked into the bathroom, sniffed, coughed, almost vomit and ran out screaming "holy shit!"
I like to think God was on my side with that one
our bathrooms here at work have the power flushes, so i just hit that sucka and explode. My issue is i cant enjoy a good bowel movement with people in stalls next to me who have no shame. And it seems everyone on my floor, has no shame. They just let it flow.Quote:
Admittedly, I am having a hard time adjusting to the lack of privacy involved in my most intimate shits. I find myself primed to unleash the fury of yesterday's meals when one of my co-workers enters. I would hate to have a first and early impression of me be based on bowel leakage, etc. so I hold on and wait. Sometimes, however, they take too fucking long to wash their hands and the built up angst and muscle contractions often result in uncontrolled grunting, splashing, and odors of biblical proportions.
What is there to be ashamed of? Are you the only person in the world that has to shit? Nobody elses shit smells or has outrageous farts while taking a shit. It's the crapper, let it all hang out man and bring a friend.
Can't you shit at home before work? Moderate your schedule, man!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele
what do you call it when the shit piles up out of the water?
I am incredibly regular. Yougurt smoothie + large cup of coffee = immediate bowel movement.Quote:
Originally Posted by RootSkier
Tap, floating shits are either referred to as Hawaii or sunken ships.
this is a shit that starts in the Mariana Trench of the crapper, forms a solid coiled foundation, and extends out of the water into the airy climes, doming out Dairy Queen-like; a curled over whispy top of chocolate ass mousse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele
so what's that called?
An aquatic butt snakeQuote:
Originally Posted by Tap
An iceberg.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tap
so i gave the work bathroom a proper slaying then headed into the break room for some water. on my way back to my office, a co-worker walked into the bathroom then beat a hasty retreat in horror.
i felt proud.
Easy. Crapatoa.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tap
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater
Lol
+1
I'm not much of a slayer, but the other day I was being really quiet so know one knew it was me in there. And as the anonymous pisser left, he turned out the lights, allowing me to finish my shit in complete and udder darkness.
This is some solid work, Rev.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reverend Floater
It's gotta be pretty solid to pile up like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rontele