Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

oof. Man about a six weeks ago I was positive I was getting divorced, I even told some people about it. Wife just went crazy on me, as far as I can figure. If I could have walked out I would have but I couldn't fucking walk because my hip is fucked so I just kept my head down and tried to be civil and not fuck things up worse.

All of a sudden a couple weeks ago she turned all lovey-dovey, I honestly don't know wtf happened, I dunno if there's a lesson there since I don't understand what happened but I guess if you take care of your shit things might change? At least they won't if you don't.

If you want to stay with her do everything you can to change what needs to be changed. Go to AA, get down on your hands and knees. Prove you mean it. Make it happen.

I think I have said this once or twice in this thread, to the newest casualty of marriage. Go to Retrovaille with your wife. Can't hurt and it will likely save the marriage if you follow their training.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

oof. Man about a six weeks ago I was positive I was getting divorced, I even told some people about it. Wife just went crazy on me, as far as I can figure. If I could have walked out I would have but I couldn't fucking walk because my hip is fucked so I just kept my head down and tried to be civil and not fuck things up worse.

All of a sudden a couple weeks ago she turned all lovey-dovey, I honestly don't know wtf happened, I dunno if there's a lesson there since I don't understand what happened but I guess if you take care of your shit things might change? At least they won't if you don't.

---

Uhhhhh, how old is she? Could it be "the change?"

Yup, mine went completely 180 on me as she did not handle life change well at all. She may be fine now but you will step on a mine down the road and she goes KA BOOOM!

YMMV

Maybe I can reply without mod approval if I'm not M-series?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

oof. Man about a six weeks ago I was positive I was getting divorced, I even told some people about it. Wife just went crazy on me, as far as I can figure. If I could have walked out I would have but I couldn't fucking walk because my hip is fucked so I just kept my head down and tried to be civil and not fuck things up worse.

All of a sudden a couple weeks ago she turned all lovey-dovey, I honestly don't know wtf happened, I dunno if there's a lesson there since I don't understand what happened but I guess if you take care of your shit things might change? At least they won't if you don't.

---

Thanks for the encouragement, ice. glad to hear its working out for you guys.

Just got off the phone with the doc who helped me cut back 3 years ago. Got an appt two weeks out, says don't booze in the meantime. Fuck, that's gonna be fucking painful. Fuck. Fuck, this is rock fucking bottom. Drunk, in debt, no retirement, no house, no wife, no dog. nothing. Shit. I'm fucking 40. I'm so fucking petrified of becoming some non-drinking weirdo. What kind of thinking is that? holy fuck i've fucked this all up. Career kind of in the shits too. Shattered law practice. Again, from drinking, or at least having fucked up priorities.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KQ

Uhhhhh, how old is she? Could it be "the change?"

---

Nah that's all done. She left her job of 30 years where she was the big boss at the end of December and went full-time into the startup she and my daughter are doing, and coincidentally I broke my pelvis in December and was fairly helpless so she went from being in charge of hundreds of people to being here at home with just me on crutches and needing help.

My theory is she just kinda lost it with all the changes in her life. It's just a theory though, because when all of a sudden the switch flipped and she liked me again I decided to just go with that and not question it. Possibly a mistake because since I don't know wtf happened it might happen again any minute. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it I guess.

edit: Just saw your post UEL, maybe see if the doc will write a scrip for some xanax or valium for a few days to get through withdrawal if it's as bad as that. I drank every fucking day for like 25 years but quit that 6 years ago when we hit the last bump in the road. I still drink but at a way lower level and only if I'm not gonna be around her. I don't lie about it, I just don't drink when she's around and we don't talk about it when she's gone.

Like it seems with you alcohol was a big part of my self-image, it was really tough to change but both kids were still in high school and I couldn't take the idea of leaving them. Somewhat unsurprisingly I feel a lot better now that I'm not poisoned every fucking day. The drinking was okay for a long time but when I started getting old it really started taking a toll on me physically and mentally. And when I was a wreck from drinking, everything pretty much sucked, everything was so daunting, I felt paralyzed. She did me a favor back then but it sure didn't feel like it at the time.

ha, yeah the chocolate ones are good. And I'm gonna do my best on the whole not-getting-hurt thing. Fuck I took a beating last year for real.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by UpEndedLife

Maybe I can reply without mod approval if I'm not M-series?

Thanks for the encouragement, ice. glad to hear its working out for you guys.

Just got off the phone with the doc who helped me cut back 3 years ago. Got an appt two weeks out, says don't booze in the meantime. Fuck, that's gonna be fucking painful. Fuck. Fuck, this is rock fucking bottom. Drunk, in debt, no retirement, no house, no wife, no dog. nothing. Shit. I'm fucking 40. I'm so fucking petrified of becoming some non-drinking weirdo. What kind of thinking is that? holy fuck i've fucked this all up. Career kind of in the shits too. Shattered law practice. Again, from drinking, or at least having fucked up priorities.

---

One day at a time. That's all you can do. Best of luck to you.

Remember: when you stumble, get back up again because everyday is a new day to make a fresh start.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

Nah that's all done. She left her job of 30 years where she was the big boss at the end of December and went full-time into the startup she and my daughter are doing, and coincidentally I broke my pelvis in December and was fairly helpless so she went from being in charge of hundreds of people to being here at home with just me on crutches and needing help.

My theory is she just kinda lost it with all the changes in her life. It's just a theory though, because when all of a sudden the switch flipped and she liked me again I decided to just go with that and not question it. Possibly a mistake because since I don't know wtf happened it might happen again any minute. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it I guess.

edit: Just saw your post UEL, maybe see if the doc will write a scrip for some xanax or valium for a few days to get through withdrawal if it's as bad as that. I drank every fucking day for like 25 years but quit that 6 years ago when we hit the last bump in the road. I still drink but at a way lower level and only if I'm not gonna be around her. I don't lie about it, I just don't drink when she's around and we don't talk about it when she's gone.

Like it seems with you alcohol was a big part of my self-image, it was really tough to change but both kids were still in high school and I couldn't take the idea of leaving them. Somewhat unsurprisingly I feel a lot better now that I'm not poisoned every fucking day. The drinking was okay for a long time but when I started getting old it really started taking a toll on me physically and mentally. And when I was a wreck from drinking, everything pretty much sucked, everything was so daunting, I felt paralyzed. She did me a favor back then but it sure didn't feel like it at the time.

---

Yeah, sounds like a stress release. Rising waters caused the damn to break now the pressure is relieved. Not the healthiest way to deal with it and certainly hard on others in the family but yanno..... it's the human condition. Imperfect and fucked-up. Maybe next time you see it coming try to head it off at the pass with a little gesture like flowers or ordering dinner delivered (since you can't get out) or a spa day so she can get out and away from everything.

UpEndedLife wrote:

Quote:

---

Fuck. Fuck, this is rock fucking bottom. Drunk, in debt, no retirement, no house, no wife, no dog. nothing. Shit. I'm fucking 40. I'm so fucking petrified of becoming some non-drinking weirdo. What kind of thinking is that? holy fuck i've fucked this all up. Career kind of in the shits too.

---

http://splitsider.awlnetwork.com/wp-...11/stripes.jpg
The maximum age for non-prior service enlistments for each service is: Active Duty Army - 42

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Svengali

The maximum age for non-prior service enlistments for each service is: Active Duty Army - 42

---

Ooouch, but if you go in as an officer, do your 20 in the JAG, come out with VA benefits and a pension, not totally a bad choice IMO.
Attachment 227901

http://splitsider.awlnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2010/11/stripes.jpg[/IMG]
The maximum age for non-prior service enlistments for each service is: Active Duty Army - 42[/QUOTE]LOL. yeah, have to get my eardrum fixed first.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KQ

One day at a time. That's all you can do. Best of luck to you.

Remember: when you stumble, get back up again because everyday is a new day to make a fresh start.

---

Thank you for the kind words.

I think that the reality is that eventually all of us married guys are at some point or another teetering on the edge of divorce.

Making too much money and not around and available - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not making enough money - she is tempted to divorce you.

Too many hobbies keeping you away - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not enough hobbies means that you’re a boring slob - she is tempted to divorce you.

Drink too much - she is tempted to divorce you.

Don’t get out socializing enough/drinking - she is tempted to divorce you.




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick

I think that the reality is that eventually all of us married guys are at some point or another teetering on the edge of divorce.

Making too much money and not around and available - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not making enough money - she is tempted to divorce you.

Too many hobbies keeping you away - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not enough hobbies means that you’re a boring slob - she is tempted to divorce you.

Drink too much - she is tempted to divorce you.

Don’t get out socializing enough/drinking - she is tempted to divorce you.

---

Ah yes, sometimes the fine print on "happily ever after" is "damned if you do, damned if you don't"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

I drank every fucking day for like 25 years....Like it seems with you alcohol was a big part of my self-image...

---

You did a wise thing, Ice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Kmh...ature=youtu.be

Well my engagement just ended. We own a home together.

I enjoyed getting bashed on speakerphone by her and her co dependent mother.

Turns out, my ex has borderline and I didn't realise until Really after we moved in.

Oh boy. This is fun.

on the phone with her mom - that's classy

@viva: haha how the fuck did you find that shit?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by delco714

Well my engagement just ended. We own a home together.

I enjoyed getting bashed on speakerphone by her and her co dependent mother.

Turns out, my ex has borderline and I didn't realise until Really after we moved in.

Oh boy. This is fun.

---

That's harsh.

I got married because I couldn't think of anything to buy her for christmas so I bought a ring. Literally true. We owned a house and two cars and two dogs at the time, it wasn't like we weren't involved. But the marriage? Christmas.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

That's harsh.

I got married because I couldn't think of anything to buy her for christmas so I bought a ring. Literally true. We owned a house and two cars and two dogs at the time, it wasn't like we weren't involved. But the marriage? Christmas.

---

It helps that she can't afford the house on her own and bashed it (brand brand new house we had finished to spec).. But she decorated it. And we work together.. So she's looking for a new house, I'm trying to re finance, and now I have to decorate.. And buy like curtains and shit.

Did I mention we just got a puppy last week? 9 weeks old today (my dog. Officially).

This is the least fun I've ever had I think

If it's female name it after her.

edit: if that's not clear sorry. It's so you can say, "Sit the fuck down and shut up [Caroline] you bitch!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by iceman

If it's female name it after her.

edit: if that's not clear sorry. It's so you can say, "Sit the fuck down and shut up [Caroline] you bitch!"

---

Now I get why you chose iceman.. ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick

I think that the reality is that eventually all of us married guys are at some point or another teetering on the edge of divorce.

Making too much money and not around and available - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not making enough money - she is tempted to divorce you.

Too many hobbies keeping you away - she is tempted to divorce you.

Not enough hobbies means that you’re a boring slob - she is tempted to divorce you.

Drink too much - she is tempted to divorce you.

Don’t get out socializing enough/drinking - she is tempted to divorce you.




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

---

Women probably have a similar list. Some of them work both ways as-is.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by delco714

Well my engagement just ended. We own a home together.

I enjoyed getting bashed on speakerphone by her and her co dependent mother.

Turns out, my ex has borderline and I didn't realise until Really after we moved in.

Oh boy. This is fun.

---

Ouch. Bright side, better now than years down the road with kids.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dantheman

Women probably have a similar list.

Ouch. Bright side, better now than years down the road with kids.

---

Absolutely. But this has been more tough than my divorce..Maybe not emotionally..long story