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Me screwing random internet dude/ chicks to whore myself for free living space is quite fine...but whatever you do keep the devil weed away from my boy!!! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by yogachik
** This thread has made my Friday afternoon :yourock:
unbelievable.... this thread is on track to blow by 8000 views this afternoon.
honestly guys when i was on craigslist browsing for a new car, and i posted honeyblonde's ad here, i never thought it would generate this much interest. just classic. i knew i could count on the maggot community to collectively put their best foot forward. i haven't stopped laughing since this thread started.
in any case, i am actually planning on going to the Kayak park this Sunday to watch the festivites... was going to bring my wife and daughters. so... i can also add to the photographic documentary of this significant event in maggot history!!!
Man- the cops are gonna be fucking stunned when OHC and Cubaka come running up with cameras yelling "NO NO NO This is an internet sting you fucking douchebag vice cops!!!!!!"
Words are failing me. This thread is AWESOME!!
Standout work by Punani for getting the ball rolling and by Roo and Spicoli!!
Yoga, so devious with the believable hook. The actual meet up? Brilliant.
You all rock :yourock: :yourock: :yourock: This is the funniest shit I've read here in forever. Thanks all
edit - and I don't think it's a sting. They'd propably put it on the hooker page if that was the case. http://reno.craigslist.org/ers/
I will make it clear to honeypie/jessica that my friend, Mike, knows nothing of our discussions or rental arrangement - just that he's going to meet a potential renter.
and I agree with daPig, she's got some bizarre morals. then again, so do we all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onehotchili
" now girls, you see this lady over there talking to uncle splat? 'yes daddy.' You should never post on the internet that you want to exchange sex for rent like this lady. If I ever hear of you doing this you girls will be in big trouble"
any other pnw mags want to road trip to reno for the show? who's making t-shirts and stickers for the sickest mini summit ever?
I'm now convinced she's real - no one is this good, or consistent
Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 12:06:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: "honey pie" <honeyblondedd@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: tahoe rental exchange
To: "wwmdincali" <wwmdincali@yahoo.com>
i will bring them...sugar and bear...and devon and me. the dogs usually spend the day outside, the evenings inside with us, and then sleep in their 'room' which is my current pantry. they dont have run of the house. mainly because the previous tennants had many cats and my landlord wouldnt change the carpet...so they will spend all night all riled up and sniffing trying to find the cat. their room is basically a tiny hallway with a babygate. technically they could jump it but know better. the worst they do is 'consume' a teenage mutant ninja turtle every once in a while. they dont chew furniture or baseboards etc. they get rawhides and when im feeling rich, actual dog biscuits. when i found them (up in verdi) they were abused puppies with bellies swollen with gas from eating out of the garbage who were terrified of everyone. now they are mostly afraid of men. they are getting better with visits to the dogpark etc.
okay enough rambling...
best to you
jessica
So was I actually. I think I'll just stand off to the side and laugh though.Quote:
Originally Posted by onehotchili
actually meeting this chick??? this is getting out of control
either the vice squad or her convict boyfriend will be there instead and if either get your license plate #, they can get your identity and use your emails to blackmail you
cops could arrest whoever shows up as an accomplis if only to get the identity of the email writer
all kidding aside.... be very careful
Can't wait for the TR from the whitewater park.
This thread is all time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SquawMan
This thread would be a whole lot funnier if you would stop posting in it.
It's been said before but, STFU! I'm no lawyer but I can't see any laws being broken here. The tit girl is naive, she's weeded out the obvious perverts (SuPu, Viva, Roo?) and decided that Yoga is safe. The whole female aspect lends security in this type of arrangement.Quote:
Originally Posted by SquawMan
Don't be suck a killjoy, shut up and sit back to watch the carnage.
^^^^^^^^^Dude, that's some serial noids^^^^^^^^^^
This is so wrong on so many different levels.
But why does it feel so right?? :FIREdevil
I now have a much better grasp of the phrase 'sick and ashamed and happy.'
Squawman= squareman
Splat - If this woman is for real you're going to have to name a ski after her
The "HoneyblondeDD" for a new super fat or The "Jessica" women's model?
Thought this might be appropriate for Splat as a preparation guide. Granted it's aimed at college students, so adjust as needed for situation.
From www.collegehumor.com:
Do your friends respect you too much? Is it your turn to “take one for the team?” Do you know what “slumpbuster” means? Then, my friend, you’re going to have to fuck a fat chick. Be careful, though; the road is filled with danger and pizza. You’re going to need a game plan, so trust a seasoned pro. I mean, uh, I had a friend write this. Because I would NEVER… uh… here you go.
STEP 1: Mental Preparation- The first, most important step is realizing what you’re about to do: Engage in dirty, dirty sex with an unattractive chick of at best mild acquaintance (NO friends; they know where to find you). It’s not going to be pretty, and chances are pretty good that you will not, ahem, finish. So why would you ever put yourself through such torture?
STEP 2: Be Pretty- I know, I know, why do they deserve to get a guy who put in the 10 minutes to put on slacks and a collared shirt? They don’t. That’s the whole point. You’re a bonus! You’ve got to sweep her off her feet, or at least get a severe hernia trying. Just do your hair or something. Whatever. Don’t worry too much about the clothes, but slobbing it only brings the night to an early (more merciful, yes) end.
STEP 3: On the Hunt- You’re at the bar; now go get her. Don’t get the one who’s so fat her face looks pinched and she’s all Chinese in the eyes; they’re too angry to be slutty. Get the one who’s in the clothes that are about 4 sizes too tight and who has an okay face, so after 6 beers you’ll start telling yourself things like, “If she just lost like 80 pounds, she’d be hot.” Let your wingmen have the ladies—you’re having pork for dinner tonight.
STEP 4: Say the Right Things- Remember: Hollywood chicks are too skinny; real chicks have curves; and whatever she’s planning to do in life is really cool. But be smooth about it. Even fat chicks can smell wuss from a mile away, and the only thing worse than nailing a fattie is getting turned down by one. You should be drunk by now. Drink faster.
STEP 5: Closing Time- Go somewhere to eat after the bar. Trust me, do it. Drunk fat chicks love food more than white people love CSI. Then, decide where you’re going next. If it’s her apartment, you’re set. Your apartment ought to be fine, but it makes Step 7 harder. Her dorm room? No sex, unless her roommates aren’t coming back. Avoid your dorm room at all costs, or prepare to be shamed. Mercilessly
STEP 6: Seal the Deal- Good luck, shooter. You may get the screwing of a lifetime. Right. And the Insane Clown Posse may go triple platinum. Let’s be realistic. It’s like wrestling a hairless Saint Bernard, right down to the slobber flying everywhere. If you don’t want a crushed hip, don’t let her be on top. And for fuck’s sakes, WRAP UP. The last thing you’ll ever want to do is get the herp from scraping the bottom of the barrel. That’s just tragic.
STEP 7: Run, She Won’t Catch You- If you’re at her place, leave ASAP. You, uh, had to be somewhere. However, if you’re at your place, you’re going to have to cuddle until she leaves; there’s nothing worse than an angry lowland gorilla with free reign in your dorm/living room. She may eat your X-Box. As soon as she leaves on her own accord, begin avoiding her. If she doesn’t have your number, no problems. If she does, you deserve it. You deserve the desperation hurtling your way like a big, sweaty meteorite with bad highlights. If you share a class with her, drop it. Holding hands in public with your conquest is like showing up to a job interview with shit all over your face.
And there you have it. You’ve just scarred yourself for life, and you’ve given girls another reason to “hate boys.” But past that, you’ve technically gotten laid, you’ve expanded your worldview, and you’ll most assuredly never, ever take a hot chick for granted again.
Awesome second post Gooch!
Way to come out of the lurking zone for a zinger
laughing my ass off
I was thinking about Tuckerman Ravine this Sunday, but now I'll be sitting at home hitting the refresh button waiting for the TR.Quote:
Originally Posted by splat
Well done all involved. I think she is real for sure.
OK -- so should I show up w/ cameras or not?Quote:
Originally Posted by splat
Date: Fri, 13 May 2005 12:55:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "wwmdincali" <wwmdincali@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: meeting
To: "honey pie" <honeyblondedd@yahoo.com>
Jess -
What is a good time for you? And, exactly where would
you meet? I don't know that area well at all and
would like to give Mike some specific time and place.
He'll be there on his bike. By the way, I've told
Mike nothing about our possible arrangement, I just
told him he's meeting a potential renter (and knows
that Caroline is moving out this weekend, so the house
will now sit empty). I've emailed him your picture so
he will easily spot you - I've also emailed a couple
other friends who will be there (by coincidence), to
see if they can find you. Since I can't meet you, I
hope you don't mind being checked out by my friends.
I will say this, though - I'm concerned about Sugar
and Bear and chewing Ninja Turtles - I have a
Giacometti reproduction that I treasure and it looks a
little like a boy's toy. Perhaps I'd just remove it.
I'll wait to hear what Mike says about the dogs.
-Elizabeth
nice touchQuote:
Originally Posted by yogachik
You HAVE to!!! Do it! After you drop me off at the airport, meet up with splat before honeybunny gets there and then hide and take pictures!Quote:
Originally Posted by LegoSkier
This thread RULES!!!
Yoga, you are a true scam artist!! ;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jayfrizzo
I can see it now on a TV news flash.
"Four seemingly unrelated suspicious deaths in the Tahoe area have been linked to an online forum.It appears that all four of the victims were members of the TGR site.Each was found suffocated,with milk on their lips & stretchmarks on their mouths.
A woman new to the area has been taken into custody."