Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

Every fat woman joke is me. Every time a woman is made into an object and critized like a fucking hog on a butchers block it's me.

Everytime a woman isn't your preferred taste because of her body or hair or clothing choices and she is gross or looks like a man or somehow at fault for not being what you would prefer to look at, it's me.

It use to be don't go there. Don't go to the beach because it hurts you when they hold up a 2 written on a paper plate as you walk by while laughing hystetically. Hey last time it was 1, so maybe I should be happy?

Don't go to the gym or the ski shop or anywhere at all.

So, just shut up? You. All of you are hurting people. You think it's just a joke, it's your man's club, but it's not. It's everywhere. TGR is not special, it's one of millions.

It's not about me. I'm fucking miserable and flawed and so fucked up I'll eventually get brave and just stop the hurting but your attitudes are hurting all women.

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Dont believe any of it, you're a solid 3

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Originally Posted by acinpdx

did alias#? turn out to be tuckerman?

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no, concretejungle. Tuckerman is the latest one in the meatgrinder.

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

I'm not fantasizing about anything. When assholes like you have sons they grow into assholes like you. When assholes like you have daughters they grow into strippers and battered women.

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You fucking hate your dad don't you?

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

Ask chainsaw willie how your stock you do, then. You think you know shit and you dont.

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#microabrasions #herpes

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Originally Posted by mtngirl79

For tuckerman? His daughter is in a dangerous and precarious place. My advice to him is go to his wife and beg her to go to therapy with him and work together to do everything they can for their daughter. Put their needs aside. When she's an adult, it's only a few years away, they can put their needs first and divorce if that's what they still want.

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Kids can weather a divorce just fine. Living in a home with parents at odds with each other and developing a fucked up model of relationships is much worse in the long run. I have several friends who wish their parents had just cut bait rather than staying together for their kids.

To back up several pages to where there was some useful and relevant content: writing is valuable. Even if you never share it, it helps to move thoughts out of your head. Trust me on this. I've gone through a divorce and the death of my fiancé, and journaling is a powerful coping mechanism.

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Originally Posted by evasive_MT

Kids can weather a divorce just fine. Living in a home with parents at odds with each other and developing a fucked up model of relationships is much worse in the long run. I have several friends who wish their parents had just cut bait rather than staying together for their kids.

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ˆˆˆ Truth

http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/...a19453-600.jpg

Shes telling me that we can't afford a attorney for me also. She said we can just split everything 50/50 and to just sign what her attorney sends me.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

Shes telling me that we can't afford a attorney for me also. She said we can just split everything 50/50 and to just sign what her attorney sends me.

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Riiiiiggghhttttt #badidea tell her you want the attorney then.

And to those planning possible divorce. I think it has been mentioned, if you inquire with all the local lawyers about retaining them I dont think they can represent the other party due to conflicts. I'm no lawyer.

Yeah, thats a total line of BS. Lawyer up dood.

Good luck.

Good days WILL come your way.

I know, I said what about the dog?
she said "i get the dog"
I said "see already a problem"

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Originally Posted by Skidog

Riiiiiggghhttttt #badidea tell her you want the attorney then.

And to those planning possible divorce. I think it has been mentioned, if you inquire with all the local lawyers about retaining them I dont think they can represent the other party due to conflicts. I'm no lawyer.

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1) 1 atty is hers, so the idea of just sign won't work. But if you want 1 atty, then put that atty in the role of mediator. Alternate dispute resolution.

2) Functionally that's correct -- meeting w attys then can create a conflict. Happens in smaller communities, and it's a nasty move. And, thus, the 1st example of how family law is f'ed up. Couple places have moved towards more of a small-claims approach to evidence etc, but the adversarial system blows for family law in most places.

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Originally Posted by Gravity's Gone

But if you want 1 atty, then put that atty in the role of mediator. Alternate dispute resolution.
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I like that idea. But not the one she already has right?

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

I like that idea. But not the one she already has right?

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Once it's not her attorney watch her backtrack. Hope I'm wrong.

Good luck, tuck.


Between this thread and watching 'we need to talk about Kevin' on Netflix last night I'm done considering marriage and children.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

Shes telling me that we can't afford a attorney for me also. She said we can just split everything 50/50 and to just sign what her attorney sends me.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

I know, I said what about the dog?
she said "i get the dog"
I said "see already a problem"

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You might not have much to split 50/50 after lawyering up if she's saying you can't afford another attorney. The petition for dissolution and the decree of dissolution aren't hard to understand. If it looks fair and you want to be fair there is no reason to get an attorney if you don't feel like you're getting fucked over. Tell her okay but all the legal fees come out of here share of the split since it's her attorney. As far as the dog goes, someone's going to get it. I've heard people splitting custody of dogs just like for children as addressed in the residential time summary of the PP. You also might want just a consult with a good family law attorney for advice here, it will only cost a couple hundred dollars. I did that and after I felt confident I didn't need to "lawyer up" because I wanted to be fair and thought I could be reasonable with the ex. Everything worked well.

The main thing is to avoid ongoing payments/support if at all possible. The shit you have already is just shit, it can be replaced. But don't leverage your future.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

Shes telling me that we can't afford a attorney for me also. She said we can just split everything 50/50 and to just sign what her attorney sends me.

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Then neither side gets to use an attorney, ask her what she would do then.... splitting kids in half down the middle, cut up each piece of property that is in contention down the middle so each gets 1/2 of every item of furniture, vehicles, etc. really would solve nothing.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

I like that idea. But not the one she already has right?

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She already has a plan of action with the current atty and there is likely a strategy in play.
This = an uneven playing field and to her advantage.

Get an new atty to play the role of mediator or you will still be working at a disadvantage.

Thats the other thing. In the paperwork I saw it said she wants alimony there was a check box with a check in it. Now that does not fit the 50/50 scenario. Can I negotiate that on my own? Which is basically me saying no, but Im will to offer to keep her on my health insurance for a few years instead. IDK is that how it works? Or she can keep the dog. How about who gets to stay in the house until is sells??

I am genuinely concerned for her being on her own and her well being. I want her to have good insurance and that sort of thing.

That's why is a good idea to have a sit down with an attorney, not hire him. Find out what the normal settlement for maintenance/alimony would be given the length of your marriage and how old you both are. The longer you've been married and the older you are the more money the dependent spouse will get and get it for longer. If you are both working and getting a divorce will affect you both the same is can be reasoned that no one gets alimony/maintenance. Child support is easy because there is a work sheet and it will determine which parent gets what based on combined income and amount of time spent with the children. If you aren't an asshole it's pretty obviously fair for both parties and the right thing to do for your kids.

The most important thing you can do during your divorce is to try and remain reasonable and objective.

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Originally Posted by AlpenChronicHabitual

She already has a plan of action with the current atty and there is likely a strategy in play.
This = an uneven playing field and to her advantage.

Get an new atty to play the role of mediator or you will still be working at a disadvantage.

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Thats what I was thinking.

If she has already talked to an attorney, you need to talk to an attorney. Even if you use a different attorney for mediation, she has already gotten advice and will probably get advice to go into the mediation. All of that leaves you less informed. It doesn't have to be nasty, but just a level playing field in terms of information you both have. I think it's pretty crass that she thinks she should have an attorney, but you shouldn't.

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Originally Posted by iceman

The main thing is to avoid ongoing payments/support if at all possible. The shit you have already is just shit, it can be replaced. But don't leverage your future.

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X2, don't get suckered into servitude, you can give your kids money without the middleman.

For the love of God, man, don't sign anything that you're not 100% clear what it means. At the very least take the documents to another lawyer and have them sit down and explain what it says. It will only cost a few hundred dollars and it doesn't make you a bad guy. Good for you caring that she's okay but still do not fuck yourself to save a few hundred bucks or because you think it makes you seem mean. You need to think this through.

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Originally Posted by Tuckerman

Thats the other thing. In the paperwork I saw it said she wants alimony there was a check box with a check in it. Now that does not fit the 50/50 scenario. Can I negotiate that on my own? Which is basically me saying no, but Im will to offer to keep her on my health insurance for a few years instead. IDK is that how it works? Or she can keep the dog. How about who gets to stay in the house until is sells??

I am genuinely concerned for her being on her own and her well being. I want her to have good insurance and that sort of thing.

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Was she a stay at home mom and housewife? Are you the sole earner? If so it's fair for you to pay some amount of alimony for some time so she can get on her feet and be independent. You could also give her a lump sum of money in lieu of alimony if she would agree. Splitting your net worth 50/50 has nothing to do with wether or not she would get alimony. Is NH a community property state? Do the divorce laws say "fair and equitable" or "equal" split of assets? I would rather pay alimony than try and trade that for health insurance, alimony is for sure a tax deduction and I'm not sure how that would evenwork for an ex wife given the new regs with ACA. If you're selling the house I would talk to her and see if you can both stay until the divorce is final and/or the house sells. That or I wouldn't bother and start looking for new housing because you're going to need it anyway. Something like that isn't worth fighting over, it will only cause further animosity. I'm guessing she's having some mental health issues?