The Nest, she is empty…

Greetings brethren and mags of the TRGs…. Welp, it’s official, Mrs. Seano and I are empty nesters, having just left Thing Two at college in San Diego, while Thing One left the weekend before ( local but on campus housing)…. I’m obviously proud of my daughters, but I find myself kinda walking around in a fog, if that makes sense. Going from 100 mph at home to zero is really weird… And Mrs. Seano is taking it really hard, she alternates between total silence to bawling on the regular. My question to the collective that have gone through this, what helped you adapt and overcome? I’m sure it gets easier with time, but right now I’m (we) are pretty deep in the pain cave…. Any tips, advice, and suggestions are appreciated. And fuck me, if you need the cold breath of mortality kissing your neck, leaving your daughter in a college parking lot crying her eyes out is a great way to do so. Thanks in advance Mags. Oh, and suggestions not involving hookers and blow, I’m too old for that shit.

Just took the 3rd kid and dropped him off at CU last weekend, but mine were all boys, so I was eager to get all their asses out.

So I'm of no help. :D

Read the "college selection" thread to find commiserators.

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Originally Posted by skaredshtles

Just took the 3rd kid and dropped him off at CU last weekend, but mine were all boys, so I was eager to get all their asses out.

So I'm of no help. :D

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Lol ….. good on you. I feel like the fact mine are twins makes it weirder. Talk about ripping the bandaid off…

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Originally Posted by Danno

Read the "college selection" thread to find commiserators.

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Entirely too much work.

My wife brought home a cat after 2 of 3 vacated and the third one leaving making us empty nesters was definitely "weird". By the way the freaking cat might be most loved/spoiled animal that's ever lived.
Wait until they come home for the summer and you'll be checking off the days until they leave.
You now have time to do things for yourself or all the shit you've been avoiding around the house for the last 18 years.

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

My wife brought home a cat after 2 of 3 vacated and the third one leaving making us empty nesters was definitely "weird". By the way the freaking cat might be most loved/spoiled animal that's ever lived.
Wait until they come home for the summer and you'll be checking off the days until they leave.
You now have time to do things for yourself or all the shit you've been avoiding around the house for the last 18 years.

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Ha! We have three dogs, so fuck if I’m getting a cat….And yes, we’ve talked about all the shit we can finally get done, but I literally find myself walking into a room in my house and having no idea why I did that….

go skiing…



:ski:

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Originally Posted by seano732

Ha! We have three dogs, so fuck if I’m getting a cat….And yes, we’ve talked about all the shit we can finally get done, but I literally find myself walking into a room in my house and having no idea why I did that….

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How's my buddy Crash?

Have you thought of trying for Thing #3?

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Originally Posted by seano732

Ha! We have three dogs, so fuck if I’m getting a cat….And yes, we’ve talked about all the shit we can finally get done, but I literally find myself walking into a room in my house and having no idea why I did that….

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Your wife might just show up with another dog and don't worry, the drive to do shit only lasts like 6 months then you'll just be another lazy dad in the neighborhood with no kids events to be at anymore.

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Originally Posted by m2711c

go skiing…

Ummm yes but it’s August and fucking hot down here…

:ski:

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Originally Posted by riser4

How's my buddy Crash?

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Surprisingly injury free…

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Originally Posted by californiagrown

Have you thought of trying for Thing #3?

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You shut your whore mouth.

Oldest is in his senior year at OU School of Engineering. Youngest is in her 2nd year at Wake Tech and moved in to an apartment across town with a friend middle of the month. She just dropped in to pick up some things that didn't make the first wave of her move. Silly how silly I felt to see her after she had only been gone 2 weeks.

Good side is I can use their rooms for home office options now. I had been camping out in the living room the past 2 years. The youngster's deck cleaned up nicely :-)
Already switched the entertainment system to MY Amazon Music account LOL!

https://scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net...hw&oe=64F085DD

Only 2 of my 5 have left but #3 and #4 leave this year and the next. It's hard, but I love hearing them get into their lives. We're heavily involved in our church which I find helps a lot.

Now when we get all 5 together, it is the greatest thing ever. Not sure how things will go when we are fully empty in the nest. My wife is already looking at getting a job (been a home since the oldest was born), but we'll see how that goes. My recent heart attack has her deciding to up her health in her list of priorities.

The best part is my kids left for school in ID and UT, so great skiing with an excuse to visit!

I work at a hot springs/ campground and this week was all ppl moving their kids in to MSU. Wow, what fanfare. I've seen wealthy women all over town bawling the last few days.

College. I got in my car and went to college. Did not remember any fanfare.

Tell your kids not to get blackout drunk around a house full of drunk AF college kids. No bueno.

Ours have been out for a bit. It sure teaches you whether you are still friends with your spouse. Meeting new folks without kids becomes more challenging but there is a lot
more free time for marital relations.

Man I just can’t relate. Wife and I are empty nesters and it’s awesome. And now when I see my kids it’s meaningful with good conversations. Arguments with kids AND wife have decreased 99%.

I don’t get the weepy listlessness. Don’t you have a life to live? Enjoy the ch-ch-ch-changes.

Congratulations on raising two successful kids!

Mine is only eight and with his condition I’m unlikely to ever be empty nester so I really don’t know what to say. Maybe organize old photos and revel in the joy of the parenting well done?

I can also drop my kid off at your place to keep you busy, eh?

I’m the youngest of 3, so I got a window into that whole thing when my parents dropped me off freshman year. They basically helped dump all myself in my room and quickly said goodbye before leaving as quick as they came. Didn’t find out until later they cried the entire several hour drive home.

It also happened that our red retriever died a couple months before I left, so their house felt extra empty. So what do you know that several weeks later I get a text message from them- with my mom holding a brand new retriever puppy.

They swore up and down that they were done with dogs after the last one passed, but they were too used to being parents that it seemed to fit. We’ll see what happens after this dog passes too.

TLDR: get a puppy

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Originally Posted by S_jenks

I’m the youngest of 3, so I got a window into that whole thing when my parents dropped me off freshman year. They basically helped dump all myself in my room and quickly said goodbye before leaving as quick as they came. Didn’t find out until later they cried the entire several hour drive home.

It also happened that our red retriever died a couple months before I left, so their house felt extra empty. So what do you know that several weeks later I get a text message from them- with my mom holding a brand new retriever puppy.

They swore up and down that they were done with dogs after the last one passed, but they were too used to being parents that it seemed to fit. We’ll see what happens after this dog passes too.

TLDR: get a puppy

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they already have three dogs.

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Originally Posted by zion zig zag

I don’t get the weepy listlessness. Don’t you have a life to live?

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This. You're lucky if you have 20 good years left, so get the fuck out there and start ticking all the stuff off your bucket list that you couldn't do when you had kids!!

You’re welcome to babysit my 3 month old. Probably an hour would be enough to return home with gratitude for a quiet house. 😀

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Originally Posted by zion zig zag

Man I just can’t relate. Wife and I are empty nesters and it’s awesome. And now when I see my kids it’s meaningful with good conversations. Arguments with kids AND wife have decreased 99%.

I don’t get the weepy listlessness. Don’t you have a life to live? Enjoy the ch-ch-ch-changes.

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Honestly dude, good for you. I’m not fucking weepy and listless, but since we left SD, in no particular order I’ve lost my wallet, keys, phone, forgot why I went into my office, and drove the wrong way to the local store….So if you’re advice is C’Est le bon Chance Roullie, again thanks.

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Originally Posted by yeahman

This. You're lucky if you have 20 good years left, so get the fuck out there and start ticking all the stuff off your bucket list that you couldn't do when you had kids!!

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See above.

First time they come home for a few days it’ll be loud and busy and you’ll miss the peace and quiet and when they go away again you’ll be relieved. And you’ll be over it.

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Originally Posted by ötzi

First time they come home for a few days it’ll be loud and busy and you’ll miss the peace and quiet and when they go away again you’ll be relieved. And you’ll be over it.

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Word.

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Originally Posted by ötzi

First time they come home for a few days it’ll be loud and busy and you’ll miss the peace and quiet and when they go away again you’ll be relieved. And you’ll be over it.

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Eh mine came home this weekend and we enjoy her company all the time. Being an only child she always has hung with us. And now that she’s older she’s our friend.
Being so damn close, she’ll be home a lot. Only thing I can bitch about is the dishes. Still leaves em in the sink like she did when she was 5. At least rinse them out please. Cmon.

Yeah, I understand where you’re coming from but I don’t think you’re an empty nester yet. They’re coming home for summers and one of them is close enough that she’ll be dropping by for food, laundry etc. In fact you may have jinxed yourself with this thread. Isn’t kids moving back home after college still a thing?

I watched a GF get really fucked up (Tears & drama) over her oldest going off to uni

When I dropped my youngest at U of A with some clothes a TV / computer/ bar fridge I told him i wasnt gona tell him to be good but pointed out all these people will be your peers if you do something stupid

also an engineer should know what a good beer tastes like

at convocation they had a big collection of euro-beer cans

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Originally Posted by Buzzworthy

Eh mine came home this weekend and we enjoy her company all the time. Being an only child she always has hung with us. And now that she’s older she’s our friend.
Being so damn close, she’ll be home a lot. Only thing I can bitch about is the dishes. Still leaves em in the sink like she did when she was 5. At least rinse them out please. Cmon.

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Try putting the dirty dishes in her bed. It'll fix that problem right quick.

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

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Originally Posted by singlecross

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

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Clearly this is the way.

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Originally Posted by yeahman

Try putting the dirty dishes in her bed. It'll fix that problem right quick.

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Been there, done exactly that.

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Originally Posted by yeahman

This. You're lucky if you have 20 good years left, so get the fuck out there and start ticking all the stuff off your bucket list that you couldn't do when you had kids!!

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Thing is this is only Phase I of empty nest.. and it's actually more expensive than high school was. a LOT more expensive. The Bucket List shit ain't happening until the LAST kid is done with college. The discussions about money with the spouse are still stressful. Every college mishap every unexpected summer session sucks money beyond the college savings and out of that bucket list end of the rainbow pot.

It's all totally worth it though.

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Originally Posted by SumJongGuy

Thing is this is only Phase I of empty nest.. and it's actually more expensive than high school was. a LOT more expensive. The Bucket List shit ain't happening until the LAST kid is done with college. The discussions about money with the spouse are still stressful. Every college mishap every unexpected summer session sucks money beyond the college savings and out of that bucket list end of the rainbow pot.

It's all totally worth it though.

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Bucket list stuff does not need to be expensive. It's more about having the time free of any child-related obligations.

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Originally Posted by singlecross

We’re first time empty nesters later this week when we drop both kids off to their schools. I’m going to try adventure travel and more sex, supplemented with an uptick in cannabis use, for both my wife and me.

I’ve planned a weeklong coastal cruise on our boat for our first week to keep my wife out of a quiet house. Also planning 6 week ski trip this Winter in our camper.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Oh, a clean kitchen sounds nice too…

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What dating site are you planning on using ?

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Originally Posted by fatnslow

What dating site are you planning on using ?

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TGR

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Originally Posted by Ted Striker

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Nice

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...nest-syndrome#

Summary:

- Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of home. This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find few sources of support (e.g. TGR) or sympathy (e.g. TGR). In many cases, empty nest syndrome is compounded by other difficult life events or significant changes happening around the same time, such as retirement or menopause.
- ...
- Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed

Oof… It’ll get better, Seano.

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Originally Posted by Ted Striker

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Gold, Jerry, gold….

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Originally Posted by Lvovsky

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...nest-syndrome#

Summary:

- Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of home. This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find few sources of support (e.g. TGR) or sympathy (e.g. TGR). In many cases, empty nest syndrome is compounded by other difficult life events or significant changes happening around the same time, such as retirement or menopause.
- ...
- Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed

Oof… It’ll get better, Seano.

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Thank you for that. The Mrs. is crying as I type.