TR: Mount Bohemia 2/15-2/18
I'm a long-time lurker/infrequent poster here, but thought I'd take a stab at starting my own TR thread and see what happens. Please be gentle on me as my self-esteem bruises easily. I know this TR is a month old, but I've been super lazy on posting it. My apologies, but I thought since there wasn't that many Mt Bohemia trip reports here, I could help add to the mix. Please also note there is a lot of sarcasm in this post, as you may be able to detect.
We started out a few days before at Welch Village in Middle of Nowhere, MN, where we got to demo next year's skis for two days. The snow was less than optimal--no shock here--but Welch worked with what they had and did a pretty good job. Mostly, these two days at Welch Village were spent demoing, drinking, and smoking lots of cigarettes. I also brought my Wii which was a pretty big hit. To start the thread out right, I give you this picture:
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Along the way, I also picked up a pair of Elizabeths that we spent burning the midnight oil to install. Obligatory New Ski Picture follows, please focus all your attention on the Elizabeths and not on the poopy Seth Pistols or Titan 9s. I hear both skis are really bad and you should not ski them, I guess the Seths are really good for slaloming only and the Titan 9s are super super noodly:
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Moving right along, we skied our two days at Welch, then immediately packed up and shot back up Minnesota, through Wisconsin, and into Michigan's UP where we were magically teleported back in time 20 years, in both fashion and mentality. And on top of it, cars have been replaced with snowmobiles:
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However, despite the closed-mindedness and general scowls of the citizens of the UP, the snow was deep and beautiful. We arrived just on the cusp of a small lake-effect snowstorm that dumped about 8-10:
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We checked into our can't-believe-it-meets-some-sort-of-health-code motel (which had a TV that was NOT compatible with my Wii, shock), geared up, and headed for Mt Bohemia. The snow only got better:
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We picked up our $99 season passes that we purchased and finally got to use due to poor, poor snow conditions. Mt Bohemia has a complex system for tracking season pass holders: in consists of two sets of eight binders, four large file boxes, and a Polaroid instant camera. One set of eight binders seems utterly useless, but whatever works. After getting our passes--which look ridiculously easy to create at home--we hit the snow. At this point, I will simply let the pictures do the talking:
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We found a new section of Bohemia, called the "Outer Limits." We had talked to a patroller to help us locate it (note: Mt Bohemia's trail map is fucking useless. I think it was done with MS Paint.) He told us how to get there, and we asked him how the snow was. He said "tracked up." As the pictures above illustrate, this was just so not true. Although there was a little hiking involved for some of the turns. Here's me, wishing I hadn't smoked and drank so much the past few days after a nice hike in the "Outer Limits:"
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We got in a few hours of skiing, went back to the parking lot and de-geared, then had a celebratory beer. There were some locals doing the same, and when it was time to go, they simply piled into their vehicles--beer in hand--and took off. Another world, indeed. While watching the locals drive off, wondering if there's even cops this remote, we admired my friend's lovely core shot on his Seth Pistols. It was deep and very long. He was sad, especially when we remembered we didn't have any Ptex. We headed to the Patroller's Yurt and a ridiculously gorgeous female ski patroller hooked us up. We then spent the rest of the night drinking Coors light, watching scratchy TV, and Ptexing:
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Before we passed out, we got the lowdown on the weather: small traces of lake effect snow was expected...
...and we got it. 4-5" to be exact of it. Soft, fluffy white stuff:
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It was snowing when we arrived about an hour after first chair that morning and we immediately noticed the huge amount of gapers that were skiing at Bohemia that day (it *was* Saturday). We even saw kids and adults on snow blades/snowler blades. Fucking snowler blades. On a hill that isn't groomed ever. Bohemia prides itself on maintaing a "backcountry"-style resort by limiting the amount of maintenance it does on the hill and not owning a single snowgun or groomer. They uphold this image well, but their other pride-and-joy image is the slogan "No beginners allowed." This was obviously right out the window as little kids wedged down head-high natural moguls, Bogarting the rest of the terrain for the hard-chargers. The snowler blades, too, ruined that tough "no beginners" thing for Bohemia to do. We thought it best to dip into the "Extreme Backcountry" where the snow should have still be good from days before, and on top of it, had the new freshies to enjoy. We didn't stop for any pictures so we could enjoy the snow. Then a little later in the morning, the snow broke and it became completely bluebird. We then found a great little cliff band that was just a tad too exposed to do anything with, but did make an excellent picture:
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We spent the whole morning in the "Extreme Backcountry" playing around on cliffs and other natural features. Again, I will let the photos do the talking:
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The views from the front side of Bohemia (where the "Extreme Backcountry" is) are just beautiful. Lake Superior at it's finest (and coldest):
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A picture of a dog:
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Our legs were burning from most enjoyable of turns, so we stopped for a gourmet lunch of insta-Dinty Moore and PowerAde at the yurts (Bohemia has no "permanent" buildings, only yurts). After lunch, we decided it was time to poach some cliffs located smack dab in the middle of the hill. The lifts run right next to the cliffs, so there was plenty of heckling and cheering from the passer-bys:
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Here's a good before-and-after of my friend's first tracks over one cliff. He stuck it, but not so clean. Observe:
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We lapped these cliffs about three times, the second attempt he nailed it. The snow was so deep and fluffy that your landings were just beautiful, but if you got too squirrelly, the snow would toss you (see above). We were pretty beat up, but made a few more passes at the "Extreme Backcountry." Bohemia only has two lifts, one that services the front side at the base yurts, and the other that faces the lake, that services the "Bear Den" area and now the new "Outer Limits." In betweenst these areas lie the "Extreme Backcountry" with no cat out or other easy access to a lift, so they have "backcountry bus" that comes and picks you up. The exit from the "Extreme Backcountry" and waiting for the bus to show up:
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By day's end, we were beat and in need of another celebratory beer. We enjoyed, went back to the "motel" and crashed. Sunday we arrived to a mostly skied-out resort, but we still managed to play around (mostly on the wondefully soft natural moguls) and have fun. The Elizabeths totally killed it for this type of lax, easy skiing. I didn't take any pictures this day as we figured there wasn't much that was going to be exciting, and we just wanted to charge without having to stop while I fucked around with the camera. I did take one closing picture as we left Bohemia:
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All in all, it was a great trip. I hope you enjoyed, I hope it wasn't too wordy, and I'm sure I'll have another TR again soon when I head back to Bohemia. But first, back to Utah this week! Woo hoo! I'll now take comments/questions/smarmy remarks from the masses! Just remember, I love you all!
