need funny caption to Evite image

Anyone have a funny caption for this douche?

http://us.f13.yahoofs.com/bc/44417f1...Y5beFBm_v7yhwD

"Hi, I'm HankStamper and I'm GHEY."

"Do you like it in der Poopenhausen too?"

Totally gay, but smart enough to realize that one of you funny pricks will come up with something epic.

"You guessed it, it's a Kinkade painting chopped into a million pieces so you can use it for mulch!"

"Yeah babe, I sold all of my furniture to get you that"

It is the 9000 but I couldn't afford the chinstrap

Is her right arm a tentacle? Look at the way she is holding the cover to her present

what about ""I hope you like it Babe. Borat says it's good luck and I know how you like me to be all smooth down there."

"Peer pressure, a great way to get your friends to do things they may otherwise not do, but you want them to do."

I can't see it.

"The giant red X party"