For those of you who haven't had the pleasure....A
Its all true.....
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via
the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions
state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls
go
to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change
of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell
has
to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and
take
into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must
be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already
frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a
divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Carter Fox
