Party favors

So I went to this party the other week and I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be that cool. So I decided to spice up the party a bit. It was a theme party called "golf pro's and tennnis hoes".

I stopped at the local liquor store on 8 mile and picked up a fifth of stoli and a 12er of budweiser to take to the party. While those are top notch ingreidients for a good party, it was the nov issue of "BIG BLACK BUTT" I picked up that was the real hit.


I should start off by saying that I generally find black chicks attractive. They have a year round tan and age much better than white chicks. And, I like a bigger ass on my girls. But not this big. This magazine was so.......so completely wrong, yeah , that's it, wrong that I was forced to look at it. I carried the fifth of stoli in my left ass pocket which allowed for a lightning fast draw when pouring my drink at the party. In my right ass pocket, 'BIG BLACK BUTT".

I started out in the bathroom. I couldn't ask the owners of the house for tape of any kind so I improvised and wetted the pages I had torn out with water from the sink in the bathroom. Then I just mashed them onto the mirror in the bathroom. I started off with one. Then moved onto more strategic placement. I'd put one on the mirror, and then place one on the wall next to the toilet. When the victim turned their head away in horror at the pic in front of them on the mirror, they were greeted by one on the wall that was even closer to their face. And we all know, the closer you get to a big butt, the bigger it looks. Oh, don't worry girls, I put some up on the wall you would be facing if you were sitting down to do your business. I don't disciminate when I am bombarding people with bad porn.

My plan was to entertain the guests with this magazine. Then I decided I was being rude in not sharing with the hosts. So I comissioned a young lady to to put some of the pics under the pillows on the beds of the hosts. She was quite crafty and buried a few between the sheets as well. I was busy stuffing them into their couch cushions and behind some canned foods in the cupboard. A few in the freezer. And my personal favorite, between their copy of "The Robb Report" and "Forbes" magazine. The idea behind leaving them hidden in the sheets was this; if one of the young men hosting this party were to get lucky with some little lady that night, the little lady might be the one to discover that the man she is about to fuck has a serious obsession with enormous asses. She then, will be left feeling oddly inadequate in her ability to please this man, being as she is probably some skinny hot chick from the east side. Or, the guy will find it himself and try to play it off like he didn't put that there. She, of course, will not believe him.

I let the cat out of the bag when I took too long in the bathroom because I plastered the entire mirror, which was not small. I used some aresol foaming bathroom cleanser as adhesive to facilitate such a huge job. Nobody could pin it on me for sure but, they knew, there was no stopping the porn.

So I started putting them up on this one window of the loft . Which had a nice view of downton detroit. It's the kind of window that, when you walk into the apartment, you gravitate right to it for a look because of the view. Soooo many people came in, said "ooooh look" walked up to the window, realized what they were really looking at, and never looked out that window again.

The happy ending.
This loft was above a nightclub on Woodward. A night club that has a lot of big black bouncers. A lot of those big black bouncers came up to the party around 3 a.m. and were greeted by "BIG BLACK BUTT". They liked it. It was a multi-racial hit.

I highly reccomend doing this at the next house party you attend.