Cletus's "WELCOME WAGON" to help with the journey to the new world
"Cletus" our humble moral leader from another board (which shall remain nameless). Helped us with some guidelines in that nether world. They may help us here along our journeys to keep the stoke flame burning a white hot snow colored flame. But do not forget your heart. It will take you far in this world. So we are here. Let us not forget what helped our journey to this place.
Welcome to the Board Room, one of the zaniest, craziest, coolest places on the entire net, and the ultimate haven for hard-chargin', story-writin', zappa recitin', flame-throwing, 24-7-365 thinkin' (about skiing, anyway), gear-debatin', pow ridin' people in the world!
Before you get started here you may want to read the following thoughts by some of the regulars around here. I have no idea what they'll say, and most threads around here degrade pretty quickly, but nevertheless, reading this will quite likely help you ease your way into what may become your second worst addiction, if you're anything like us. Just remember, at least you get to keep your teeth.
1. There are no moderators here.
Believe it or not, this place, although hosted and maintained by Powder Magazine, has no active moderators. We did have one or two at the very beginning (but they left years ago), and occassionally, someone shows up to fix stuff (when they've broken it), but basically, no moderation. This means that we've become, for the most part, a wholly self-regulating entity. If you put up some nasty sh!t, or worse, something truly heinious and criminal, we're going to track you down and beat the crap out of you, and you're going to remove it. This also means that we, as a group, are responsible for the quality and nature of the dialogue. So, while I can tell you to SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL, you WANKER, MORON, JERK-OFF NEWBIE GAPER (and someone probably will at one point or another, and no one can do anything about it but them), too much of that kind of spray gets old eventually. Although it does help us get through the summers. Heh. Heh heh. Oh yes, that brings me to...
2. Its only an internet chat room.
So don't get your panties in a wad. Sometimes - well, okay, A LOT of the time, in fact, MOST of the time, we slag people for the crap they say, do, and so on. That's just how it is around here. Don't like it? Grow a spine or go away. No whining or wanking allowed.
3. Its not just an internet chat room.
The thing is, this aint yer ordinary chat room. Not anymore. This chat room is filled by writers (budding and pro, Powder staff and regular Joe), photographers (amateur, up-and-coming, and old guard), pro freeskiers, heli-guides, engineers, lawyers, programmers, doctors, students, drop-outs, high schoolers, new schoolers, old schoolers, knee-droppers, lift oppers, party hoppers, tourons, morons, and bombshell blonds (although it'd be nice to have more of those ) More importantly, MANY - if not MOST - of us have skied together, partied together, and slept on each other's floors as a direct result of this place. Those that haven't probably will soon enough. For being an anonymous internet chat room, this place is actually a very well-connected f'ed-up little community. And we're freaking everywhere. West Coast, East Coast, North Coast, Deep South, Cali, Wash, OOtah, NYC, Beantown, New Zealand, Austria, France, and more. Which is exactly why you should never, I repeat
4. Never judge this book by it's cover.
Cause you just don't know who you may be talking to. And that, combined with #1, #2, and #3, makes for truly hilarious situations. We semi-regularly spew at the editors and interns of Powder (who can barely read at the third grade level, but they do try hard and they spray right back at us. We had a long running joke with industry icons Shane McConkey and Scott Gaffney about their behavior behind closed doors, until Gaffney kicked McShlonkey out in a vicious lover's spat; they slagged back too. I'm afraid I once ribbed (very lightly, but with no lubrication...ewww) one of the most accomplished ski mountaineers in the country, and he hasn't been around since. Oh well. Guess it just wasn't his style. Maybe he prefers studded? Look, I'm not saying that it's all childish, immature stuff that goes on here - there's a lot of fairly intellectual, soul-stirring, heart-warming posts hidden here and there. But you gotta search for it amongst the noise. And to really get it, you've got to engage, read and write, to participate, to debate with some intelligence, to create. In short, to give before you are able to receive. That's because
5. There's a bit of history here.
I'm not going to over do it - in the end, we're all still just a bunch of skiing internet weirdos - but a lot of sh!t has gone down here in the past three and a half years. We've made t-shirts, produced stickers, and have shwag for sale. We've raised money to support a new ski area. We've named chairs on their chairlift. We've raised cash for charity and collected gear for a friend of a friend of a friend whose house burned down. We've designed the topsheets for a totally new ski that came out this past year. (They rip, by the way. Look for the No Ka Ois at a hill near you!) We've had two 60+ person annual "summit" meetings, and countless nutty mini-summits. We've been written up in Powder. Gone to MSP and TGR premiers together. We went through 9-11 ('nuff said) together. We've seen people quit their jobs to pursue the dream of skiing. We've seen people get new jobs and leave skiing behind (although, not for long, we hope). We've seen people's newborn babies. Heard of deaths in the skiing family. We've even lost one maggot to the white room in the sky (RIP GSpot).
Point being, this place, like the magazine that supports it, is truly For Skiers, By Skiers. If you wake up in the middle of July, sweating not because of the heat, but rather, because of the sheer intensity of your desire to get back to ripping knee-deep powder, if you can form complete sentences and articulate your thoughts, then we want you and your creative juices here. And if you're a hot 6' blond named Victoria, we want pictures too. Nekked ones. Lot's of 'em.
Anyway, that's all I got to say. Now, shut yer damn cake-hole for a little while, and read before you post. Remember, post first, then smoke crack. Or is it the other way around? I can never remember.
Much luv to the powdermaggots,
cletus
"the PHOENIX RISES"
[ October 03, 2003: Message edited by: TJ.Brk ]
[ October 03, 2003: Message edited by: TJ.Brk ]
