Why cheap strippers suck reason #568

So my frat house ordered a couple of central New Yorks finest strippers to come and entertain us for a couple hours to start off the semester. Well a few innocent lap dances turned into a drunken debauchery. It became my turn and as my brothers drank more - they egged on the stripper. She took off my shirt and made me get down on my hands and knees. She then said that she would whip me with my belt for every dollar she got. Dollar bills then filled the air and she was belting away. She got real into it and instead of pulling down my pants to whip me and my bare ass, she ripped my boxers in half. So i woke up this morning with welts on my ass cause of this god damn stripper and I am down a nice pair of boxers.
The worst part was that later in the night i was hooking up with a girl and when she took off my jeans, i had to explain why the ass of my boxers was ripped off...........
The lesson in this is.........i'm not really sure

YOU LACK DISCIPLINE!

Raps = owned by the stripper

overall a pretty suscessfull night

Owned is right...

Why the hell were you letting the stipper whip you? Shouldn't it have been the other way around?

my buddy's bachelor party in Reno, 1998....

we take him to some titty bar, and of course set him up as the groom to be (wedding is in 2 days). The strippers put him in some handcuffs hanging from the ceiling and start working him over. Eventually they pull out the cat-o-9 tails. Unbeknownst to us, one of the girls whispers to him "if we start whipping you too hard, say 'code blue', and that's the code word to ease up". Well, I guess the ((((code)))) didn't make it to the girl with the whip. She eventually starts really laying into him. He's twisting in the breeze screaming "code blue!!! code blue!!!", we're all dying laughing and throwing money at the stage like it's our job, and this dumb slut just thinks he wants more and is getting some happy gilmore style whips in on him. Finally, cooler heads prevail and they ease up on him. Unfortunatley, by this point my boy's back looks like Koonta Kintey from Roots.

After the wedding/honeymoon, we asked him what he told Gretchen about his slashed back. He was like "what could I tell her...I said some stripper whipped the christ out of me...."

:biggrin:

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Originally Posted by Canuk

Owned is right...

Why the hell were you letting the stipper whip you? Shouldn't it have been the other way around?

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When you got 50 dudes egging the chick to do it and paying her, you don't really have much say in the matter. Plus she was wearing a cop outfit......i'm usually pretty obediant towards officers of the law.

ANOTHER ROUND EYE BITES THE DUST!

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Originally Posted by Raps

When you got 50 dudes egging the chick to do it and paying her, you don't really have much say in the matter. Plus she was wearing a cop outfit......i'm usually pretty obediant towards officers of the law.

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Just admit you wanted it already.

This frat house where I went to college used to bring in some great strippers for the United Way fund drive every spring. They were doing the ole pick up the folded dollar off guys' noses and stuff....but this one dorky dude kept hollering insults at the girls, so some guys threw him on stage, ripped off his cothes, held him down, and put the girls on him. In the end he was sucked, fucked, and pissed on in front of about 300 guys -all against his will. What a great party!

No reach around?

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Originally Posted by splat

This frat house where I went to college used to bring in some great strippers for the United Way fund drive every spring.

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Wouldn't strippers make more sense for the Make A Wish foundation?

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Originally Posted by splat

They were doing the ole pick up the folded dollar off guys' noses and stuff....

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curiousity is getting the better of me -- wtf is this? they do this with what? their tits, their cootch? what?

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Originally Posted by yogachik

curiousity is getting the better of me -- wtf is this? they do this with what? their tits, their cootch? what?

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Gotta be the cootch. Gotta be.

Reason why frats suck #1,023,234,567

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Originally Posted by Raps

The worst part was that later in the night i was hooking up with a girl and when she took off my jeans, i had to explain why the ass of my boxers was ripped off...........
The lesson in this is.........i'm not really sure

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The lesson isn't "after the stripper is done whipping my ass after ripping my shorts off, I probably should go change into a new pair of shorts?"

A stripper at the Cheetah in Vegas took my TGR hat and wore it backwards for like an hour while she was doing her thang. Too bad Dirk wasn't there to film it...

amateurs. where are the pics?

speaking of hats and strippers...

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Originally Posted by Raps

The lesson in this is.........I should've worn my kevlar boxers

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This is what I read.

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Originally Posted by hardrider

Gotta be the cootch. Gotta be.

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Yes, they did this little stunt too and one even did it with a quarter.....no joke. One kid put a quarter in his teeth and she picked it up with her cooter.....it was pretty gross - he washed his face after....she wasn't that clean to say the very least.....
And sorry no pics, they were pretty anal about that....

P.S.- Splat, that is some fucked up shit man....

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Originally Posted by Raps

One kid put a quarter in his teeth and she picked it up with her cooter.....

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oh my.
I've heard about the precision of dart throwing at balloon targets, but a quarter? That's talent.

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Originally Posted by splat

.....and put the girls on him. In the end he was sucked, fucked, and pissed on....

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And this was PUNISHMENT?

Why cheap strippers suck reason #568...

Aren't reasons #1 thru #567 "forty dollars"?

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Originally Posted by snorkeldeep

amateurs. where are the pics?

speaking of hats and strippers...

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We gotta hang out in NY SOON!

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Originally Posted by Raps

And sorry no pics, they were pretty anal about that....

....

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Hmmmmmm. Interesting word choice. Anything else you wanna tell us?