No snow in the PNW so... [TR]
November 9th, after lots of research it was decided that the snow was not coming to us, so it was upon us to find it....
On a partly sunny, 50 Degree, November afternoon, two uneeded Crystal Mountain patrollers, Nick and Todd sat in a loaded up F-150 parked in a dirt brown Crystal Mountain employee housing parking lot. Homeless, with high pressure looming and no real plan other than to ski, drink beer and cut down a few trees we set out for the Tahoe Region complete with skis, a chainsaw and a rack of PBR on what would later become a 3000 mile, six state, two week drinking binge. Along the way we skied 5 areas in two states and learned a few things. Among them, the definition of fire hazard in Bear Valley California, cars with plexiglas roofs kickass, that there are places were snow falls on a bluebird day, Salt Lake and Tahoe are the same distance from Seattle and that even snowboarders can be cool.
First destination Bear Valley, unfortunantly though not to go skiing. You see, Todd's parents own an unimproved lot there. After recently receiving a letter from some attourney alleging a fire hazard on the property they dispatch Todd, a member of a USFS Hot Shot crew to do a little fuels reduction. I decided to go along for the ride since, well what the hell else did I have to do, and I figured we could get in couple days turns before heading back home. Reaching Bear Valley in a snow storm, with 2 feet of snow on the ground we drive on up to the property to take a look at the task at hand. We find a thinly wooded 1/3 acre lot, the middle of three, completely surrounded by a road with a lake to the east. Not knowing a whole lot about wild land fire even I think there's not a lot of hazard here that can be reduced. Besides with no ignition source on the property if it somehow does catch fire, it's cause everything else is already up in blazes.
We decide to pay a visit to the local fire marshall, he just happens to know which lot we are there about and informs us that it is more of a "beautification" issue. The neighbors building their half million dollar homes are unhappy about look of the standing dead trees. WTF??? Dead trees??? you mean snags??? The home of many a happy forest creature, you live in the freaking woods, deal with it, it's part of nature.
Well, we're here and it's cold, needing a little wood for a small fire we get to work and fall a few trees. One thing lead to another and before we know it we've put down about 3 cords of wood and started a bonfire that actually created its own climate. This thing was frigging HUGE, it had the ability to incinerate a 5 foot long 36" semi-wet round in about an hour. Now I'm not one to recklessly burn wood that could be used to heat someone's home but the neighbors had pissed us off and we where making damn sure they weren't getting any of it, so burn baby burn. In the end we did leave about half a cord stacked up though, in the interest of a little karma and all since they did atleast provide us with the means to get to CA.
After burning a gaping hole in the snow nearly 40 feet wide and 3 feet to the ground, and having consumed the first of many cases of beer, we departed for Kirkwood the following day. Only eleven miles away by crow but 120 by car we arrived to darkness and falling snow. Having no idea where the overnight parking lot was we set up behind Red Cliff lodge about 100 yards from the recently torched power house, broke out the grill, made some burgers and had a few.
Bluebird, 6 inches and free passes, we hit chair 6 for the first run of the season. Taking it all in on the way up it is decided that maybe we should ski a groomer first. Yeah right, as soon as were we off the chair we head across lost cabin, I decide to stay high and found myself above what would later be found to be cliff chute, picking my way in over a couple 5 footers, having already decided there was no taking it easy to be done we ravaged our legs till neither of us could stand. We headed down to the patrol room to have a few with our compatriots including one former Crystal Patroller who offers us a couch or two and a warm place to hang in south lake.
Later that night we're rolling down South Lake Tahoe blvd, in a mint condition early eighty's Oldsmobile, complete with bull horns on the hood and a full Plexiglas roof. To my right is one of the hottest, coolest skier chicks ever, she's a Kirkwood patroller, the only one infact. To my left is Todd and a half rack, upfront are two more Kirkweed trollers. Hell yeah, it's 60 miles to Reno, we've got bull horns, a tank full of gas, a half rack of beer, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
The lights of Reno have a little extra sparkle through a half rack and a plexiglas roof, plans are to hit the Titty bars, but first things first to the ski swap we go. Two pairs of skis, 1 speed suit three sizes too small, a pair of poles and a blue, 5 dollar Bogner 1 piece later where back at the bull horns trying to figure out how five people and two pairs or 200+ cm skis fit in the car. Not really sure how the rest of the night went, but it involved In and Out burger, a hot girl and Bushmill's at the Genoa bar. Somehow the titty bar got missed, but I didn't really notice till the next morning.
So that's it for now, cause if I keep going no one is going to read all this, more tomorrow. Including how to not get your ass handed to you after telling your skier girlfriend your in Utah and have decided to go to Alta instead of coming home as planned...
