While loitering in Sports Ltd last season I heard some incredibly dumb ass questions (and equally retarded replies from the sales staff). If you've worked in a ski shop what are the weirdest and just plain stupidest questions you've been asked?
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While loitering in Sports Ltd last season I heard some incredibly dumb ass questions (and equally retarded replies from the sales staff). If you've worked in a ski shop what are the weirdest and just plain stupidest questions you've been asked?
"Is this price for one ski or two?"
And of course, "What are 'skier types'?...[answer]...oh, I'm type 3 then."
Here's some bits of ony of my all-time favorite shop conversation:
Me:"what is your shoe size"
Her "I have no idea"
"how much do you wiegh?"
"I don't know"
"how do these boots feel?"
"I dunno"
"Do these boots feel too tight?"
"I don't know"
"Well, do they feel like they are squeezing tightly on your feet?"
"uh, I'm not sure"
"can you move your feet around inside the boot?"
"um, I can't tell for sure"
It went downhill from there....
Oliver Stone (yes, the movie director) came into the rental shop in Telluride and I was the lucky guy who got to help him. Boots, poles, skis....the whole rental sha-bang.
Next day he storms in and says, "Tapper, you gave me 2 right skis! How am I supposed to ski on 2 right skis?"
Perplexed I am, to say the least. Until I look at the sticker b/t the bindings which shows tourists which edge to put on the outside (thus saving the inside edge for later in the season, when you switch the sticker).
He happened to get a rental pair that, while matching up, did in fact have stickers that both pointed in the "right" direction.
Way to go, Oliver. :rolleyes: I guess you were right. Buttwad.
On a December morning at the mountian: "What will the weather be like when I come back here for spring break?"
"I need you to stone grind my edges and sidewalls."
Me: "You really need these skis tuned, there is a lot of rust on your edges."
Joey: "That's ok. It will all come off on my first run."
:eek:
why don't they make rear entry boots anymore?
That's not a dumb question... My feet would love to be back in a pair of these bad boys.Quote:
Originally Posted by mildbill.
http://members.aol.com/webb3617/03771.jpg
One time I tuned some totally thrashed skis. I was really proud that I brought them back from the dead for this frat boy. He came in to pick them up, paid for them and left. A couple hours later he brings them back in all pissed off because I didn't wax and structure all the way up the tip to the very end. I explained that he would not be skiing on his tips and I had waxed and structured the running length of the ski that would be on the snow, but he was tweaked because the ski didn't look finished. So finally I run his skis back into the shop and wax the tips, and when I brought them out he got even more bent because a drop of wax dripped around to his top sheet. He thought it would mess with the aerodynamics of the ski. I flicked it off with my finger nail and told him to have a nice day. I think he was from Nebraska.
:rolleyes:
I'm not so sure those are all bad questionsQuote:
Originally Posted by bdog
I mean spring break could be warm and in the high 30-40's as opposed constant low 20's or what ever.
and Joeys comment, mirorrs how Bob Mc feels about his skis and tuning :D
I think I'm willing to give Oliver the benefit of the doubt on this one. How would he know why they are marked that way? And I bet it gave him a good excuse that day. "I'd be skiing so much better if that JONG in the ski shop hadn't given me two right skis! I'm gonna go down there and go Sgt. Barnes on his ass!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Tap
Are thous things skis? Point at a pair of pocket rockets, located directly under a salomon skis banner
(this space reserved for Evil E's story about the guy who came into Boulder Ski Deals asking if E could WAX HIS POLES)
sometimes it's what you see before the stupid ass question is even asked. boot shop guys used to see this every now and then, picture this:
guy from texas walking down the sidewalk headed to your store with a pair of the old nordicas on his feet. one boot has the whole front end broken clean off, liner sticking out, with 1/2 the boot in hand. as if this wasn't enough to die from laughter, the guy comes in and asks you if you can epoxy his boot back together. honest story... :eek:
Jong: Hey my skis dont slide
Me: Oh let me take a look
(flip over skis and my hand sticks to base)
what the heck did you put on these!?
Jong: wax, Super good stuff my buddy brought up from San diego
Me: does your buddy know much about skiing?
Jong: Not really but hes semi-pro surfer.
Me: Dude is this surf wax?
Jong: yeah but its all the same right?
Me: laughing histerically
Since it wasnt a busy day I take the skis back and try to clean the bases with our solvent, Nothing doing. I try scraping, still not much luck, SO, when no one is looking I slide them over the sandpaper belt. I would never do this to a real pair of skis but these still had the 5.00 thrift store price tag on them.
Me: want a new coat of REAL Wax?
jong: NO way! that costs more than the skis did you Guys Are a rip off!
Me: yeah that $8 hot wax is way overpriced. HAVE a nice day bud.
^^^^
ROFL!!
i'm all hungover, and still buzzed from night before and i'm in the ski shop first thing in the morning..i usually do my own tunes but for whatever reason i didn't have time and needed one real bad:
me: "morning, can i get a sharpening and wax on these"
shop rat: "sure no problem, you need these fast?"
me: "uhhhhm, no, just a normal tune is fine"
shop rat: "<chuckle> no i mean do you need these right away?"
me: "oh, um, no, no, no rush"
Think i made his morning though.
I did love overhearing a sales guy in Sports Ltd telling a gomer how Volkl and Atomic made lousy skis because their ski factories were in Germany and not in the mountains whereas Fischer skis were made in the Austrian mountains and therefore had to be better.
Or was it mere coincidence that their racks were stuffed with Fischers?
Oh, God. Too many to list (and remember.)
"Do you have any skis that will match my suit?"
"Here you go" (lady returning skis)
"Ma'am, those aren't our skis"
"I know, but I don't feel like walking to (the other shop)"
"I read in Ski Magazine that..." (big fucking headache about to happen)
"Can you adjust my bindings? My boots don't fit in my skis"
"Sir, those are not the skis we rented to you" (have other shop's sticker on them)
"Oh, I know, but these are much faster according to my friend."
"Why are you scraping those skis?"
"Well, the bases are fuzzy from the belt-grind someone gave them..."
"But how will the wax stick to them, now?"
And the ever popular:
"My boots hurt."
"They're on the wrong feet."
Ladies and gentleman we have a winner!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Ooh. Good question!
"Which boot goes on which foot?"
"How many poles should my eight year old be using?"
"Where do moguls come from, are they stored in a building during the summer?"
"Do you really know what you are doing?"
Some of the stories mentioned above reminded me...
A guy once came in asking for a wax & tune, but he specifically asked that I put the slow wax on them as he was going too fast and losing control (keep in mind that Swiss Valley, MI has about 800ft of vertical.) I said "sure thing."
A guy was milling around in the shop in the old Nordicas mentioned earlier. He was looking at new boots, but was shocked by the prices. As he was walking out, the toe on his right boot collapsed. As he turned around, the heel on his left did also. Yeah, he bought new boots.
Nice!!!! Swiss Ditch!!!! That's where I made my first turns.
And there is no way there is 800 ft. there.
far too many people on this board have skied Swiss Valley. Astonishingly it has only 225 vertical. Maybe 800 total run length.Quote:
Originally Posted by FNG
Texan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Texan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Texan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Texan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Texan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
Nebraskan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tippster
:D