The physical.

Well the other day I decided being the grown-up responsible adult that I am that maybe I should go in for a physical (my first in maybe 5 years). I guess when you get older what goes down in the physical tends to change. The doc (female) went through all the usual stuff then had me stand-up and drop my pants. I was a little concerned to say the least. Then she went ahead and told me that men (just like women) need to do self-exams for cancer. She then proceeded to fondle my balls. I was a bright red color as she told me how I should be doing this in the shower once a week. I got the "all clear" and quickly pulled my pants back-up. She then handed me her card and said "Kaiser is wanting their patients to pick a primary care provider and you don't have one listed. I would be happy to be your primary care provider." I was feeling really awkward at that point. Fortunately a nurse came in to give me a tetanus (sp?) booster shot or the like. The shot was no big deal at the time, but now I can't hardly lift my right arm.

So anywho, screw being a responsible adult and never ever go to the doctor again. They're bad people and they want to hurt you.

ehhhh...docs are OK, but dentists are out to kill....there is NOTHING worse than going to the dentist.....NOTHING


unless its a ninja dentist ofcourse

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Originally posted by meatdrink9

So anywho, screw being a responsible adult and never ever go to the doctor again. They're bad people and they want to hurt you.

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LOL

And if the dentist fondles your balls, look out!

Edit: Wait a minute. Didn't Z just insult, like, more than half the board? I can't be the only dentist left on here.

Wait until you're old enough for the self-prostate exam lecture.

just wait till they start giving you the old slick finger treatment! :eek:

Mooon RIVER

You usin the whole fist there Doc?

Just relax

Was the doctor cute?

LOL hard!!

I had that done about a year ago. I know how to fondle my balls, but I can never remember the "test for cancer" procedure after the "oh man, time to drop trou" and you get all flustered.

Reminds me, I am supposed to do this physical again soon. Company pays 100% and I have two months left to get it in this year.

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Originally posted by Z
ehhhh...docs are OK, but dentists are out to kill....there is NOTHING worse than going to the dentist.....NOTHING


unless its a ninja dentist ofcourse

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I saw this a blockbuster's and thought of GT:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...1.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

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Originally posted by Schmear
And if the dentist fondles your balls, look out!

Edit: Wait a minute. Didn't Z just insult, like, more than half the board? I can't be the only dentist left on here.

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GT has the Mtn Bike bug big time, like 3 bikes now, so he is always over at Sprockets.

Dont feel lonely.

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Originally posted by Buzzworthy
hard!!

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I think that was implied.


PS. Z is an anti-dentite. Boo!

Doc was attractive. Made it much more awkward.

And the only time I've been afraid of dentists was while sneaking back into their houses while not sober in high school. ;)

Quote:

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Originally posted by meatdrink9
Well the other day I decided being the grown-up responsible adult that I am that maybe I should go in for a physical (my first in maybe 5 years). I guess when you get older what goes down in the physical tends to change. The doc (female) went through all the usual stuff then had me stand-up and drop my pants. I was a little concerned to say the least. Then she went ahead and told me that men (just like women) need to do self-exams for cancer. She then proceeded to fondle my balls. I was a bright red color as she told me how I should be doing this in the shower once a week. I got the "all clear" and quickly pulled my pants back-up. She then handed me her card and said "Kaiser is wanting their patients to pick a primary care provider and you don't have one listed. I would be happy to be your primary care provider." I was feeling really awkward at that point. Fortunately a nurse came in to give me a tetanus (sp?) booster shot or the like. The shot was no big deal at the time, but now I can't hardly lift my right arm.

So anywho, screw being a responsible adult and never ever go to the doctor again. They're bad people and they want to hurt you.

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BWA

Because I work in the Haz-Waste industry I get a very thorough physical exam every year. Thorough includes a prostate check as well as a check for blood in the stool. Though my doctor is an attractive woman, hearing "I need to go just a little bit further up to get a smear sample on my finger tip" is never sexy.

The depth of the anal probe is directly proportional to your age. So, youngsters, grit for it.

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Originally posted by slim
"I need to go just a little bit further up to get a smear sample on my finger tip" is never sexy.

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+2 points if the next she says that, you respond with a breathy, "Yeah, work it."

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Originally posted by phUnk
+2 points if the next she says that, you respond with a breathy, "Yeah, work it."

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LOL! That's f-in funny. Still laughing!

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Originally posted by Buster Highmen
The depth of the anal probe is directly proportional to your age.

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Can we get that with more of a "the rain in spain..." beat?

Try laying there, totally vulnerable, while the oncologist "feels" your parts for anymore signs of cancer...yeah, that was the worst naked 10 minutes of my life.

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Originally posted by Snow Dog

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...1.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

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Her expression has some definite phunk-esque avatar potential.
Looks a little like she just got...snuck up on.

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Originally posted by meatdrink9
Fortunately a nurse came in to give me a tetanus (sp?) booster shot or the like. The shot was no big deal at the time, but now I can't hardly lift my right arm.

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So whats the problem??:) Thats normal though... I went to a NORBA national a day after a tetnus. That was a fun experience...

Quote:

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Originally posted by meatdrink9
Doc was attractive. Made it much more awkward.

And the only time I've been afraid of dentists was while sneaking back into their houses while not sober in high school. ;)

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You had a problem with an attractive doc fondling your balls. Hmmmmm, she would have to tell me to put my pants back up, I definitely wouldn't have volunteered:D Myself I would much rather have a female doc than a male doc do that!:eek:

Quote:

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Originally posted by meatdrink9
Well the other day I decided being the grown-up responsible adult that I am that maybe I should go in for a physical (my first in maybe 5 years)....

Doc was attractive. Made it much more awkward.

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I did the same thing about a year ago... Went to a new doc for the first time in at least 5 years, got the physical and the same "cancer check". Trust me. Having a male doctor doesn't make it any better.

Consider this... Would you rather have an old guy fondling your nuts, or a cute woman?

It's not a question of who's doing the fondling, just that there is fondling going down at all. I guess I would probably be happiest if a guy in a Ronald McDonald suit did the fondling as it would bring back childhood memories. [/making self vomit for a joke]

I 've only been to a western doctor twice since '96 or so for a tetnus shot after I cut my foot badly on vacation in Europe in '99,& March '03 when I got my noggin sliced by my ski edge at Alta.
I generally go for acupuncture & chinese herbal remedies.
Hey MD9 ,that's depraved,lacking in discretion ,decorum & dignity, untterly devoid of any redeeming qualities & riotously funny.Why do all the freaks gravitate towords your magnetic field I wonder?
Maybe next time,she'll ask you for a protein shake sample!!!