Good Vibes Needed

I debated if I should post this or not but I'm feeling pretty shitty and good vibes/ positive thoughts might help.

My wife moved out today. I won't go into the details because those should be between myself and her (and the counselor we are going to see). All I'll say is that its been a long time coming, we've both fought like hell and tried to make it work, but at this time its probably for the best. Fuck man I feel like shit. I don't know what else to say and I'll probably end up deleting this later but fkna I never saw myself in this situation.

Yikes man. Sorry to hear about this. Weren't you and the wife celebrating an anniversary a couple weeks ago? Positive vibes sent.

Bummer dude.

Hope things turn out for the best, whatever that is.

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Originally posted by iskibc
Yikes man. Sorry to hear about this. Weren't you and the wife celebrating an anniversary a couple weeks ago? Positive vibes sent.

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Yep

When things aren't working out, and you've tried and tried, cut your losses, or you'll only lengthen the pain. This might be the most difficult obstacle in life to overcome....we all want things to work out with the one we love. Sometimes shit isn't going to work out, and you gotta pull yourself up and be a soldier through that shit.

Be strong amigo, be good to yourself.

positive vibes sent. Best of success in this time of trials.

It sounds superficial but it'll snow soon. Gotta start somewhere, right?

Positive vibes sent. Hope things work out for the best.

My best to both of you, Doood.

I'm sure it's going to be a tough road for you for a while. Good luck however things turn out.

Damn man, sorry to hear. Best of luck to the both of you.

planks,
I went through the same thing just over a year ago and I very much know what it is like. I'm in the windy city too so feel free to pm me if you want to go for a beer or whatever bra.
chin up as best you can.
Mark

oh man... that's tough. Positive vibes.

Try to remember that what people say, or say they are going to do when upset isn't necessarily the way things end up.

That said... take good, basic care of you, my man. Eat, sleep etc. it really does help. I never saw myself there, or here either, but you know, after all of it, life is still good.

Hey man, you know we're here for you if there's anything at all you want/need that we can hook you up with. a wise man once told me...

"Ben, there's only going to be one girl that you're not going to break up with."

If she's the one, then do what you can to make her realize just how much you care about her. Never stop wooing the girl...

It always hurts to hear of someone who is suffering.
My thoughts and prayers are sent out to both of you.
I've been on that same road myself (completely due to my own stupidity, I can place very little to no blame on my wife) but the end result worked out to be a much better relationship. I'm hoping for the same outcome for you. If that isn't in the cards it may be all for the best for everyone concerned.
Hang in there, be strong, take care of yourself, make sure she is taking care of herself, and when things start to get heated think over every word you say at least 3 times before you say it. It's the things you say that you wish you hadn't that haunt the most, and those words never go away. If it won't make a positive difference then just let those thoughts slide on by.

Good Luck, to both of you!

sorry to hear that.

remember less then 100 days till the chair lifts spin again

Much love, two planks. Hang in there, and like Blurred said, be good to yourself!

Sorry man, that really sucks!!! I know how it hurts. There isn't anything anyone here can say that will make that change. I'm sending some positive vibes your way. Hopefully knowing that there's a host of online kooks who care about you helps in some small way.

Not that it's going to make you feel better, t_p, but - I'm actually going through some tough times at home too. Relationships are strange. Well, they have been for me anyways. They ARE work. (Are they *supposed* to be?) Putting it in the simplest terms ~ If you've done everything you can to TRY to keep it going, and one or both of you are still unhappy.....Then it's best to let go.


Just last week, a very good friend of mine likened his 7 year marriage (and subsequent divorce) to learning how to waterski:

At first, you're holding on so tight because you're afraid to fall - white knuckles all the way. But you DO fall. And even though it hurts, and you're beating the shit out of yourself ~ You try again.

As you go on, you get more comfortable. You find yourself relaxing your grip and it becomes a "surprise" when you fall. It still hurts, but dammit - you're gonna figure this out.

You push on, and it's been a while since you've fallen ~ You're just cruising....Then you realize:

I hurt. All over. My hands hurt from holding on, my thighs are burning, my neck is tweaked from one of the dozen times I've spilled..........What the hell am I doing?

What do you do? Let go. Just *let go*. Yeah, it's a strange barrier to break, because it's against everything you've been pushing yourself to learn. But once you do? Instead of crashing into a brick wall, you just slow down & kind of melt into the water. No violent bounces, no white knuckles.

edit: There was a point. :rolleyes:
Letting go is never easy. But as with everything - time heals. You may just find yourself looking at life in general as an "opportunity" again - something I think we tend to lose with age & complacency.

Two_planker - Sorry to hear about your situation. Positive vibes headed your way.

Damn-it! I actually agree with Blurred?!? What's up with THAT?

If you've already tried your hardest and things are still not working out, then maybe it's best that you part ways. You need to be happy and you should want her to be as happy as possible. In the long run, maybe you both will be happier apart?

Sometimes when you've turned things over in your head a thousand times and it still hurts like f*ck and there's nothing more you can do about it for the time being; you've just got to be good to yourself (broken record.) It always gets better.

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Hopefully knowing that there's a host of online kooks who care about you helps in some small way.

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Its fucking strange, but true. Basically what you all are saying is what I've been telling myself for months. Sometimes I think you just need to hear from some one else. Even if it is a bunch of online kooks.

I was talking to her last night and she was saying that this sucks and she is in definate low point in her life right now. I told her that no matter what happens with us at this point we'll both end up better off and happier than we are right now. I was like holy shit I should listen to my own advise. Even that little thought is already making feel better and damn it I'll be skiing soon.

All the best of making a best of a crapy situation. Which in the short term day by day. In my marriage some of the greatest break throughs have come after coming close to the abyss. But its a gut wrentching place to be and only you know or think you know how its going to turn out.

Doug

Yes, I am still a JONG but I wanted to send my regards. Best of luck no matter what comes of this difficult time. Follow your heart...and ONLY YOUR heart. Only you and she know what is best in the end.

Dude, I've been there and all I can say is after time it'll pass . . . fosho.

Focus on your health and the upcoming ski season.

Women/Men = Baggage (from a male/female rockstar/skier standpoint)

Here's some inspiration:

http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/rya...com/ryanbadtke

Peace, be strong and know you have friends here!