My coworkers are fucking idiots.

Fucking. Idiots.

Unintelligent. No critical-thinking skills. No ability to figure anything out. Outside-voiced-in-cubicle-land 30-minute personal call making idiots. Let's-do-it-the-most-obvious-and-work-intensive-way-instead-of-finding-a-smart-way-to-do-it.

They're like goddamn cavemen. You give them something to fix (just changing some text around) and they furrow their brow, run away from it and hide in the back of the cave, put it in their mouth and try to eat it, sniff it, try to club a squirrel for lunch with it.

Anything I give them, I have to make backup copies of first, because I know they'll fuck it up and I'll end up redoing it all myself.

Fuck.

Time to buy an Assault Rifle.

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Originally posted by phUnk
Fucking. Idiots.

Unintelligent. No critical-thinking skills. No ability to figure anything out. Outside-voiced-in-cubicle-land 30-minute personal call making idiots. Let's-do-it-the-most-obvious-and-work-intensive-way-instead-of-finding-a-smart-way-to-do-it.

They're like goddamn cavemen. You give them something to fix (just changing some text around) and they furrow their brow, run away from it and hide in the back of the cave, put it in their mouth and try to eat it, sniff it, try to club a squirrel for lunch with it.

Anything I give them, I have to make backup copies of first, because I know they'll fuck it up and I'll end up redoing it all myself.

Fuck.

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PhUnk, when did you start working here?? I had no idea. Stop by and say hi sometime, dammit!

Call it whatever you will, but the management of others is adult daycare!!!

I feel you, phUnk. My bosses are so retardito that I cannot possibly understand how they've made sooooo much money. I just watched one of them use 35 minutes to take the kickstand off his bike. I thought about picking it up and beating him with it, but I think it'd only make things worse.

You know how I feel.

Lower yourself to their level.

You'll thank me for that tip later.

As an unfrozen caveman lawyer, and head of the Caveman Anti-Defamation League, I demand that you remove your flagrantly derogatory comments from the interweb. I also note that, were your co-workers actual cavemen, they would be trying to mate with the Xerox machine and smearing the walls of their cubicles with faeces- NOT making personal phone calls.

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Originally posted by bad_roo
Lower yourself to their level.

You'll thank me for that tip later.

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I've started skipping things I think are just beyond stupid because I know nobody else documents anything, so they won't remember that they asked me to do it. I feel guilty about it, but it keeps me from being guilty of murder later on (today.)

I also pretend I don't have time to do the stuff that my manager should be smart enough (read: at least as smart as a pile of rocks) to give to non-technical people w/nothing else to do.

FKNB.

Buy a box of donuts, and hand one out with each task. Works wonders.

PHKNA
edit:
(they're probly cruising some message board bitchin about you)

You are making a grave mistake by failing to identify proper management skills and upward corporate mobility strategy.

Accept the fact that people are stoopid, manipulative and lazy or join me in the ranks of the technologically toileted.

All phUnk does all day is walk around and ask us if we want to look at his toe nails. Then he tells us about being spancered.

After that he starts talking jibberish....what is a "reacharound" and who is this "Iceman"?

Most ignorant statement uttered by one of the guys in charge of training on a training trip at my last job:

(We are walking up hill in thigh deep snow that has fallen in the last 36 hours, its still snowing and windy)

Me "maybe we should think about avalanche stuff"

Idiot " It doesn't matter if we think about it or not because if something comes down when we're up there we won't be able to run away in all this snow"

He wanted to get to the summit, the idea of not going if we thought it wasn't safe obviosly never crossed his mind (if he has one)

Great guy to be "training" people though :rolleyes:

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Originally posted by phUnkscoworkers
All phUnk does all day is walk around and ask us if we want to look at his toe nails. Then he tells us about being spancered.

After that he starts talking jibberish....what is a "reacharound" and who is this "Iceman"?

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If you were really one of my coworkers, you'd know I wear sandals so people have to look at my toe nails and everyone here knows I'm spancered because I always wear my "Spancered" warmup jacket at work.

Faker.

Sounds very reminiscent of my day yesterday. Was there a memo I missed that explained why everyone has their head up their asses?

http://www.baconzoo.com/downloads/mymanager.jpg

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Originally posted by phUnk
If you were really one of my coworkers, you'd know I wear sandals so people have to look at my toe nails and everyone here knows I'm spancered because I always wear my "Spancered" warmup jacket at work.

Faker.

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So...you don't deny talking about reacharounds and Iceman.

<vent on>
<call to tech support>

me -> uh, when i try to print this report using adobe it crashes. i have to reboot my pc then because everyting is frozen.

them -> have you rebooted your pc?

me -> i just said that

them -> sorry (delay) ... have you reloaded your application?

me -> don't you guys have some sort of database to look up common problems? every time i call i seem to get the same 'reboot, then reload, then the "fill in real solution here" ' ?

them -> we're only 25 people here, we don't have time to waste on other solutions. hearsay and rumour are our two chief weapons.

me -> can you ask someone else?

them -> yeh, maybe, hold on... (3 minute delay) . ok, what version of adobe?

me -> 6.02

them -> has to be 5, we don't support 6.

me -> thanks, that was easy wasn't it? how do i load an older version?

them -> we don't support 6. reboot then reload your application

me -> thank you

</end call to tech support>

</vent off>

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Originally posted by phUnkscoworkers
So...you don't deny talking about reacharounds and Iceman.

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Hey, you take care of your wingman and he takes care of you.

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They're like goddamn cavemen. You give them something to fix (just changing some text around) and they furrow their brow, run away from it and hide in the back of the cave, put it in their mouth and try to eat it, sniff it, try to club a squirrel for lunch with it.

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Fucking classic :D!

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Originally posted by phUnk

Outside-voiced-in-cubicle-land 30-minute personal call making idiots.

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I have a massive problem with this here too. I totally sympathize-- and shy of choking the life out of their loud shrill throats, there's nothing to do but wear headphones all day...
:rolleyes:
Sprite

Try working where i do...friggin newbie resident doctors who dont have a friggin clue what they are doing. It makes you wonder how they got through med school. Then you have the laziest nurses and aides who think they are getting paid to talk on the phone all night while my stupid ass is running around taking care of the patients and not to mention the retarted parents of said patients...most of them should be sterilized at birth.

Thank you for your time during my rant...we now return you to your regularly scheduled shitty day :mad:

Personal calls - check (cell and desk phones - check, check)
Personal issues brought to work place - check
Tearful outbursts - check
Slammed phones - check (and doors check)
Collective PMS - check (even some male employees - check)
$50 a day Starbucks habit - check
Atkins diet obsessives - check
Inability to operate anything more complicated than light switch - check
Yuppie gym/yoga/pilates addicts - check
Middle age crisis victims hitting on young female staff - check
10 minutes late in morning - 10 minutes early in afternoon - check, check

Roger, we are cleared for another day in the office

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Originally posted by KrisSkis
Try working where i do...friggin newbie resident doctors who dont have a friggin clue what they are doing. It makes you wonder how they got through med school. Then you have the laziest nurses and aides who think they are getting paid to talk on the phone all night while my stupid ass is running around taking care of the patients and not to mention the retarted parents of said patients...most of them should be sterilized at birth.

Thank you for your time during my rant...we now return you to your regularly scheduled shitty day :mad:

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Have you met Max yet... you know he wants to be a doctor.