Breast feeding: the Pros and Amateurs

Did the nickles get shiney when they ran shrieking with glee through the fountains of youth? Ponce De Leon was there, but he looked old and haggard, constantly worring about the ruffles in his collar. The ice cream man came through and they had a special on ice breast cream. mmmmm. Yummy. THe tinny honking of that cheesy electronic horn. Oh well, as long as it's breast cheese.
Most of the time as a parent I feel so inadequate. I can't lactate. But studies have shown that men can lactate. So I must be doing something wrong.
Are there any pros out there?

Buster! Whatever you're smoking...stop it now!!
:eek:
Lol!!
Sprite

I dunno, B, but I had a friend in high school who could squirt liquid out of his nipples on the people sitting in front of him.

Hope this helps,

R

Gee, most people tell me to smoke more. So I do.

When a wise man said, "You must experience everything life has to offer," I think he operated on the basic assumption that some things would be excluded. Perhaps you could methaphorically lacate? That'd be kinda cool.

You can milk anything with nipples!

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Originally posted by Keoni
You can milk anything with nipples!

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rats?

pigs?

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Originally posted by snowsprite
Buster! Whatever you're smoking...stop it now!!

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.........and pass it this way......

I think this is a thread for the milkman.....

thank you Jah for this wonderful thread & the kooks that have posted herein.
I laughso hard cuz my belly is full

from lunch with another good friend.

any of you guys ever tasted breast milk? rotten cantalope, just like it. just thought i'd share.

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Originally posted by Pinner
rats?

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Wasn't there a scene in The Simpsons where Homer was horrified when he saw rats being milked? I'm not a huge aficionado, but I swear I saw that.

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Originally posted by flykdog
any of you guys ever tasted breast milk? rotten cantalope, just like it. just thought i'd share.

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And how do you know what rotten cantalope tastes like?

I'm so glad there's a place where I can go chat about guys squirting liquid out of their nipples onto people in front of them.

In grade school, in the foetid heat of a midwest summer at the drag races, all we could do was to stomp mayonnasie, ketchup or mustard packets, splattering the sweaty drunks in the grandstand with goo and then run laughing maniacally into the pits to get lost among the exhaust and roar of the nitroburners.

Can diesels run on breast milk?

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Originally posted by Pinner
rats?

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Yeah, you just try and milk a rat...

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Originally posted by Pinner
rats?

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I used to work on a farm...we milked rats, pigs, whatever...

I wonder what Mary felt when God spent his seed. Did she lactate sin free?

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Originally posted by flykdog
any of you guys ever tasted breast milk?

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Not on purpose:eek:

I have never heard of a dude lactating...but I suppose anything's possible.

What's amazing about bfeeding is the incredible amount you produce. Pregnancy & childbirth: it's just wacky, wierd stuff.

Heh...I bet the La Leche league would totally love this thread!!
:D
Sprite

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Originally posted by flykdog
any of you guys ever tasted breast milk? rotten cantalope, just like it. just thought i'd share.

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And placenta tastes just like chicken.

As a representative of the Universal Society of Yaks, I'd like to advise the forum that yaks, worldwide are incensed at being neglected when it comes to milk.
Yak milk is extremely tastly, nuitritious and rarely compared to rotting vegetables except in a sexual context. At the heart of the matter is whether it's better to enjoy a sun warmed rotting melon or a hot yak.

You decide.

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Originally posted by Viva
Yeah, you just try and milk a rat...

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ametuer


http://www.cae.wisc.edu/~bme201/milking/

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Although methods for milking cows or goats have long been established, very little work has been done with milking rats. Methods have been described to "milk" rats by hand, but these are very time intensive and little milk is collected. There are some reports of milking machines for rats. We have these references. Additionally, there are commercially available breast pumps for humans to use and we own one pump. We have rigged up a simple milking machine have attempted "milking" of rat mothers, but desire a more permanent solution to this problem. Our overall goal is to develop a standard method to obtain rat milk from recently delivered rat mothers in order to improve the yield of milk, so that rat milk can be feed artificially to newborn rats.

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Talk about a buzz kill :(

Oh my Gawd...

J Vet Med Sci. 2003 May;65(5):557-62.

An automated experimental milker for rat.

Watanabe T.

Department of Veterinary Biochemistry, College of Bioresource Sciences, Nihon University, Kanagawa, Japan.

The development of sucking pressure was investigated with an artificial nipple in 16 male and female rat pups on postnatal days 4, 7, 10, 14, and 18.....

Based on these results, the maximum level of negative pressure of the automated experimental rat milker was set at -160 mmHg. The automated experimental milker for rat is able to collect milk from lactating mothers by alternating negative and atmospheric pressures through two solenoid valves and a vacuum pump attached to a microcomputer. Mother rats were milked with the automated experimental milker on postpartum days 4, 7, 10, 14 and 18 of a single lactation period. .... rest of abstract is boring