WWMD (Jax Summit related)

Okay, here's the deal. Being absolutely broke, I can only afford one major trip a year. Next year my cousin has decided to get married 2500 miles away from the nearest freind or family is Lost Wages, NV. The wedding is going to be in late April.

So, do I spend the money and attend the wedding, which I probably won't have much fun at anyway, or do I say fuck it and head to Wyoming, bailing on the wedding on the context of "I can't afford it".

In all honesty, I'd rather make the summit, and possibly spend a few days in SLC to ski with the Utards again before or after. The more I think about it, the less I want to go to the wedding.

What would you do?

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Originally posted by Plakespear

So, do I spend the money and attend the wedding, which I probably won't have much fun at anyway, or do I say fuck it and head to Wyoming, bailing on the wedding on the context of "I can't afford it".

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Don't ask sublime. ;)

Is this a cousin you feel particularly fond of or close to? Even if it is...2400 miles is an awful lot of distance to expect one to cover to attend a wedding unless they are your immediate family (and cousins are not immediate).

My personal feeling on this is follow your heart and go skiing. It's what you love to do. Life is too short to be doing a lot of stuff you don't want to do. And from what it sounds like here, this might be skip-able anyway based on distance and obligation factors.

Sprite

Weddings in general suck. Just imagine tacking on a 2500 mile drive.

I think you've made your decision already.

sounds like you already made up your mind. Just don't tell the folks going to the wedding that you are going to Jackson instead. Or better yet, tell them that you have a wedding in Jackson in January.

Send a gift, go to the Summit. Any questions?

depends on the bridesmaids

There's got to be some bridesmades in WY.

This one's no contest. If you feel guilty, ramp the present up to a ridiculous $$$ figure. You'll still have plenty of beer money left for JAX and they'll hardly miss you.

Is this a trick question?

I don't want to steer you away from the summit, but as someone who has skipped a couple of weddings and then massively regretted it, I'll just say this: do you see this person in your life 10 years from now? Do you see them often? Will it feel weird to not have seen the most important day of their life? If the answer is no to all the above, you're at the Summit. If the answer is yes, give it some thought.

I've probably been to 30 or 40 weddings at this point, and I started getting a bit casual about them (skipping them, I mean), and there are two in particular that I really regret. It's actually awkward, because both of these people are friends and to have missed that is very strange.

So... I say go to both and throw it on plastic ;).

Vegas is possibly the cheapest city to visit in the country. You can find decent hotel rooms for $20 (weekdays), and package deals are easy to find. Assuming you don't gamble a lot (nickle slots are your friend), the trip can be really cheap. So, here's what you do:

Put aside like $200 - $300 for the Vegas trip. You can probably find space for that in your budget (sell part of your quiver if you have to). Then a few months before the wedding (but after your trip to Jackson) start looking around for a deal on the trip. If you can't find a deal, you can tell your cousin that you can't afford to go, but you don't have to feel guilty, since you did set aside the money for it, but you just couldn't find a deal. If you do find a deal, great, you can make two trips.At worst, you end up looking like an idiot who didn't plan ahead, which is a whole lot better than being an inconsiderate jerk who blew off his cousins wedding.

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Originally posted by AntiSoCalSkier
At worst, you end up looking like an idiot who didn't plan ahead, which is a whole lot better than being an inconsiderate jerk who blew off his cousins wedding.

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So, getting married in Vegas when 90% of your family is in the Northeast isn't being inconsiderate? Holding a wedding in a location you know it will be impossible for your grandmother to attend isn't being inconsiderate? Forcing everyone who wants to attend to fly to Vegas isn't inconsiderate?

Info: I have probably seen this cousin 4 or 5 times in the last ten years. As far as the guy she's marrying- I will meet him for the first time at the wedding. I don't see missing this wedding as being a big deal. Like I said, half of the relatives on my side aren't going.

If they would have just gotten married in the DC area (cousin and fiancee are from Fairfax Cty) this wouldn't be an issue.

screw it, send a gift and take em out to dinner after the honeymoon sometime.

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Originally posted by Plakespear
So, getting married in Vegas when 90% of your family is in the Northeast isn't being inconsiderate? Holding a wedding in a location you know it will be impossible for your grandmother to attend isn't being inconsiderate? Forcing everyone who wants to attend to fly to Vegas isn't inconsiderate?

Info: I have probably seen this cousin 4 or 5 times in the last ten years. As far as the guy she's marrying- I will meet him for the first time at the wedding. I don't see missing this wedding as being a big deal. Like I said, half of the relatives on my side aren't going.

If they would have just gotten married in the DC area (cousin and fiancee are from Fairfax Cty) this wouldn't be an issue.

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So it is a trick question, huh? You skanky troll, you.

But anyway, if you're even considering going, put down the crack pipe.

I've always associated a Vegas wedding with eloping (unless you live there). IMO, if you want a big wedding w/ all your friends & family involved - you have the wedding where most of them live. If you want a Vegas wedding when a majority of your friends & family are 3000 miles away, accept the fact that you'll likely only get your best friend, parents & siblings (maybe).

Myself, I wouldn't feel at all guilty about blowing the wedding under these conditions.

See you in Jackson:)

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Originally posted by basom
depends on the bridesmaids

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Just what I was thinking. :cool:

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Originally posted by PlayHarder
I've always associated a Vegas wedding with eloping (unless you live there).

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So, if you lived there, where would you have to go to elope?

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So, if you lived there, where would you have to go to elope?

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Wichita, Kansas?

My sister is also getting married in NZ in the first week of Feb and I have told her I can't afford to go.
I figure there's going to be so many people there she won't miss me and I really can't afford it.
I 'm (probably) going to Jackson though. :smile:

Why anyone would do this is beyond me. Do they have some big attachment to Vegas? If not, why not get married by Elvis at the Little White Chapel with a few friends, then have a ceremony in DC? Sweet and simple.

Some friends recently got married in Mexico. It worked out sweet, cause her whole side was from France. They woulda had to fly anyway. So why not Mexico? They had to get married by a Justice of the Peace in Houston before they got married in Mexico (U.S. rules). They did it during their lunch breaks, and then told no one until after the ceremony in Mexico.

If you have your heart set on doing it in a remote location, you can not get pissed when no one shows up. That said, I firmly believe that a couple's wedding day usually has nothing to do with what the couple wants. So good for them.

Here's my rule: If you you're invited; and you moved away from your friends and family; you're obligated to make it back. If the bride and/or groom moves away from their friends and family; they're obligated to have the wedding near their friends and family if they expect everyone to show up.

I think a 5 hour drive is the max distance for one to be obligated to go. Anything more (including flights of any duration) and it's tough to make a saturday wedding in one weekend without taking time off.