The problem with state parks

The state park in my town has some fantastic trails and some gorgeous scenery. But after Saturday's ride, I'm not so sure I want to go back in there.

About halfway into the forest, I cross paths with a guy sporting a National Mountain Bike Patrol jersey. I ask him where a certain trail led to. He gives me the lowdown but then tells me to watch out for the cops. Seems there was an armed robbery the night before and the cops think the suspect is roaming through these woods. "Haven't you seen the helicopter circling overhead? I just hope they don't let the dogs loose."

So, now, here's a list of things I have to worry about in this forest:

1. Gay guys parked at the trailheads looking for some hot action
2. Gay guys roaming the woods, looking for some hot action
3. Armed criminals on the loose perhaps looking to shoot anyone who spooks them and/or take their bike
4. Police attack dogs
edit: 5. Local gun club on the premesis (random gunfire from time to time)

Screw that. It just ain't worth riding in there. Does anyone else have this kind of problem in their local forest?

You forgot 6., idiots parading around as the "National Mountain Bike Patrol".

WTF is that all about?

I am correct in assuming that they take it upon themselves to do more, far more, than simply offer directions?

I hear rednecks shooting guns all the time when I ride. Fortunately, it's not cyclist season yet.

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Originally posted by Frank the Tank
I hear rednecks shooting guns all the time when I ride. Fortunately, it's not cyclist season yet.

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You have camo lycra...right?

7 - riding by a guy wearing camo stroking a rifle.

8 - having to wear bright colors during hunting season because above mentioned redneck apparently can't distinguish a bike rider from a deer/turkey/etc (or maybe he can).

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Originally posted by bagtagley
7 - riding by a guy wearing camo stroking a rifle.

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Shit, this would happen to me during training runs in the Cleveland Natl. Forest in the Fall. Hunting season starts sometime in October and for the first few weeks you're hearing shots ring out constantly. Every once in a while you're running along and suddenly there's someone standing right next to the trail in front of you. The fukkers stand still and blend right in if you're not paying attention.

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Originally posted by JMO


1. Gay guys parked at the trailheads looking for some hot action
2. Gay guys roaming the woods, looking for some hot action
3. Armed criminals on the loose perhaps looking to shoot anyone who spooks them and/or take their bike
4. Police attack dogs
edit: 5. Local gun club on the premesis (random gunfire from time to time)

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What kind of state park are you riding in? The worst thing I have worry about is finding at decent single track.

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Originally posted by Grange
What kind of state park are you riding in?

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The wrong one, apparently.

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Originally posted by JMO

1. Gay guys parked at the trailheads looking for some hot action
2. Gay guys roaming the woods, looking for some hot action

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So THAT's what mildbill's been up to. ;)

So the other day lph, Spats, Pu and I are riding up this trail. At one point, lph turns to me and says, "I'm surprised we haven't seen any bears today."

Me: "Ha ha. Very funny."

lph: "No, I'm serious."

Me: :eek:

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Originally posted by Arty50
So the other day lph, Spats, Pu and I are riding up this trail. At one point, lph turns to me and says, "I'm surprised we haven't seen any bears today."

Me: "Ha ha. Very funny."

lph: "No, I'm serious."

Me: :eek:

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I was further south.