Jury Duty

[ICEHOCEY77]

Got selected today for a federal civil case. $40 a day, per diem of $139 for hotel (government employee discount) and meals, free parking, and 51 cent/mile for gas. Trial is supposed to last 4-5 days. District court is definitely the way to go.

[Ted Striker]

bump...

My 12 angry men blog:

I've managed to be an adult for over 20 years and not get called, so I figured I'd fulfill my civic duty, and not weasel out.

I was supposedly one of 200 yet only 30 showed. So much for coming up with a creative excuse - just don't show up! I asked how many no-shows they get, and the answer was, "We don't know. We don't track that". commonlaw FTW.

They needed 13 out of 30. Shit! This wasn't looking good. First person scratched broke down and cried when asked their first direct question. Serious wingnut, or academy award nominee. Either way, kudos. Next person gone with, "I'm her friend". Nicely played.

Anyone here have any connection to the legal system?

"I'm a border guard" Next! (Thing is, he actually wanted to be picked)

"I'm a lawyer" What type of law? "Immigration" Not good enough, you're staying. " ...series of non sequiturs..." See ya! (funny thing here was that she was trying to make sense, but too self-involved to stay in context)

"I've appeared before this judge before, and have an issue before him currently. Additionally, I have a previous conviction, but my rights have been restored" No problem, you're on the jury. What in the fuck? Actually, I was kinda glad he made it because he was entertaining in the jury room.

Has anyone been the victim of a crime?

About half of us.

Has anyone ever witnessed a crime?

Only me. Wait, what? How is that possible?

You're not originally from this county are you?

to be continued

[PNWbrit]

You're not originally from this county are you?

Seriously, this question was asked during Jury selection? WTF!?

[Ted Striker]

Yes, by the prosecuting attorney. Since I was apparently the only person to have witnessed a crime, I "must not be from 'round these parts". Ironically, a local bank was robbed that very day.

The defense attorney had some interesting questions as well: How do you feel about poor people? Do they deserve to be poor? Should they have worked harder?
She was subtly arguing her case too: Do you think it's possible for a woman to get a protection order against a man who hasn't abused or threatened her in any way? Can the man be a victim?

She had a nice ass too.

Taking the obvious bait worked - or didn't...

Who here really wants to be on a jury?

Milton Waddams raises his hand. Civic duty, scales of justice, something in Klingon, 12-sided die, unintelligible muttering...
Thanks for playing! What's Milton's parting gift, Don?

Who thinks this is a waste of time, and really doesn't want to do this?

A few hands go up.
OK.

You have got to be kidding me! I could've had a V8?! Facepalm.


You thirteen be back after lunch. As for the rest of you, the Grand Ave Ale House is only three blocks south.

[PNWbrit]

My bad.

I misread it. Thought you'd written country.

Was going to suggest you report them to local bar association. If the judge hadn't already.

[Ted Striker]

Yeah, it was Whatcom County Superior Court, so many of the potential jurors are farmers, or don't live in town. I guess it's pretty quiet out there... except for the Russian Mafia.

[TomCrac]

Ha.... When you said it was "the Whatcom County Superior Court" the first thing that popped onto my head was wouldn't it be funny if they started selling naming rights to the courts.... Ok ... Maybe just funny to me.

I got a jury summons about a month ago, first time in about 10 years. I was traveling, got my dates mixed up and missed the week I was supposed to call the number the night before to see if I was to come in the next day. I would have just let it roll but my wife was freaked that I should call and make sure that I am not going to get arrested(geesh).... I tried to find out if I was in the clear only to be redeposited in to next months pool. What a loser.

[PNWbrit]

Last time my wife was called so few people turned up that the presiding judge sent the sheriff's department out to bring in the no shows.

[Hugh Conway]

wait, it's ok to say you aren't from this county, it's not ok to say you aren't from this country?

back on point for why Jury Duty sucks. The new "upgraded" county system asks you to call after 5pm. Every day of the week. Then after 11am on a couple days at the end of the week - when you'll be expected to show up in under an hour. Could they make it any less convenient for everyone, except the court workers?

[PNWbrit]

wait, it's ok to say you aren't from this county, it's not ok to say you aren't from this country?

No, but it's not OK for defense attorney to ask it.

[Ted Striker]

I'm on the jury, making a difference, fulfilling my civic responsibility, puttin' people in jail. Hmm, not so chuffed about that last one. Maybe he's innocent. Who am I kidding, just look at him! Ok seriously, what are the charges?

Trespassing. Meh. Stealing $40 dollars worth of electricity. Meh. Violating a no contact order... well, maybe that's worth a trial ...by text message. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? And why did this go to court?

First Witness: Detective somethingorother

Did you download some text messages from the defendant's wife's phone? Yes. How many? 156 pages worth.

The prosecuting attorney then called the defendant's wife, and asked her to read every single one! Did you receive this text? Was it from your ex-husband?

Uhhgggg. Kill me now.

Numerous objections and sidebars break up the monotony, until we're done for the day. Maybe I'll die in my sleep.

The next day they met in judge's chambers while we played cards. Someone says what we're all thinking: why are we here. Around 2 pm they reach a deal, and we're excused.

Conway had it right in the first post.

[Ted Striker]

Oh, I suppose I should mention that none of the texts were threatening or harassing in any way, and it seemed like the wife was an unwilling participant. So again, why are we here?

wait, it's ok to say you aren't from this county, it's not ok to say you aren't from this country?

No, but it's not OK for defense attorney to ask it.

It was the prosecuting attorney, and it was more of a flippant remark than a real question.

back on point for why Jury Duty sucks. The new "upgraded" county system asks you to call after 5pm. Every day of the week. Then after 11am on a couple days at the end of the week - when you'll be expected to show up in under an hour. Could they make it any less convenient for everyone, except the court workers?

Exact same system here, and I'm theoretically on call for next week too.

[booner]

My experience was terrible. interesting, but terrible. I lost A LOT of money (2 days a week for 3 months) since I was paid a good hourly rate at the time. I got out of it the first time my number came up, but was required to reschedule myself for a better time. The clerk told me I needed a note from a doctor stating that I was physically unable to be in the room in order to get out the second time around. I was on the grand jury with I think 15 other people. at least 13 of them were retarded and completely unable to keep track of facts and think clearly. One case in particular had me spun. Foreman (father of big name pro jibber coincidentally) shows up to job site in morning and fuel tank was tipped over on the ground...and empty. 250 gallon diesel tank sitting on the edge of a gulley that was about 1/4 mile above the lake. He tried to cover it up to save his company's ass and got busted. They charged him with covering it up...nothing to do with the tank falling, just the cover up. The charge was blah, blah, blah 250 gallons or more...Lesser charge applied if it was less than 250 gallons. I tried to explain to these fucks that if he had called someone the second he showed up and saw the tank on the ground they wouldn't have been able to clean up all 250 gallon...maybe 10 or whatever, but certainly less than 250 and so he should be indited on a lesser charge. They looked at me like I just spoke to them in code and carried on inditing him for all 250 gallons..keep in mind he wasn't being held responsible for the spill, just the cover up. I was the only person that voted no...I could have strangled someone. Left with with even less hope for humanity than I already had...people are fucking stooopit. Especially the older women that sat with me...sad how clueless they were about everything that had been told to them. They would have the facts completely fucked off on almost every case...so frustrating

[liv2ski]

So great to be a Green Card holder when that letter comes in the mail once a year

[Ted Striker]

So great to be a Green Card holder when that letter comes in the mail once a year

My wife says the same thing, but changes her tune around election time.