About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[Buzzworthy]

Depression my whole life has gotten the best of me.
I’m over it. Nothing gets better. It’s just one evil cycle after another. I’m tired of living this way. I’ve been doing some real stupid shit lately and I no longer care about the consequences. Or really anything for that matter.

[Upinsmoke]

Hey! Hold on there. You have a family, it is worth living for them. It’s best to seek out some professional and positive help. I lost my best friend to suicide and I wish everyday I could have helped more. Pls seek help. Positive thoughts

[NBABUCKS1]

bro i don't know you, but appreciate your posts. Not sure what you mean by this post but i'm sure there are a bunch of people here who think you are fucking rad besides me.

getting old blows but there's always good turns at some point in the future.

please talk to someone who can help you feel better about where you are at now.

[2FUNKY]

Hey Buzz, please don’t do anything rash man. Everything gets better, trust me. I wasn’t in a good place during my divorce but things got immensely better. You’re young and apparently have a family. Please think of them. Talk to a counselor man!!! Stay strong man!


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Gcooker]

Call 9-8-8 --- Any Utah mags able to drop in?

[bennymac]

I’ll third the “talk to someone” recommendation - whether it’s a trusted friend and/or a professional. And post your thoughts in here (as much as you want) as well.

And go skiing. Yeah it doesn’t “fix” things but it’s fun as hell even when the snow sucks.

[John_B]

Hey Buzz, I want to echo the others. You've got a good group of e-friends here and I'm sure some folks you know IRL too. Please give one of them a call if things are feeling bad and find a pro to talk with. I know this sounds obvious but suicide is a very permanent thing. Again talk with someone and I'm sure you'll be able to work through this.

Maybe find someone other than Leroy though.....

[J. Barron DeJong]

I know personally that it’s hard to seek help for yourself when suffering from depression. For me, finally opening up to my wife about how bad it was getting for me changed our dynamic and instead of fighting and blame, she wanted to get me the help I wasn’t able to get for myself.

Please don’t be afraid to lean on your family or friends in a time of need. They’ll want to help.

[AK47bp]

Talking to people about depression is really hard if you have depression.

There are a bunch of websites/apps now that you can answer a few questions and have depression meds sent to your home quick. Really takes that initial hurdle of reaching out and makes it easy.

This one is good.

https://www.hims.com/psychiatry

Think of your kids.

[Buzzworthy]

I learned to not lean on anybody. In the end they’ll abandon you. Happens every time. Happened again. My trust is gone.

[Buzzworthy]

My child is an adult. I’m no longer needed.
Skiing isn’t fun anymore. Mountain biking isn’t fun anymore. Life hasn’t been fun for a long time. Caring has become difficult. Fuck I don’t even enjoy beer much anymore. I just don’t give a shit anymore and it’s scary.

[Upinsmoke]

Your adult child needs you more than ever. Hang in there…we need you here in this community

[ötzi]

R. you have friends. I'm your friend, although I haven't seen you for quite a while. Lean on your friends. Don't do anything you can't undo later.

[BmillsSkier]

Hey Buzz, I'll add another voice to the room here. Please don't do anything you can't take back. I know you're hurting and numb and don't care, but I promise you your child and other people who love you will be devastated if anything happens to you. Please don't do that to them.

It may seem small but even starting this thread is a step in the right direction of saying you need help, and its OK to need help. We all need help to get through life. Remember, it's not a trite saying, it really is OK to not be OK.

Please lean on us here and those you have locally around you. A blank canvas to vent to can be a really useful thing.

[XXX-er]

I been micro dosing psilocybin for a few months so 150-200 MG every other day

I would say it helps with anxiety & stress and somehow I havent touched an MJ gummy since