Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[riser4]

Thing #3's first complete sentence was "Uh-oh, [thing #2] did it!" Quite the little snitch. They still like to get physical and tussle over ridiculous things. Ages 20 and 18.

[snapt]

Whomever suggested the cry it out...we went for a modified version and it took all of a night to get to much better sleep. Helped Mrs SnapT tremendously with the PPD to at least be better rested.

Until last night. Little dude has been a bit off and a very low grade fever for a few days. No biggie until he had a black tarry diaper. Got into our Ped and sure as shit (pun intended) it tested positive for blood. Sent us straight to the ED. Thankfully imaging and and labs came back normal. He did well with an IV and fluids for an 8 month old. All diapers since have been good. Super odd one off GI bleed likely caused by a stomach bug causing GI inflammation apparently. Super scary nonetheless for our first illness. Anyone ever go through something similar?

[The Reverend Floater]

Progressive trial-and-error of a two year old who wants to keep reading instead of going to bed:

1. Ask to read again. Doesn't work.
2. Ask to read a second book after current book is finished. Doesn't work.
3. Ask to read a second book before current book is finished. Doesn't work.
4. Furnish second book and ask to switch before current book is finished. Doesn't work.
5. Turn pages of current book back to beginning before book is finished. Doesn't work.
6. Slow pace of reading by pointing to pages and flipping back a forth between pages. Doesn't work.
7. TBD.

FWIW, we did absolute BATTLE with our youngest up until recently. She would resist bed at all costs, then get in there and do everything possible to delay. Sometimes she'd scream and cry, run out and lay on the floor. Repeat. It was brutal and very disheartening.

We finally found a solution: We tell her "it's time to wind down and go to your room. We can read 3 books but you can't leave your room." No mention of bed time or going to sleep. The first week she would go in, fuck around for an hour, then fall asleep. Within a few weeks she was asking for books and then falling asleep, right on schedule.

Basically lull them into thinking they have a choice.

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[jackattack]

Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

Joe, condolences for your loss. It’s good to hear you have the support of family. If the TGR community can be of support don’t hold back.



On a less somber note, I suppose now is as good a time as any to share that we welcomed our first kid into the family in late May. Its been an amazing and exhausting experience. We’re stoked to have this little guy in the family.

[::: :::]

So sorry to read about that, Joe — tell your son happy stories about your wife so he knows something about her. You will heal slowly but know that it will happen.


Congrats jackattack

[lowsparkco]

Congrats Jackattack. Your little guy must be a week or two younger than my little girl, born 5/17.

Tomorrow will be the end of the first week since her mom returned to work. I’ve been pretty nervous about it being just the two of us, but it’s actually been pretty amazing.

[alias_rice]

On a less somber note, I suppose now is as good a time as any to share that we welcomed our first kid into the family in late May. Its been an amazing and exhausting experience. We’re stoked to have this little guy in the family.

]

Congrats! Hopefully you guys are getting a little sleep.

[californiagrown]

Tomorrow will be the end of the first week since her mom returned to work. I’ve been pretty nervous about it being just the two of us, but it’s actually been pretty amazing.

I was a little anxious about taking care of my guy when wifey went back to work and i started my tour of paternity leave. But i found it pretty darn easy comparatively because all you really have to do is try, and you will do a good job. And right around the age of your kids is when my kid stopped being such a potato and actually started developing something resembling a personality, and those smiles and giggles recharge your batteries real quick.

[riser4]

I was a little anxious about taking care of my guy when wifey went back to work and i started my tour of paternity leave. But i found it pretty darn easy comparatively because all you really have to do is try, and you will do a good job. And right around the age of your kids is when my kid stopped being such a potato and actually started developing something resembling a personality, and those smiles and giggles recharge your batteries real quick.

The smiles. And the giggles. And the crying. And the screaming. Wait, wuht?

[SchralphMacchio]

I’m over 4.5 years into being a full time dad. Any others here?

With the first kid it was challenging in that it was new, and there is always conflict of trying to “get shit done” like fix a drain trap or broken doorknob while wheeling the kid around the house in a bassinet, trying to fit 2 hour jobs into a nap that could be 30 minutes or 3 hours - could be awesome or disaster.

I found the sweet spot of full time dadding was from 4 months to a year or so, then I could take advantage of consolidated sleep and a semi regular nap schedule, it helped to work out balancing taking care of the kid, getting exercise by carrying the kid on my back, and doing house chores when the kid was asleep. Older than that I had a lot more conflict, either of my kids didn’t want to be stuck in a pack and play while I was fixing the garage door opener or prepping dinner or whatever, they would be chucking all their books and toys out of the pack and play (or even our 10x10 baby play area in the living room) yelling because they wanted to be engaged with me. So, less shit done and more time spent with the kid at playgrounds and libraries, still trying to max out shit done during nap intervals, which would be totally disrupted by teething. Thankfully still not too heavy for me to wear on my back and use them as exercise when they were home full time. But naps were more often than not lost causes for productivity older than 1, with lots of CO2 pollution created doing nap drives (taking an hour to drive to the grocery store that’s only 7 minutes away) during teething periods when they were miserable.

My kids are now both in weekday care and I have more time to think about what’s next, but even still with how much time it takes to do daycare dropoff pickups, grocery runs, walking the dog and keeping her sane, keeping the homestead up and running, looking for jobs, damn I have *barely* been on the MTB these last 2 months!

Mostly for me I think being a full time home maker came down to:
-Lean into the uncomfortable parts of being alone with kiddo and just keep working to figure out how to meet their needs
-I had already gotten pretty far in my career that I had no need to prove my worth to anyone, I think that confidence helped not having a problem not being a financial contributor for the family. Also my partner was at a point where she needed to build her career (also her loan forgiveness program required her to work full time), and me being at home gave her the space to do that.
-She also earned more money than I could so that was also a no brainer.
-I’m independent enough to not give a crap about gender roles, of course mom does things differently or that I can’t do, just acknowledge it and focus on what I can do.
-Prioritizing the health and develop needs of kid, the chores needed to keep the house up and running, and still protecting time for myself to exercise and have fuck around with shit time.

[skiJ]

I’m over 4.5 years into being a full time dad. Any others here?

With the first kid it was challenging in that it was new, and there is always conflict of trying to “get shit done” like fix a drain trap or broken doorknob while wheeling the kid around the house in a bassinet, trying to fit 2 hour jobs into a nap that could be 30 minutes or 3 hours - could be awesome or disaster.

I found the sweet spot of full time dadding was from 4 months to a year or so, then I could take advantage of consolidated sleep and a semi regular nap schedule, it helped to work out balancing taking care of the kid, getting exercise by carrying the kid on my back, and doing house chores when the kid was asleep. Older than that I had a lot more conflict, either of my kids didn’t want to be stuck in a pack and play while I was fixing the garage door opener or prepping dinner or whatever, they would be chucking all their books and toys out of the pack and play (or even our 10x10 baby play area in the living room) yelling because they wanted to be engaged with me. So, less shit done and more time spent with the kid at playgrounds and libraries, still trying to max out shit done during nap intervals, which would be totally disrupted by teething. Thankfully still not too heavy for me to wear on my back and use them as exercise when they were home full time. But naps were more often than not lost causes for productivity older than 1, with lots of CO2 pollution created doing nap drives (taking an hour to drive to the grocery store that’s only 7 minutes away) during teething periods when they were miserable.

My kids are now both in weekday care and I have more time to think about what’s next, but even still with how much time it takes to do daycare dropoff pickups, grocery runs, walking the dog and keeping her sane, keeping the homestead up and running, looking for jobs, damn I have *barely* been on the MTB these last 2 months!

Mostly for me I think being a full time home maker came down to:
-Lean into the uncomfortable parts of being alone with kiddo and just keep working to figure out how to meet their needs
-I had already gotten pretty far in my career that I had no need to prove my worth to anyone, I think that confidence helped not having a problem not being a financial contributor for the family. Also my partner was at a point where she needed to build her career (also her loan forgiveness program required her to work full time), and me being at home gave her the space to do that.
-She also earned more money than I could so that was also a no brainer.
-I’m independent enough to not give a crap about gender roles, of course mom does things differently or that I can’t do, just acknowledge it and focus on what I can do.
-Prioritizing the health and develop needs of kid, the chores needed to keep the house up and running, and still protecting time for myself to exercise and have fuck around with shit time.

+1. post preservation worthy -

Good post, Schralph-

skiJ

[oldnew_guy]

I’m over 4.5 years into being a full time dad. Any others here?

With the first kid it was challenging in that it was new, and there is always conflict of trying to “get shit done” like fix a drain trap or broken doorknob while wheeling the kid around the house in a bassinet, trying to fit 2 hour jobs into a nap that could be 30 minutes or 3 hours - could be awesome or disaster.

I found the sweet spot of full time dadding was from 4 months to a year or so, then I could take advantage of consolidated sleep and a semi regular nap schedule, it helped to work out balancing taking care of the kid, getting exercise by carrying the kid on my back, and doing house chores when the kid was asleep. Older than that I had a lot more conflict, either of my kids didn’t want to be stuck in a pack and play while I was fixing the garage door opener or prepping dinner or whatever, they would be chucking all their books and toys out of the pack and play (or even our 10x10 baby play area in the living room) yelling because they wanted to be engaged with me. So, less shit done and more time spent with the kid at playgrounds and libraries, still trying to max out shit done during nap intervals, which would be totally disrupted by teething. Thankfully still not too heavy for me to wear on my back and use them as exercise when they were home full time. But naps were more often than not lost causes for productivity older than 1, with lots of CO2 pollution created doing nap drives (taking an hour to drive to the grocery store that’s only 7 minutes away) during teething periods when they were miserable.

My kids are now both in weekday care and I have more time to think about what’s next, but even still with how much time it takes to do daycare dropoff pickups, grocery runs, walking the dog and keeping her sane, keeping the homestead up and running, looking for jobs, damn I have *barely* been on the MTB these last 2 months!

Mostly for me I think being a full time home maker came down to:
-Lean into the uncomfortable parts of being alone with kiddo and just keep working to figure out how to meet their needs
-I had already gotten pretty far in my career that I had no need to prove my worth to anyone, I think that confidence helped not having a problem not being a financial contributor for the family. Also my partner was at a point where she needed to build her career (also her loan forgiveness program required her to work full time), and me being at home gave her the space to do that.
-She also earned more money than I could so that was also a no brainer.
-I’m independent enough to not give a crap about gender roles, of course mom does things differently or that I can’t do, just acknowledge it and focus on what I can do.
-Prioritizing the health and develop needs of kid, the chores needed to keep the house up and running, and still protecting time for myself to exercise and have fuck around with shit time.

Damn, not full time, but this post speaks to me. Definitely have put the career on the back burner for similar reasons recently and hope to move to to less and less work over the next few years and might go full time Dad in the next few years.

Not sure I can handle not having something to do during the day, but will be happy to not be outsourcing their care as much.

[SchralphMacchio]

Oh believe me the problem won’t be not having anything to do during the day. The problem will be dialing in your schedule to fit in what you can, while also tempering expectations and acknowledging that a good day is a day where the kids ate well, got to school/daycare without much fuss, come home happy and healthy, minimum chores got done, you did one thing to take care of yourself, and any other single thing that got crossed off your list is purely a bonus cherry!

[SkiLyft]

First time in the ski shop this year for little #1. She’s stoked. The Father in me can get behind this marriage.




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[carlh]

Getting into riding his MTB. He took a pedal head trail class and is now having fun at duthie!