I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[plugboots]

I was inspired by this post in iceman's goggle thread:

Fuck fucking goggles in general. Fucking things fucking suck. Fucking wife always complaining she put the wrong lens in, and I have to fucking change them because for some fucking reason she seems to be able to put earrings thru tiny fucking holes in her ears, but can't seem to snap a fucking lens in a fucking goggle frame without fucking it all up.

Just had to get that off my chest this am, sorry.

I do ALL sports related anything, I feel your pain.

We have an apartment in Issaquah, (Seattle suburb), now, so my wife takes the Golf R and drives over a big lane barrier thing to the tune of $2500 worth of 2 rims, tires, alignment, etc.

She gets some mail from the city and opens it up, sees a picture of the Golf and a nice $140 fine, and says "How do they know it's me?" She gets a second letter like that a day later.

She is great, yada, yada, yada, but WTF?

What else you guys got?

[4matic]

Looks fade. Dumb is forever.

Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.

[stfu&gbtw]

Looks fade. Dumb gets progressively worse.

FIFY.

Also love my wife. Love the woman I married even more.... As for the woman I started dating way back when? YOWZA!

And it's got nothing to do with looks... Yoga and green smoothies may seem ridiculous, but that shit'll keep a woman skinny.

Doesn't keep the smart in though...

Sometimes my wife seems like she's on some kind of mission to see how dumb she can be before the world bites back. We had a dishwasher once upon a time that was ok, but not great. The wife would routinely over load the thing and complain that the DW didn't work... So one day, the DW gave up the ghost and I bought another one. This time, I got a real nice stainless steel tub model with all sorts of extra sprayers and a heavy duty cycle that runs for e goddamn hours. Dishes come out SPOTLESS. So what does my wife do? She gets progressively more careless about how she loads the thing until one day, she happens to complain that the DW didn't do a good job, so I come over to look and she's got cooking spoons stacked together in the top rack like you'd store them in a drawer... WTF? Who in their right mind would think a dishwasher can fix that? And this is a woman with a goddamned masters degree! There must be something fundamentally detrimental about feeling like you have a dedicated person to complain to who's on the hook to fix whatever you can break...

This morning was a classic... we have a 1 year old puppy. The dog is a fucking sweetheart. My wife gets up at 515 or so and starts doing whatever... the dog is whining to get out of the crate. After 45 minutes or so, my wife lets the dog out of the crate, but doesn't let her out to pee. 20 minutes later, the dog pees on the floor, and my wife gets PO'd at the dog! She goes on yhis little rant about how the dog is out of control, can't be trained, etc. So I asked her (my wife, that is) if she'd gone to the bathroom yet... she said she had. I suggested that possibly after sleeping all night, the dog might have to go too, and perhaps she should just open the door and let the dog out. It was a quiet morning after that. I seem to recall a time when getting the silent treatment from my woman bothered me... now, it's the goal of half my conversations!

[TomCrac]

Wife comes in to the lodge bitchin and moanin that some douche bag just creased the length of our car with his ball hitch. I'm like WTF?... where is he, what'd he say. Find out that it was parked (and empty). She basically hit a parked truck and was trying to blame it on the fucking PARKED truck.

I've also been to blame for not packing her boots to the mountain. She has 3 pairs now.

[TomCrac]

Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.

$600.00 ???

[frorider]

This thread could get ugly. Carry on.

[Danno]

Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.

in Colorado, if you don't pay they have to personally serve you within 90 days of the violation or it disappears.

[riser4]

And I bet none of the whiners in this thread have ever done a stupid thing in their lives. Right. Carry on.

[Flyoverland Captive]

Do women have difficulty seeing the color yellow? I ask because every time I start my wife's car, I'm greeted with a vast array of yellow warning lights: engine maintenance required, low tire somewhere, fluid low, etc.

WTF? How can she possibly not notice this?

[4matic]

$600.00 ???

Red light violation in California $490 plus ct fees

[BS720]

Red light violation in California $490 plus ct fees

Don't tell me you PAID???

[iceman]

It's not the dumb shit that gets me, I do plenty of dumb shit myself. it's the fucking batshit crazy that I have a problem with.

[shroom]

This thread could get ugly. Carry on.

let it all out boys

[neufox47]

Girlfriend once said "squirrels live in trees?!?"

[mcski]

getting the silent treatment from my woman bothered me... now, it's the goal of half my conversations!

I just got a new life plan. Thanks!